(no subject)
very very tired. i was up till 8:30 this morning. we went to leighanne's last night and actually did not get drunk. we couldn't get to the liquor store in time so we wound up only having enough to make one margarita which we left in the blender and drank it with crazy straws.but we watched eddie izzard and queer as folk and had fun. well, v-day is finally over and done with so i don't have to worry about that for another 364 days, thank god. it wasnt horrible, but it wasn't great. i did get presents from brittany though, it was nice. i got a call from lewis today! he called from south africa. i was so damn excited when i picked up that phone and it was him. i miss lewis, i miss a lot of things actually. i miss not being bitter and alone the most truthfully.i feel that i'm doing fairly well with this whole mike issue except sometimes i can't ignore how much it hurts. i try really hard to just be myself and laugh it off, but it catches up to me sometimes. and i think this is one of those times.i guess valentine's day did have it's effect on me, you know the one that valentine's day has on all of the depressed/lonely/heartbroken people?where theres a 50/50 chance one of us is going to go completely and totally insane and a) get really drunk and call our ex and pathetically beg them to come home or take us back or b) get really drunk and kill ourselves. but it's like hard harry said in pump up the volume: now i'm depressed. now i want to kill myself, but luckily, i'm too depressed to bother. whatever, ill eventually wake up one day and realize i'm fine. well let's hope anyway. that's all i can really do.but it's bedtime. i'm exhausted.