I give up...
so talked to rachel online tonight.... what i got out of the converstation.. im gonna get screwd out of flying for free even though they told me already im gonna be able to... and that im a horrible friend and a horrible sister... great! apparently im not a great friend because i only talked to my Indy friends now.. and dont ever call my friends from high school who by the way dont call me????????? what the hell... dumb.. im done trying with people. But other then that. rachel is rachel. we arent gonna get along, its just how we are.. we arent like normal sisters but oh well... but we arent gonna get along really well till she gets over hating carl because he isnt going anywhere,.. i just wish the two of them got along and everyone would stop telling me i act differently around him... maybe its because im happy? who would have thought... I dont think the people around here have realized I have changed, alot.. and that isnt carls fault. I am just not who i use to be three years along and let me tell you im happy im not. that amanda would let people walk all over her more then this amanda does.. scary... she cared way to much what everyone thought about her and all that crap. ya i have changed in the past three years. go away to college for that long and anyone is going to change who they are. Its jsut that simple. I dont think its a bad thing but apparently everyone else does... Im just trying to figure out who i am. and who i am includes who i am when i am with carl. I dont see what the problem is.. we are in love, its gonna stay that way, if i have changed since i have been with him i dont see that as a problem because i am so happy when i am with him and people are gonna get over it... does this entry make anysense? who knows. im jsut tired of everything.. im going to go to sleep so i can sit in bed and think about all the shit that is going on and worry about everything because we all know that is my favorite thing to do........