A year older

[amandafaye]

But I don't feel a day wiser, that's for sure. Life sucks right now. Still lots of health issues. I don't want to go into a long whining bitch fest to pity myself, so I'll just give you the rundown on things.

HEALTH

• I have an OB/GYN, a GI specialist, a urologist, a endo specialist, and an acupuncturist/herbal doctor.
• I'm still in pain EVERY day. Mornings are the worst - it takes 2 pain pills to get me out of bed.
• I take 6 medications and 2 chinese herbs every day - not counting pain pills.
• After many many doctors appts. noone knows what to do with me, so I'm going back to the endo specialist in Little Rock on Friday.

JOB

• I manage 13-20 hours a week. Horrendous on my paycheck.
• My FMLA assistance is running out. I can only miss like 12 more days before they start taking away my benefits.
• Lots of people have been asking whether I'm going to be here in the Fall. I'm so afraid I'm going to get canned.

RELATIONSHIP

• It's more of a pseudo-relationship right now. We're not seeing each other much b/c we aren't getting along.
• We only stay together about 1 night a week. It's killing me.
• We fight ALL the time - about my pain, jobs, friends, finances, sex, marriage, infertility. He can be so mean and cruel sometimes and then again he can be so loving and does a wonderful job taking care of me. I don't know where we're going.

PARENTS

• My mom comes up at least once a week to help me out. Her coming up to cook for me and do laundry helps so much when the pain's so bad I can't even move. Plus when we get along, she's good company.
• My parents want me to move back home, which is Muldrow, OK for those of you who don't know. This would be a dying last resort for me. I can not stand that tiny little town or the stupid Muldrownians that live there.

FUN

• What little I do have has been with Jess. We've been successfully hanging out for a couple of weeks now. I never brought up the Conway issue with her.
• My birthday was last Sat. Wasn't able to do much, which greatly disappointed me. Zane took me out to dinner at a really nice restaurant.
• Dinner was great - spinach and artichoke dip for an appetizer, I had salmon and shrimp w/a citrus sauce and rice and veggies, Zane had duck crepes (yum), and cream brule for dessert. Then we went back to his house to watch The Life Aquatic (hilarious!!) and drink a bottle of wine.

Exciting stuff, isn't it.