we will sleep on moonlight

[amanay]

I.
they have seen my changes
not my insides- just my outsides
my hair from it's plum black cherry purples
to golden reds to peachish pink to firehydrant red
and back again
they have seen their son change
from a slave to their words
to a free man with his own heart
they have seen me as the devil
in a young woman's pale body
they have seen the oxygen in my green eyes
that I breathe into his fire brown eyes
and they have scorned him and I
so that he turned his back towards them
I am the devil
and smile a sly grin
on top of a pile of lies and deceit

II.
I started showering in a dim light
so I can feel beautiful because in the dimness
I can't see my demons or mistakes
I can turn my back to them and
look into the mirror to see the smooth
curvature of my spine
then there is no need to smile
there is only the need to see my own naked flesh
as perfection in the dark because
in the light I know my
lies shine bright like the morning sun

III.
I call to you but there is no response
I reach for you but where you where there
is only a shard of glass
my hands get cut and I grow weary
while my hands bleed
I call for you again
and you further and further away
you let yourself disappear
no matter how hard I try to find you
you are lost at  sea
and you are drowning on your own sadness