THANK GOD there is room in your suitcase!!! I love how you're backing away from the actual content of said gifts now. Ha! Dude, there's so much to reply to in your post, but Piper's giving me the "take me out now or deal w/ the consequences" look, so I must skedaddle. Congrats on the gold! And huggles to you!
Okay, about the skirt sizes: I wear 10s and 12s for pants, but skirts are near impossible to find at a good fit! They are completely arbitrary. Case in point: I have a size 8 and a size 14, and both are tight in the exact same way. There are tons of size 14 skirts I've tried on that don't fit and it makes me v. sad panda b/c I fucking love skirts. I've had to go w/ a lot of generic "Large" size, and even then, some have to be "Medium" or else they fall off, or "XL" or else they have unsightly bulges and I can't breathe. Don't get me started on the impossibility of finding a dress!! One last note: do you spanx? Some outfits scream out for the spanx.
Spanx = smoothing undergarment thing. As Bridget Jones would say (paraphrasing here), the odds of reaching crucial moment greatly increase when one wears spanx. But then you totes don't want to be at crucial moment and have the spanx revealed. I wear them w/ dresses to make it look like I do not, in fact, have a muffin top/spare tire/what have you. They also make your ass look tight. But it's all a facade! A facade I'm okay w/!
I MAKE THAT FACE ALL THE TIME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT IS.
Srsly, though, do people wear this stuff successfully? Because all those models look like they're think enough already. when you're fat, like me, that shit just rolls up. Or down.
Back fat is unsightly. Make sure the top of the undergarment reaches the bottom of your bra. Try not to wear Spanx with anything that's too body-skimming in the back.
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Yeah, I have tonnes of skirts in varying sizes, but these were NICE ones, and not my normal raggedy hippie peasant thing.
I will solve this issue if it kills me.
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shut up. I can dream.
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http://www.spanx.com/home/index.jsp
They magically smooth everything. It's magic.
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And Ianto-Sam's horrified face as he opens the glittery gift box.
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SPANX!
And Ianto's horrified little face when he sees his prezzie would have to merge into one of those "Oh I love it!" fake smiles you do at Xmas.
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I MAKE THAT FACE ALL THE TIME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT IS.
Srsly, though, do people wear this stuff successfully? Because all those models look like they're think enough already. when you're fat, like me, that shit just rolls up. Or down.
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http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2004280099_spanxtester16.html
"I really couldn't breathe comfortably when I had this one in place."
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So many rules! It's like a deep space suit!
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