It doesn't seem right to sandwich this in with Torchwood jokes and Memes

[amand_r]

cereta is talking about rape and men over in a post, and I read a bunch of the stories about times in which posters could have been hurt by men and weren't, etc. More importantly, it deals with the whole "cookie" aspect of being surprised when men do things that they should do, like take care of a drunk girl without molesting her, and how we seem to

Comments

[luscious_words]

That they believe it's acceptable to touch someone this way or to have to accept being touched this way is such a shame. *sigh* I feel so old because that wasn't done when I was in school.

[amand_r]

Yeah, it wasn't done when I was in school, and that was less than 20 years ago. If it was done, then I never saw or experienced it.

[luscious_words]

If I had a daughter, I'd inform her to speak loudly first and swing a mean hook second. I know if someone did that to me without express permission, I'd be taking a swing at them. (The kinksters I know understand you ask permission first.)

[amand_r]

Well, the problem with that is that the girl will get in trouble too. Violence in school is taken VERY seriously. a great deal of the time, kids that are defending themselves or something of this nature will get a few days of inschool suspension too, because schools will choose to punish everyone. They view it as "erring on the side of caution" since everything becomes a "he said, she said" game. It's really sad.

[blue_fjords]

because I think it's one of those things where everyone has to be proactive. Girls have to stand up for themselves, and boys have to stop treating girls like their personal sex muppets. Teachers have to stop rolling their eyes and saying that this is what happens in schools.

Massive Word. Complacency is tacit agreement. *Everyone* deserves some fucking respect.

On a side note, my friend, who just had a baby girl, was given a packet of girl-baby bibs by someone. A few of the sayings on the bibs? "Li'l Flirt," "Girly Girl" and "Hottie." Needless to say, she's not using those. She gave them to me to make protest art w/, if I ever come up w/ a use for them.

[amand_r]

THAT SHIT DRIVES ME FUCKING CRAZY.

I hate those bibs that stereotype gender. Okay, every once in a while I run across a funny one, like a pink shirt that says something like, "someday I'll demand a pony." Come on. That's pretty funny.

But this sexualization of children? Oh, people, let's recognize that children are not innocent of sensual pleasures without slotting them into sexuality itself in such a manner. Jesus.

[blue_fjords]

Yeah the sexualization of children is something that I paid attention to a lot when I used to babysit, and now that I have 2.5 nieces, I pay attention a lot more. I got the girls tank tops and shorts from gymboree for the next time I see them (they live in a desert), but I originally went to the Filene's Basement by my office and everything was, well, skimpy. Or it had stuff written on it of a similar vein to "hottie." My nieces are cute. They're adorable. They are not hotties. And they certainly do not need to wear a top that I would be embarrassed to wear, if it came in my size. Ugh, my precious babies, I worry about the shit they'll have to deal w/ as they grow up...

[amand_r]

I know. I can only hope that my daughter grows up to be an ass kicker. Because I think she's gonna need it.

[amonitrate]

God, that is horrible. I had no idea - guys weren't doing that when I was in high school, which granted was awhile ago. Holy crap. If someone did that I think I'd start screaming. That... is basically assault, in my book. No, not even basically. It's assault.

And I think this is exactly what that post by cereta was about.

[amand_r]

You and I are the same age, and yeah, I don't remember it. I heard some amazing stories about these kids and why they were up to when I was in the halls and bathrooms, and I must have been a nerd or something, because I don't remember doing ANY of it. But then again, I was too busy cutting myself and reading Sharon Olds to notice.

[amonitrate]

Heh.I'm with you. No, if it was going on it certainly wasn't happening in the classroom, when I was in school. I don't doubt there was skeezy stuff happening, but not to that public level.

[amonitrate]

also, man, that post was only on 13 pages of comments when I read through it! It's kind of amazing.

[amand_r]

It really is. It reminds me of those cookies that someone made. Remember those?

[amonitrate]

yes, those ruled. and looked yummy too. mmm. cooookies. I get hungry every time someone mentions giving guys cookies..

[paragraphs]

I have a son, I have a daughter. Ever since they were little, they knew how I felt about these things, as well as about respect. More than once they heard the 'you will never EVER EVER treat me like I am an idiot, stupid, know nothing, or with disrespect or I WILL SMACK YOUR HINEY FROM HERE TO BEYOND!' I was hard-core, and it has paid off. More than once I've pointed out such unacceptable behavior and said 'see that? that SO will not happen on my watch, you SO will never do that. and if you do? I'll find out. MOM KNOWS ALL!' Sure they'd laugh, but they learned too

[amand_r]

My kids' high school chose to go hard-core a few years ago. Uniforms, color-coded lanyards, etc.

I love dress codes. 1. NO MORE UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE THE CLOTHES. 2. I don't have to stare at cleavage anymore. Srsly, you're 15, but you're in the front row and you're a D cup, and that's a scoop neck. WTF. How did your parents even let you out of the house?

Good for your kids! You done raised them right.

[paragraphs]

*beams* I did. And, gasp, they actually LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!

(I especially love that having the reputation of hard core FAIR has made our house a house of choice. Got my son and 3 of his upstairs, my daughter and two of hers downstairs. Happy house! but, sigh, more than one child has been given an extra key, in case they need it. So many whacked parents--sigh...)

[amand_r]

Yeah, my parents were really fair with us, and I liked to think that we returned that. Our house was the place all our friends wanted to be.