(no subject)

[amanda_8604]

All i can say is that i am in complete SHOCK! Just when i thought i was going to be O.K. i get thrown into another brick wall. i came back from leah cabin up north today and i was in my room at Joyann's house unpacking when i looked at the T.V. and saw that someone had written "MOVE OUT!" on the screen. It was george, Joyann's boyfriend. I was appauled! who does that?!?! He is 51 yrs old. You think he sould be man enough to talk to me in person about it right? fucking crazy. Then he comes home and he is just a total asshole. Says he wants me out of the house because he doesnt agree with my life style and my behavior! He wants me out of the house because i am a lesbian!!!! and this came out of NO WHERE! he is always like "hi, how are you?" when he sees me and llike "you know we appriciate what you do in this house" and all that bullshit. Totally two faced. He fucking called me a dyke and said that i throw parties when they are out of town and that i have dyke people come over to the house, and that i am just a bad person to have around the "his" kids. (hello! they are not his kids! and i told him that) and ANYONE who knows me knows that i am awesome with children. I love those girls so much. I have NEVER EVER EVER held leah's had or kissed her or anything of that nature infront of those girls or even infront of joyann or george. He is INSANE! and how dare her call me a dyke!?! that is so derogatory! thats like calling a guy a faggot or something. I have NEVER disrespected him!! EVER! I have never talked back to him or joyann or anything. he is pulling shit out of his ass just because he has a problem with my sexuallity which has NOTHING to do with who i am as a person! I can not believe this! Then he says that he doesnt want me arond Joyann either (who is a grown woman and can make up her own mind) because he thinks that i am sleeping with her!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!!? first of all just because i am Bisexual does not mean i am a whore!!!!! i am in a relationship and i have been for 3 yrs. and she is in a relationshp also. Not to mention she is a friend of mine who i am living with and she is fucking 41 years old!!! she could be my mother. i dont understand how i am a bad person!! i dont understand at all where this came frm out of the blue like that over night! i HATE him. and anyone who knows me knows that i never say i hate someone but i swear i seriously believe that i hate him! And he thinks i am so horrible around the kids (which i know in my heart and sould and mind that i am not AT ALL!!) but her he Gives pot to Joyanns 15 year old daughter knowing that Joyann is 110% against her daughter smoking pot. So if being inlove with Leah is the only thing i have to worry about. I thank God for that. I honestly dont think i am a bad person. and i have NO idea where he is getting this shit. So now i have no where to live! what the fuck am i going to do!?!? i swear to God i didnt do anything to make him do this. i almost wish i had done something just so i could have a reason and understand. I have no idea where i am going to go or what i am going to do until i have enough money to get an aprtment. Im so sorry i am just rambling. its just taht i dont understand. and that i know i didnt not do anything wrong! I love you all. And i am so sorry i dont keep intouch like i should. I am just at a complete loss and i dont know what to do. If anyone knows anyone who needs a room mate PLEASE tell me. I am honestly desperate and not afraid to say that i am scared. I am SOOOOOOO Thankful that i have Leah by my side. i love you. Good night.

P.S. if any of you reading this happen to be someone that talks to my mom or my family please do not tell them what is going on! please. My mom really doesnt need ths extra stress of worrying about me right now. please. If i need to, i will tell her myself. Thank you.
Love,
Me i guess