pimps down, hos up.
1. Happy Birthday, Lord Byron. I still hate your fucking poetry but want to be your drinking buddy.
2. My kid has discovered the miracle that is Disney Princess SpaghettiOs with meatballs whereas mommy feels like her childhood has been whupped upside the head with a cricket bat.
3. "At the age of 22 Conan applied for a job at Mrs. Fields, but sadly never received a call back," John Lauck, President of Mrs. Fields, tells the Daily News. "We want to officially call you back, and make amends for what we now know was a huge oversight in talent recruitment." OH I LOVE YOU.
BORDERS! I APPLIED FOR A JOB IN 2006! AND 2003! CALL ME! (omg what is wrong with me that you don't want me? Is my hair too natural looking? I CAN CHANGE! MY LIFE FOR YOU! MY LI-WELL NO, BUT-WELL, YEAH, IF YOU ESSENTIALLY CONSIDER THAT I AM OFFERING HOURS OF MY LIFE TO WORK IN YOUR STORE IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY, I LITERALLY AM TRADING MY LIFE FOR MONEY. HIRE ME! I CAN INDEX AND COLOUR CODE, USE A STEP STOOL AND LOOK PRETENTIOUS AND BE ABSENT WHEN CUSTOMERS NEED HELP! I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU.)
4. I started using a new conditioner, and I gotta tell you people, it smells fucking fantastic. I don't know that it's any better or worse than what I was using before, conditioner wise, but it SMELLS GREAT. I HAVE BEEN HUFFING MY HAIR ALL DAY.
5. The following conversation also occurred.
Me: Wanna listen to Dream?
Her: No. Sleep!
Me: You want to go to sleep?
Her: Yeaaaaaah.
Me: You never want to go to sleep. What, are you on crack?
Her: Oh yeah, okay crack.
Me: I wasn't offering.
Then she spent fifteen minutes trying to cram the stuffed giraffe into her ski pants. OH I HAVEN'T SHOWED YOU THE GIRAFFE AND HIS CLOTHING ADVENTURES.
UR DOIN IT RONG:
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG:
OMG WHUT?
TONIGHT, ON THE ALMOST WEARING A MITTEN CHANNEL:
ALMOST…NO:
I CAN HAS SNOW TIEMS NAO?
I also haven't showed you Rody. This will have to wait for another day. Until that time, here:
BEHOLD THE FIRST HALF OF MY BASEMENT:
IT'S LIKE THE TRASH HEAP FROM LABRYNTH:
I'm going in. If you don't hear from me in 48 hours, drink heavily and toast the dead. Say, "Oh aye, that Amand-r, a bonny lass doth…ed she be..uhm, ed. I remember her well Hora-tee-oh! A fellow-ette of infinite jest and uhm, some other crap." Then poison your mom and kill your uncle. I was also going to suggest that you sexually harass your girlfriend, but for some unfathomable reason that seemed worse than the poisoning and the killing. Hrm. THEY ARE ALL BAD.
No, don't do any of that last bit. I DO NOT ADVOCATE VIOLENCE. NOT ON MY BEHALF. But if you like, smack some people in the back of the head when they're dumb? DO THAT IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME, WHICH IS WAY LESS CREEPIER THAN EATING A LOAF OF BREAD AND PRETENDING THAT YOU’RE EATING MY FLESH.
WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU WELSH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES?
Okay, really I'm sane, I swear.
6. opium_and_tea I owe you, and it's partially done! I have showed it to peoples! So, soon, but I need to pause-button today to work some shit out in RL. Muther fuckers.
7. mini-meme: Five Favorite Female Characters, because I ain't putting pics up for you: a) Princess Fucking Leia, b) Vanyel's Aunt Savil in the Last Herald Mage books, c) Gwen Cooper, d) Lt. Anita Van Buren on the Original Law and Order, e) Buffy Summers, BONUS: f) Amy Gardner, from the West Wing (possibly also Nancy Botwin, Mary Louise Marker's character from Weeds)
2. My kid has discovered the miracle that is Disney Princess SpaghettiOs with meatballs whereas mommy feels like her childhood has been whupped upside the head with a cricket bat.
3. "At the age of 22 Conan applied for a job at Mrs. Fields, but sadly never received a call back," John Lauck, President of Mrs. Fields, tells the Daily News. "We want to officially call you back, and make amends for what we now know was a huge oversight in talent recruitment." OH I LOVE YOU.
BORDERS! I APPLIED FOR A JOB IN 2006! AND 2003! CALL ME! (omg what is wrong with me that you don't want me? Is my hair too natural looking? I CAN CHANGE! MY LIFE FOR YOU! MY LI-WELL NO, BUT-WELL, YEAH, IF YOU ESSENTIALLY CONSIDER THAT I AM OFFERING HOURS OF MY LIFE TO WORK IN YOUR STORE IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY, I LITERALLY AM TRADING MY LIFE FOR MONEY. HIRE ME! I CAN INDEX AND COLOUR CODE, USE A STEP STOOL AND LOOK PRETENTIOUS AND BE ABSENT WHEN CUSTOMERS NEED HELP! I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU.)
4. I started using a new conditioner, and I gotta tell you people, it smells fucking fantastic. I don't know that it's any better or worse than what I was using before, conditioner wise, but it SMELLS GREAT. I HAVE BEEN HUFFING MY HAIR ALL DAY.
5. The following conversation also occurred.
Me: Wanna listen to Dream?
Her: No. Sleep!
Me: You want to go to sleep?
Her: Yeaaaaaah.
Me: You never want to go to sleep. What, are you on crack?
Her: Oh yeah, okay crack.
Me: I wasn't offering.
Then she spent fifteen minutes trying to cram the stuffed giraffe into her ski pants. OH I HAVEN'T SHOWED YOU THE GIRAFFE AND HIS CLOTHING ADVENTURES.
UR DOIN IT RONG:
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG:
OMG WHUT?
TONIGHT, ON THE ALMOST WEARING A MITTEN CHANNEL:
ALMOST…NO:
I CAN HAS SNOW TIEMS NAO?
I also haven't showed you Rody. This will have to wait for another day. Until that time, here:
BEHOLD THE FIRST HALF OF MY BASEMENT:
IT'S LIKE THE TRASH HEAP FROM LABRYNTH:
I'm going in. If you don't hear from me in 48 hours, drink heavily and toast the dead. Say, "Oh aye, that Amand-r, a bonny lass doth…ed she be..uhm, ed. I remember her well Hora-tee-oh! A fellow-ette of infinite jest and uhm, some other crap." Then poison your mom and kill your uncle. I was also going to suggest that you sexually harass your girlfriend, but for some unfathomable reason that seemed worse than the poisoning and the killing. Hrm. THEY ARE ALL BAD.
No, don't do any of that last bit. I DO NOT ADVOCATE VIOLENCE. NOT ON MY BEHALF. But if you like, smack some people in the back of the head when they're dumb? DO THAT IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME, WHICH IS WAY LESS CREEPIER THAN EATING A LOAF OF BREAD AND PRETENDING THAT YOU’RE EATING MY FLESH.
WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU WELSH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES?
Okay, really I'm sane, I swear.
6. opium_and_tea I owe you, and it's partially done! I have showed it to peoples! So, soon, but I need to pause-button today to work some shit out in RL. Muther fuckers.
7. mini-meme: Five Favorite Female Characters, because I ain't putting pics up for you: a) Princess Fucking Leia, b) Vanyel's Aunt Savil in the Last Herald Mage books, c) Gwen Cooper, d) Lt. Anita Van Buren on the Original Law and Order, e) Buffy Summers, BONUS: f) Amy Gardner, from the West Wing (possibly also Nancy Botwin, Mary Louise Marker's character from Weeds)