a cornucopia of beer
"MOMMY DON'T GO TO THE BEER FESTIVAL WAH."
I wanna write this up, but I have so much to do that I really cannot spare the time, so here's a half-assed entry.
On Saturday, I went here. I love this place. They gave me my tasting glass and set me free. We went to the 12-3 one, and it was cooler, lower key and more fun, I think. On the other hand I kind of paced myself so the wanton destruction of earlier gluttonous years was not to be seen.
Do not be fooled. I was wasted by 1:30.
LET'S START OFF LIGHT:
WONDERBREAD TRUCK:
BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE
There is the lesser known Marvin Gaye song, "Let's Get It On (Responsibly)", which was his ode to controlled drinking and condoms:
RECYCLING TIPS:
LOOK HOW INNOCENT EVERYTHING LOOKS IN THE BEGINNING:
THEN IT JUST TURNS TO THIS:
Of the things I tasted, these were the good:
--Bullfrog Brewery's Busted Lawnmower is ALWAYS GOOD, and I closed out the tasting with it. Nom.
--Dogfish Head Craft's Raison d'être is too sweet for emquilxy, but it's right up my alley.
--Roy Pitz Brewing Co's Best Blonde Ale was a gorgeous thing, actually. Light and pale, with a nice aftertaste I could have had a big ass bottle of that shit. It's summer beer.
--A fantastic oak aged beer that was tapped at 1:30, and sthayashi might remember the place, but I do not. It was fantastic.
--Unibroue's Ephemere IS MADE WITH GREEN APPLES AND IT IS THE BEST THING EVER.
--Voodoo Brewery's Vodoo Love Child was a good beer. Not as fun as White Magick of the Sun, but it's highness is too costly to drink every day.
My camera was drunk by this time:
--Terrapin Beer Company's Hopsecutioner IPA:
--Stone Brewing's Levitation Ale. Whoa awesome.
AND SPEAKING OF STONE BREWING. HA HA HA, NICK:
WAIT, WHAT?
DON'T WORRY, HE'S FENCED IN:
Of the neutral (meaning I wasn't wild about it but I drank it because hey, free beer):
--Founder's Brewing Company's Dirty Bastard I picked because of the name, knowing full well that it was too dark for me. You get what you deserve. Bastards.
--Oskar Blues's Gordon's I drank because They were pouring from cans and I actually just wanted one of the necklaces they were giving away, so I told them to surprise me. It wasn't a bad beer, actually, just nothing out of the ordinary.
--Sprague Farm and Brew Works had an Ale Mary that was okay, but a little too hoppy for me. One time they gave me their HELLBENDER (hellraiser? Hell something), and it was black as pitch. Ever since them I go there for the balls alone.
HEY LOOK. MY TWEET IS ON THE BOARD:
Let's all take a minute to admire mah awesome yellow and purple manicure:
I only had one I had to chug or pour out (I might have chugged, as it was my first of the tasting and I didn't want to lose precious drunk-making fluid), and that was Anderson Valley Brewing Company's Hop Ottin' IPA, which I should have known would be too flowery in the hop way for me. I'm a fruity beer girl, not a hoppy one. Give me juniper berries and strawberry wheat and green apples in my beer. Hops taste like earwax. Here you go, have a big ol' glass of fermented carbonated earwax juice. Mmmmmm.
On the other hand, their signage was great:
Things I miss that killed me inside:
--ANYTHING FROM SMUTTYNOSE
--ANYTHING FROM SCHMALTZ BREWING (they had He'brew: Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah on tap! But ha ha I went to The Cave at D's and got a big old bottle of their pomegranate ale for home, so I'll have that in a few days)
--Erie Brewing's Railbender, which always puts me on my ass, and therefore was avoided. Seriously, if you go get a six pack, and you're thinking, "I want to get wasted off three beers. How can that be done?" Railbender is the one to do it. A friend of mine only loses her pants when she has Railbender. EVERY TIME.
Here's the font of one of the awesome kegerators they were raffling off:
I was more interested in the emergency kit on the side of the fridge:
That was my big beer adventure. I was back at my parents at 5:15 to collect my kid, with only a few stickers, a tie-dyed shirt with a frog on it, a hangover and a tasting glass that smelled faintly of alcoholic dreams.
Was it real? Was I the beer drinker? Was I the butterfly? The strawberries tasted awesome.
NEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS:
THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE END
By: Amanda
Grade 4