Comments | amand_r: reports of my physical and mental breakdown have been greatly underexaggerated

amand_r

reports of my physical and mental breakdown have been greatly underexaggerated

Jun 07, 2010 16:06

I don't think it's news to anyone that I'm an up and down person. I have mood swings, and until recently I have always gone with the flow. Back in February the anger end of those issues started to hinder relationships, so I tried to locate causes and tracking on a calendar, and lo and behold they were cyclical, like another cycle I have, go fig ( Read more... )

sick, we're all gonna die, i'm a boss, i need a goddamn pop tart, damn the man, flipping my shit, power lesbians? in my va-jay-jay?, disturbing revelations, and yet we have another problem, sad fecking panda, ifail!, i am a shameless whore, really now?, depression, the suck--let me show you it, it cut off my tag!, cockblocked!, yeats as in beets, the stupid--let me show you it, picking at scabs, i need a dead filter, *muppety handz*, oh snap, what the shit is this?, personal wiggety-wack

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amonitrate June 7 2010, 20:33:47 UTC

It sounds like you're doing a bunch to take care of yourself and I'm really glad. I know how hard even taking those steps can be for me, even making the calls and getting in the door, you know?

amand_r June 7 2010, 20:36:22 UTC

Making the call was hard as fuck. I think seeing how many people have likewise issues the other week when I made that post in lj made me feel better about not being a total life failure. apparently there are massive numbers of us slackers.

amonitrate June 7 2010, 20:38:04 UTC

yeah, I do this every time I need to go to the doctor, let alone for mental health issues, which are worse. I think I have this thing where I assume they're not going to believe me about whatever it is I'm having a problem with so I procrastinate.

amand_r June 7 2010, 20:41:26 UTC

I MAKE A LIST. I HAD A PIECE OF PAPER WITH SYMPTOMS ON IT, AND THEN LIKE THREE POST IT NOTES WITH MORE SYMPTOMS ALL SCRIBBLED ON. PLUS I KEPT RUBBING MY PALMS ON MY LEGS AND ROLLING MY ANKLES. I THINK HE FIGURED OUT I WAS BONKERS.

amonitrate June 7 2010, 20:51:11 UTC

ahahahhahahahaa. This is a good plan. The list part, anyway.

I have the most ridiculous story about the time I went to the doctor for antidepressants a couple of years ago. Wow, the nurse training programs in this area must really not cover Depression 101. I mean, it was so badly handled it was even funny to me while I was crying in my doctor's office.

This nurse trainee comes in and asks me what I'm there to see the doctor for, which is routine, and so I told him I'd been really depressed for awhile, and he asked me what had happened to make me depressed, and I sort of stared at him because I wasn't sure how to answer that, and then he asked if someone had been mean to me. Those where his words. Like I was 12 and someone had pulled my hair on the playground.

Luckily my actual doctor handled it well when she got there, but JFC, that nurse trainee really needed a class or two on Depression: Not Really About People Being Mean To You. I probably should have said something to the doctor about it, but... I was depressed. Heh.

amand_r June 7 2010, 20:52:53 UTC

DUDE, people like that have no business being in medicine.

amonitrate June 7 2010, 20:55:43 UTC

He was very sincere about his question. If I hadn't been really depressed, I probably would have started giggling.

Nursing: ur doin it rong.

amand_r June 7 2010, 20:56:45 UTC

WHO WAS MEAN TO YOU? WAS IT THOSE BITCHES ON THE INTERNET?

I'LL CUT THEM FOR YOU!

amonitrate June 7 2010, 20:59:07 UTC

RIGHT? ALSO, MAYBE MY LITTLE BROTHER STOLE MY BARBIE.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR OFFER, BTW. NEXT TIME SOMEONE'S MEAN TO ME I'LL TOTALLY LET YOU KNOW.

amand_r June 7 2010, 21:01:12 UTC

I CUT LIKE A KNIFE. ROWR. THOSE BITCHES BE FEELING IT WHEN I TELL THEM TO STEP OFF!

amonitrate June 7 2010, 21:03:54 UTC

ROWR IS RIGHT. THEY BETTER STEP OFF.

used_songs June 9 2010, 01:40:10 UTC

Making the call sucks. It's so difficult. I'm glad you did it. And boob burns? Owwwwwwwww!

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