Trying to make it
So this whole after graduation thing is okay...but not great. I am enjoying getting to see my Mom a lot and help her out but at the same time I am really trying to get to know her business (better than I know it now...all the nuts and bolts) so that I can make a decision as to whether I would like to make it a career and one day take it over or...move onto something else. Right now I am totally on the fence. Sometimes I feel like I could really enjoy doing this for a living and make decent money but then the very next minute I am doubting my skill and whether or not all this work is really worth it. For example, I was a an electrical walk-through this morning with my Mom that lasted for 4.5 HOURS! Yes, the house is f-ing HUGE but the lady is somewhat dinky and that is really what made the process take FOREVER! What was annoying is that I was just there to learn and take in the information as to what to say and how to do an electrical walk-through...therefore, I only stood there for 4.5 hours and didn't say a word. Those are the moments that I really begin to wonder if this is what I want to do? Do I really have the self motivation to make myself learn the skills and be in my Mom's shadow until she retires and then take it over? I'm not sure! I really don't want to prejudge this opportunity because she is really providing me with a great job if I want to take it and I don't even have to interview for it.
On the other hand I still haven't heard from Chico's and I have called and called them asking them what the status of my transfer is. NOTHING, NO ONE EVER F-ING KNOWS ANYTHING! First it was the my manager didn't know if our district manager had gotten the email, then it was the communication between the DM for Baton Rouge and the DM for Gainesville, now it is that we are waiting on the manager (who is MAJOR B.I.T.C.H.) for the Gainesville store who apparently has "health problems." I am sorry that I don't have any sympathy for the manager with apparent health problems but I have been dragged around for too long to have any compassion. Sorry to be so cold-hearted. I really like the Chico's job and I know that I could really do something great here at this store but no one is getting back to me. At first I thought there was something wrong with me but then I remembered the last associate review I had and it was AMAZING and Cathleen said I had nothing to worry about. SO, now I am just frustrated and confused.
My next psychological holdup is...I begin thinking that I am just lazy and don't want to work and that I am really not GREAT at anything...just good at a lot and that is why I am not infinitely happy with any job opportunities now. I DON'T KNOW! I hope that I am not lazy and worthless. I keep getting the itch to seek out a middle school teaching job...but none are open now. I want to give music a try before I lose everything that I have learned. I want to find an assistant middle school job because I don't know that I want to be a head director yet...I would like to learn the ropes a little more first. I am just a mess...at least in the job world.
I miss all my friends in Baton Rouge. I miss just being able to call them up and get out of the house and do something! I am such a loser for not taking more advantage of those opportunities this last semester when I was there. Sorry to all of you about that! I hope to get back a couple of times in the fall for some football games and some fun!!!!
I am sorry to be so negative and word vomity (spelling?). I needed to get that off my shoulders! I hope everyone is finding something they love and pursuing it...I will get back to you when I find my "job I love."
More updates later...hopefully!
On the other hand I still haven't heard from Chico's and I have called and called them asking them what the status of my transfer is. NOTHING, NO ONE EVER F-ING KNOWS ANYTHING! First it was the my manager didn't know if our district manager had gotten the email, then it was the communication between the DM for Baton Rouge and the DM for Gainesville, now it is that we are waiting on the manager (who is MAJOR B.I.T.C.H.) for the Gainesville store who apparently has "health problems." I am sorry that I don't have any sympathy for the manager with apparent health problems but I have been dragged around for too long to have any compassion. Sorry to be so cold-hearted. I really like the Chico's job and I know that I could really do something great here at this store but no one is getting back to me. At first I thought there was something wrong with me but then I remembered the last associate review I had and it was AMAZING and Cathleen said I had nothing to worry about. SO, now I am just frustrated and confused.
My next psychological holdup is...I begin thinking that I am just lazy and don't want to work and that I am really not GREAT at anything...just good at a lot and that is why I am not infinitely happy with any job opportunities now. I DON'T KNOW! I hope that I am not lazy and worthless. I keep getting the itch to seek out a middle school teaching job...but none are open now. I want to give music a try before I lose everything that I have learned. I want to find an assistant middle school job because I don't know that I want to be a head director yet...I would like to learn the ropes a little more first. I am just a mess...at least in the job world.
I miss all my friends in Baton Rouge. I miss just being able to call them up and get out of the house and do something! I am such a loser for not taking more advantage of those opportunities this last semester when I was there. Sorry to all of you about that! I hope to get back a couple of times in the fall for some football games and some fun!!!!
I am sorry to be so negative and word vomity (spelling?). I needed to get that off my shoulders! I hope everyone is finding something they love and pursuing it...I will get back to you when I find my "job I love."
More updates later...hopefully!