got the phat groove on the reel
Firstly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa's 1993 masterpiece, "Whatta Man", the Bechdel-strangling powerhouse ballad performed with nineties flash-paper early Destiny's Child predecessor, En Vogue:
What a man, what a man, what a man what a mighty good man
What a man, what a man, what a man what a mighty good man…
Yes, my man says he loves me, never says he loves me not
Tryin' to rush me good and touch me in the right spot
See other guys that I've had, they tried to play all that mac shit
But every time they tried I said, "That's not it"
But not this man, he's got the right potion
Baby, rub it down and make it smooth like lotion
Yeah, the ritual, highway to heaven
From seven to seven he's got me open like Seven Eleven
And yes, it's me that he's always choosin'
With him I'm never losin', and he knows that my name is not Susan
He always has heavy conversation for the mind
Which means a lot to me cuz good men are hard to find.
You know, this reminds me directly of another song by another (authentically) powerhouse combination, Bonnie Raitt and Sippi Wallace, "Women Be Wise":
Women be wise, keep your mouth shut,
Don't advertise your man.
Don't ever sit around holding no conversations,
Explaining what your good man do to you.
Cause these women nowadays, they ain't no good;
They laugh in your face, then try to steal your man from you.
Women be wise, keep your mouth shut,
Don't advertise your man.
All I'm saying's that if you are friends with someone who merits the "SO YO SO YO HO" you might want to keep that shit on the DL.
Open like a seven eleven. LAWL.
2. That said, I recently tried Caribou Coffee's offering, called Mahogany.
I want to take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the coffee I been drinking in the morn.
And though most blends are suck
I just had some good luck,
Cause this coffee is a dark roast form of caffeine porn.
And indeed, the best thing about the coffee is the description, which is made of LOL:
Mahogany is a dark roast coffee that offers dry spice notes, woodsy accents and hints of vanilla and flowers. Expect bold, dry spice along with heady, aromatic wood and leather flavors. Look also for the hints of floral, vanilla, molasses and semi-sweet chocolate.
Or possibly the picture on the front:
LOL. So, yeah, I made three pots: well, sort of. The first time was in the French press, but I let it sit too long because I was reading porn, and if you have ever let a dark roast brew for 20 minutes, you know what you get. Things did not bode well for Mahogany.
I did an autodrip, because I know people scorn the auto drip, but for consistency in times brewing, it's great, and I don't use filters, so I'm not as complete philistine, assholes. I'm drinking more right now, actually. The scent is strangely dry, like you smell it and say, "yeah, I get the dry part." Like wine. It is rougher in some ways, like I can see non-coffee drinkers not liking it. On the other hand, it doesn't have that bitter edge that a lot of dark roasts seem to get the SHEER SECOND THE GROUNDS SENSE THAT YOU ARE NOT A TTRAINED BARISTA AND REBEL RIGHT IN THE POT. I am serious, I hate dark roasts because while I love the aesthetic kick of that first cup, I am first and foremost a junkie, and I'll drink the whole pot over the course of an hour or two, well after the time when it should be pitched. Dark roasts can sense that. I open the bag and they see my face and they get out their little red white and blue bandannas and ring a rousing chorus of that rebellion song from Les Mis.
So anyway, this coffee is not bitter, but what I was excited about was that OTHER THING. You saw it. "LEATHER FLAVOURS". Who drinks coffee and says, "You know what this needs, Bob? Some leather."
Bob: I'll go get the gimp mask.
ANYWAY, if by "leather flavours" they mean the general sense of rugged…preppy…hipster…uh...cowboy…ness that I get when I smell the coffee and drink it, then yes. Or the way that after about two cups I get a bit of fur in the back of my mouth as if I have been ball gagged for a while, then yes. On the other hand, I might be somewhat relieved, because we all know that Red Bull's brief flirtation with the "Leather Couch of Love" flavour for their new line of energy drinks was a complete disaster.
Yeah, it's got woody notes, and yeah there's dry spice, but not in that North Carolina dry rub way, if you're asking. But what sells this coffee is the nice oil content, that gives it a bit of a smoothness, and the lack of bitter, even after it's been standing for a while. The Brewmaster says that this is coffee for light roast drinkers who want to delve into a dark, and I agree.
Also, I feel like I'm in Masterpiece Theatre when I drink it.
I haven't tried it in the vacuum, but I never do dark roasts in the vacuum. For why, see Marius and Enjolras over there waving that red and black flag on the battlements.
OMG SIDE NOTE: Trader Joe's makes a coffee called "Wintry Blend" that has beans and red and pink peppercorns and cloves and shit in it. YOU CAN ONLY GET IT AROUND THE WINTER HOLIDAYS. GUESS WHO IS DUMB ENOUGH TO ORDER RED AND PINK PEPPERCORNS? THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE.
I shall relay my adventures as soon as I get out of hospital from my tongue amputation.
3. Okay here's the thing-That Torchwood VS. I haven't been saying anything, and that's kind of shit because I wrote an ep with cruentum and it was AWESOME, and Blue wrote and ep, and it was FUCKING AWESOME, and some other people wrote eps that were great, and all, but I didn't rec them all, and it's one of those things where you feel skeevy reccing one over the other. On the other hand, we all have a favorite TW script writer or preferred episodes, so I'll rec this week:
Family Business by misswinterhill because it has Rhiannon and Ianto and Jack and all the fun. IT HAS BRICK THROWING JOHNNY, but they're all done so well.
Here's the thing. I think any instance in which we delve into Jack and Ianto's relationship in fanfic has the potential to go smooshy in an unrealistic way. Miss Thang doesn't do that. There's Ianto background, tension, a fight, all the while the MAIN plot is going on, and it's lovely, too.
I told Miss Thang and Crue, and so I'll say it here. She's got a gift for humor and timing, better than I've seen in a long time. I say it all the time and that makes me a ho, but a lot of people out there try to write humor, and they are "meh". They don't suck, but it's not…it doesn't have that click that comes from understanding timing or, more importantly, when to stop. Some people find a funny line, and yeah it was good, but then they push it further in the dialogue, keep the joke running too long. Miss Thang's good at knowing where that line is.
Thanks, girl.
NEXT WEEK, there will be the powerhouse of blue_fjords and kel_reiley. I've read the first half-it's fantastic. And if you haven't checked out Blue's co written ep Half-Baked, do so. RHYS AND CUPCAKES. Her JJ and his Torchwood training videos completely fleshed out a whole section of TW that I had never thought of before. HAAA.
And in closing:
Like engine-engine number nine
I got the rump-shakin' flavor with the nasty rhyme
So if the crowd can move with me, move with me
Salt-N-Pepa said groove with me, groove with me.
That is all.
What a man, what a man, what a man what a mighty good man
What a man, what a man, what a man what a mighty good man…
Yes, my man says he loves me, never says he loves me not
Tryin' to rush me good and touch me in the right spot
See other guys that I've had, they tried to play all that mac shit
But every time they tried I said, "That's not it"
But not this man, he's got the right potion
Baby, rub it down and make it smooth like lotion
Yeah, the ritual, highway to heaven
From seven to seven he's got me open like Seven Eleven
And yes, it's me that he's always choosin'
With him I'm never losin', and he knows that my name is not Susan
He always has heavy conversation for the mind
Which means a lot to me cuz good men are hard to find.
You know, this reminds me directly of another song by another (authentically) powerhouse combination, Bonnie Raitt and Sippi Wallace, "Women Be Wise":
Women be wise, keep your mouth shut,
Don't advertise your man.
Don't ever sit around holding no conversations,
Explaining what your good man do to you.
Cause these women nowadays, they ain't no good;
They laugh in your face, then try to steal your man from you.
Women be wise, keep your mouth shut,
Don't advertise your man.
All I'm saying's that if you are friends with someone who merits the "SO YO SO YO HO" you might want to keep that shit on the DL.
Open like a seven eleven. LAWL.
2. That said, I recently tried Caribou Coffee's offering, called Mahogany.
I want to take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the coffee I been drinking in the morn.
And though most blends are suck
I just had some good luck,
Cause this coffee is a dark roast form of caffeine porn.
And indeed, the best thing about the coffee is the description, which is made of LOL:
Mahogany is a dark roast coffee that offers dry spice notes, woodsy accents and hints of vanilla and flowers. Expect bold, dry spice along with heady, aromatic wood and leather flavors. Look also for the hints of floral, vanilla, molasses and semi-sweet chocolate.
Or possibly the picture on the front:
LOL. So, yeah, I made three pots: well, sort of. The first time was in the French press, but I let it sit too long because I was reading porn, and if you have ever let a dark roast brew for 20 minutes, you know what you get. Things did not bode well for Mahogany.
I did an autodrip, because I know people scorn the auto drip, but for consistency in times brewing, it's great, and I don't use filters, so I'm not as complete philistine, assholes. I'm drinking more right now, actually. The scent is strangely dry, like you smell it and say, "yeah, I get the dry part." Like wine. It is rougher in some ways, like I can see non-coffee drinkers not liking it. On the other hand, it doesn't have that bitter edge that a lot of dark roasts seem to get the SHEER SECOND THE GROUNDS SENSE THAT YOU ARE NOT A TTRAINED BARISTA AND REBEL RIGHT IN THE POT. I am serious, I hate dark roasts because while I love the aesthetic kick of that first cup, I am first and foremost a junkie, and I'll drink the whole pot over the course of an hour or two, well after the time when it should be pitched. Dark roasts can sense that. I open the bag and they see my face and they get out their little red white and blue bandannas and ring a rousing chorus of that rebellion song from Les Mis.
So anyway, this coffee is not bitter, but what I was excited about was that OTHER THING. You saw it. "LEATHER FLAVOURS". Who drinks coffee and says, "You know what this needs, Bob? Some leather."
Bob: I'll go get the gimp mask.
ANYWAY, if by "leather flavours" they mean the general sense of rugged…preppy…hipster…uh...cowboy…ness that I get when I smell the coffee and drink it, then yes. Or the way that after about two cups I get a bit of fur in the back of my mouth as if I have been ball gagged for a while, then yes. On the other hand, I might be somewhat relieved, because we all know that Red Bull's brief flirtation with the "Leather Couch of Love" flavour for their new line of energy drinks was a complete disaster.
Yeah, it's got woody notes, and yeah there's dry spice, but not in that North Carolina dry rub way, if you're asking. But what sells this coffee is the nice oil content, that gives it a bit of a smoothness, and the lack of bitter, even after it's been standing for a while. The Brewmaster says that this is coffee for light roast drinkers who want to delve into a dark, and I agree.
Also, I feel like I'm in Masterpiece Theatre when I drink it.
I haven't tried it in the vacuum, but I never do dark roasts in the vacuum. For why, see Marius and Enjolras over there waving that red and black flag on the battlements.
OMG SIDE NOTE: Trader Joe's makes a coffee called "Wintry Blend" that has beans and red and pink peppercorns and cloves and shit in it. YOU CAN ONLY GET IT AROUND THE WINTER HOLIDAYS. GUESS WHO IS DUMB ENOUGH TO ORDER RED AND PINK PEPPERCORNS? THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE.
I shall relay my adventures as soon as I get out of hospital from my tongue amputation.
3. Okay here's the thing-That Torchwood VS. I haven't been saying anything, and that's kind of shit because I wrote an ep with cruentum and it was AWESOME, and Blue wrote and ep, and it was FUCKING AWESOME, and some other people wrote eps that were great, and all, but I didn't rec them all, and it's one of those things where you feel skeevy reccing one over the other. On the other hand, we all have a favorite TW script writer or preferred episodes, so I'll rec this week:
Family Business by misswinterhill because it has Rhiannon and Ianto and Jack and all the fun. IT HAS BRICK THROWING JOHNNY, but they're all done so well.
Here's the thing. I think any instance in which we delve into Jack and Ianto's relationship in fanfic has the potential to go smooshy in an unrealistic way. Miss Thang doesn't do that. There's Ianto background, tension, a fight, all the while the MAIN plot is going on, and it's lovely, too.
I told Miss Thang and Crue, and so I'll say it here. She's got a gift for humor and timing, better than I've seen in a long time. I say it all the time and that makes me a ho, but a lot of people out there try to write humor, and they are "meh". They don't suck, but it's not…it doesn't have that click that comes from understanding timing or, more importantly, when to stop. Some people find a funny line, and yeah it was good, but then they push it further in the dialogue, keep the joke running too long. Miss Thang's good at knowing where that line is.
Thanks, girl.
NEXT WEEK, there will be the powerhouse of blue_fjords and kel_reiley. I've read the first half-it's fantastic. And if you haven't checked out Blue's co written ep Half-Baked, do so. RHYS AND CUPCAKES. Her JJ and his Torchwood training videos completely fleshed out a whole section of TW that I had never thought of before. HAAA.
And in closing:
Like engine-engine number nine
I got the rump-shakin' flavor with the nasty rhyme
So if the crowd can move with me, move with me
Salt-N-Pepa said groove with me, groove with me.
That is all.