(no subject)
I just had the extremely terrible idea of going back to read early journal entries. I only got through 8 or so of them before I had to stop reading because I was so embarrassed. Why did I ever write in this thing when I had nothing to say? I mean, technically I have nothing to say now but then I had nothing better to talk about than who I was going to go call and what I had just eaten. It was also disgusting how much Internet slang I used. Anyway, now is the point when this turns into a real journal entry. I think I'm just going to type whatever pops into my head. That's always fun when I can't sleep.
I don't know who I am even though I pretend like I know myself better than anyone else knows him or herself. I feel like this summer might turn into a wasted 3 months just like every other summer I've had. On the other hand, it could be one that I remember forever. We'll see how it goes. I'm tired and I have to wake up early but I would rather sit here numb, typing, than do anything else. I just ranted about how disturbing my old entries were, because they were boring and pointless, but this entry is just as bad as they were if not worse. I still don't know when and when not to use commas. I wish I knew more about everything. I want to know everything I possibly can. However, I'm realizing exactly how lazy I am. I watched The Notebook today for the millionth time and I cried again. That movie never ceases to make me more emotional than I ever am in real life. Speaking of my lack of emotions, I realized today that when I get mad or upset, I lose all feeling. Maybe that's why I am such an apathetic person. I've numbed myself towards extreme feelings. I can deal with your everyday, basic, neutral feelings, but when it comes to actually expressing exreme emotions I just can't do it.
Ok, I'm done. I could talk about what exactly is going on in my life... who my friends are, family stuff, boyfriend stuff, school stuff, etc, but I'd rather not waste my time.
I don't know who I am even though I pretend like I know myself better than anyone else knows him or herself. I feel like this summer might turn into a wasted 3 months just like every other summer I've had. On the other hand, it could be one that I remember forever. We'll see how it goes. I'm tired and I have to wake up early but I would rather sit here numb, typing, than do anything else. I just ranted about how disturbing my old entries were, because they were boring and pointless, but this entry is just as bad as they were if not worse. I still don't know when and when not to use commas. I wish I knew more about everything. I want to know everything I possibly can. However, I'm realizing exactly how lazy I am. I watched The Notebook today for the millionth time and I cried again. That movie never ceases to make me more emotional than I ever am in real life. Speaking of my lack of emotions, I realized today that when I get mad or upset, I lose all feeling. Maybe that's why I am such an apathetic person. I've numbed myself towards extreme feelings. I can deal with your everyday, basic, neutral feelings, but when it comes to actually expressing exreme emotions I just can't do it.
Ok, I'm done. I could talk about what exactly is going on in my life... who my friends are, family stuff, boyfriend stuff, school stuff, etc, but I'd rather not waste my time.