Tuesday rhymes with Amanda (shut up, yes it does)
Dear, Alyssa
I hate to waste this space on a waste of space like yourself, but it must be done. You and that cuban chic julie had better watch it beacuse my grandmother is teaching me everything i know about salsa, and by Friday i will be unstoppable! YEoW! Call the fire department cuz i'm...on...fire. oh.
And another thing, if you get julie then i get to bring a friend too! But since i don't have any (yet) would anyone be my friend? I offer $15/hr! Plus dental!
right, so yesterday i thought about revealing myself to Amanda. This is too soon. I won't be ready until at least Friday. Yeah, Friday. Friday is the day I will crawl from the depths of the shadows, climb to the tallest couch in 131 and really meekly say "um, Amanda, I uh...well you see, the thing is...uh...Look over there!" and then run away. I'm so nervous!
so, what to put on my list today? I have so much studying to do, Im so stressed! this may have to be a shorter list. See i have all my finals all this week and then i have Amanda finals after school each day! What are Amanda finals, you ask? Well, they are hour and a half long exams that test my knowledge on Amanda, each based on general aspects of Amanda. Today I had to take "Amanda's Friends 101" and let me tell you, that was a doozie. I know what you're thinking; are you writing these tests? and the answer is yes. SO how come i don't pass them all if i wrote all the questions? Because i have been writing these tests all year so a lot of the material is old. also, after each question i write i go and do a lot of stuff to help me forget. like i'll go read the entire "h" seciton of the dictionary, or try to memorize the label information on the back of my microwave.
Tomorrow I have "Ap History of Amanda: freshmen-junior" followed by "Advanced Amanda" first semester senior year" That one is really intense. there's a lot of info in that one. then on thursday I have "Ap Amanda's wardrobe" and "Honors Amanda's eyes" That one is my favorite class. i'm writing a dissertation for it right now. Then finally on friday i have "the fictitious history of Amanda's boyfriend: Grant through the ages" that one is especially funny because of all the crazy things some people believe. Hahaha! Grant! Like he's actually real! Then my last Amanda final is "Amanda Lit". Here i look over texts i have compiled from notes i take of amanda speaking and analyze them. For example when Alyssa said today, "have you seen that kid that is in love with you" Amanda replied "what? I have no idea who you're talking about" A freshmen might interpret this as a sign that she doesn't know who i am, but as an experienced and well-learned student i know that this really means that she loves me.
Okay, today's list IS:
Reasons i would kill you in the name of Amanda
1) if your name rhymes with Mallissa Kiaz or Dulie Mideruez
2)if you talk to her for more than five minutes. i'm usually pretty lenient on this one, but i do keep a stopwatch with me. C'mon people, quit hogging all the Amanda!
3) if you don't cut your cuticles. don't ask me why. that just pisses me off
4) if you wash Amanda's clothes before i have a chance to sneak into her room and steal some of it. this hasn't happened yet, but i know i would lose it if it did
5) if you don't open the door for Amanda
6) if you take Amanda hiking. What are you thinking?! There are bears out there! At least twelve different bears!
7) if you hug Amanda. how dare you touch the skin of an angel! Damn thee to hell! I hope you perish in the fiery breath of satan for a million years for every millasecond that her dainty cream complexion is forced to come in contact with your nasty scabby epidermal sickness
8) if you tell Amanda what to do. stop your yapping and bow down to the queen! I hope she knits your face to her...face...knitting...um...
9)if you made fun of my ice sculpture because it had broccoli in it. can i help it if i often worry for Amanda's nutritional needs? Good god, we need to keep her alive! It's exhausting being that smart people! Jesus, why doesn't everybody just have food ready for her to eat at all times? I would, if i thought i could come into contact with her without passing out. instead i attempt to feed her by deep-freezing vegetables in the same jar as buddha statues and marbles. is that really so weird?
10) if you think about Amanda without my permission. and i can read all your minds too, so don't even try
well, thats' all for today, ill start the...Amanda, Amanda...wow, where did that come from? I started early! I must be fiesty!
Amanda
Amanda
Amanda
AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDA
AMAAAAAAAAAAAAA...woo. told you i was fiesty
I hate to waste this space on a waste of space like yourself, but it must be done. You and that cuban chic julie had better watch it beacuse my grandmother is teaching me everything i know about salsa, and by Friday i will be unstoppable! YEoW! Call the fire department cuz i'm...on...fire. oh.
And another thing, if you get julie then i get to bring a friend too! But since i don't have any (yet) would anyone be my friend? I offer $15/hr! Plus dental!
right, so yesterday i thought about revealing myself to Amanda. This is too soon. I won't be ready until at least Friday. Yeah, Friday. Friday is the day I will crawl from the depths of the shadows, climb to the tallest couch in 131 and really meekly say "um, Amanda, I uh...well you see, the thing is...uh...Look over there!" and then run away. I'm so nervous!
so, what to put on my list today? I have so much studying to do, Im so stressed! this may have to be a shorter list. See i have all my finals all this week and then i have Amanda finals after school each day! What are Amanda finals, you ask? Well, they are hour and a half long exams that test my knowledge on Amanda, each based on general aspects of Amanda. Today I had to take "Amanda's Friends 101" and let me tell you, that was a doozie. I know what you're thinking; are you writing these tests? and the answer is yes. SO how come i don't pass them all if i wrote all the questions? Because i have been writing these tests all year so a lot of the material is old. also, after each question i write i go and do a lot of stuff to help me forget. like i'll go read the entire "h" seciton of the dictionary, or try to memorize the label information on the back of my microwave.
Tomorrow I have "Ap History of Amanda: freshmen-junior" followed by "Advanced Amanda" first semester senior year" That one is really intense. there's a lot of info in that one. then on thursday I have "Ap Amanda's wardrobe" and "Honors Amanda's eyes" That one is my favorite class. i'm writing a dissertation for it right now. Then finally on friday i have "the fictitious history of Amanda's boyfriend: Grant through the ages" that one is especially funny because of all the crazy things some people believe. Hahaha! Grant! Like he's actually real! Then my last Amanda final is "Amanda Lit". Here i look over texts i have compiled from notes i take of amanda speaking and analyze them. For example when Alyssa said today, "have you seen that kid that is in love with you" Amanda replied "what? I have no idea who you're talking about" A freshmen might interpret this as a sign that she doesn't know who i am, but as an experienced and well-learned student i know that this really means that she loves me.
Okay, today's list IS:
Reasons i would kill you in the name of Amanda
1) if your name rhymes with Mallissa Kiaz or Dulie Mideruez
2)if you talk to her for more than five minutes. i'm usually pretty lenient on this one, but i do keep a stopwatch with me. C'mon people, quit hogging all the Amanda!
3) if you don't cut your cuticles. don't ask me why. that just pisses me off
4) if you wash Amanda's clothes before i have a chance to sneak into her room and steal some of it. this hasn't happened yet, but i know i would lose it if it did
5) if you don't open the door for Amanda
6) if you take Amanda hiking. What are you thinking?! There are bears out there! At least twelve different bears!
7) if you hug Amanda. how dare you touch the skin of an angel! Damn thee to hell! I hope you perish in the fiery breath of satan for a million years for every millasecond that her dainty cream complexion is forced to come in contact with your nasty scabby epidermal sickness
8) if you tell Amanda what to do. stop your yapping and bow down to the queen! I hope she knits your face to her...face...knitting...um...
9)if you made fun of my ice sculpture because it had broccoli in it. can i help it if i often worry for Amanda's nutritional needs? Good god, we need to keep her alive! It's exhausting being that smart people! Jesus, why doesn't everybody just have food ready for her to eat at all times? I would, if i thought i could come into contact with her without passing out. instead i attempt to feed her by deep-freezing vegetables in the same jar as buddha statues and marbles. is that really so weird?
10) if you think about Amanda without my permission. and i can read all your minds too, so don't even try
well, thats' all for today, ill start the...Amanda, Amanda...wow, where did that come from? I started early! I must be fiesty!
Amanda
Amanda
Amanda
AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDA
AMAAAAAAAAAAAAA...woo. told you i was fiesty