Interview #2.
It's that time again, time to see what's on the minds of Tirion's citizens. Behold Gwindor as he speaks his brains. And boy does he speak them. He speaks them A LOT.
1. What would you place in a personal ad if you made one?
Luckily, I have no need of such distasteful things, having been well-acquainted with the love of my life for ages and ages already. However, if I were to write such a thing, I suppose it would read something like...
"Brilliant, courageous, sensitive, caring, devastatingly handsome, cultured SEM who shits money seeks lovely, devoted, athletically-built, golden-haired nymph for long walks on the beach. Must answer to the name "Faelivrin". No mortals or chubby types, please."
2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Let me tell you a little about love at first sight. It all started when I woke up that morning. Or rather, it all started a little earlier than that, but MY day started when I woke up that morning. Anyway, it was a beauteous spring day. I was drinking my tea and having a second scone for breakfast--and I NEVER eat a second scone for breakfast, believe you me!--when a little bird fluttered down and sat on the windowsill. I believe it was a wren. Or possibly a finch. Do finches sing? This one certainly did. Anyway, after a lovely 13.2 minutes of listening to the lovely bird's song, I crossed my feet under the table and stretched my arms above my head for a moment before scratching my left ear with my left hand. I then refilled my teacup. I take only a splash of milk, mind you... [continues rambling for several dozen pages about the day he met Finduilas]
3. What would you want as your epitaph?
Here lies Brave Gwindor while you stand
Upon the grass of this fair land
He e'er protected with his hand.
So selflessly he gave his grace
To see no evil touch'd this place!
His fair Faelivrin softly weeps
And never with another sleeps.
His legacy's at least for keeps
While his sweet children dance and sing.
All twenty-seven thought him King.
And though it be your wont to mourn
And build a shrine with heart forlorn
Take comfort. Lo! His fëa's borne
To fair reward for one so true
Across the sea--a hero's due!
4. Who's your role model?
What's a role model?
5. What never fails to make you laugh?
Seeing TÚRINTÚRINTÚRIN my enemies TURCOTURCOTURCO in pain and anguish.
6. The world will end tomorrow, so what do you do today?
Spend every last second pleasing my Faelivrin in every way, shape, or position necessary.
7. Democracy or monarchy, which is best?
The monarchies I've lived under were reigns of incompetence nations ruled by wise and just kings. So definitely democracy monarchy.
8. If you could change one moment from your past, what would it be?
Leave. Túrin. to. fend. for. himself. >_<
9. Who's your worst enemy and why?
It used to be Túrin, without a doubt. Now...well, I'm not going to name names. Let's just say it starts with a "C", ends with an "M", and in the middle is "ELEGOR". It has to do with the shameless brainwashing of a lady I know...
10. How did you lose your virginity?
Let me tell you a little about how I lost my virginity. It was a beauteous spring day, and... [see note to question 2]
11. What's the worst/biggest porkie-pie you've ever told?
"Yes, Finduilas. I can accept that."
12. What's your best/worst childhood memory?
My favorite childhood memory is of getting my first present from my ada. A sword, I think it was. My worst childhood memory is of him telling me to use it.
13. How much is a pint of milk?
No, NOT a PINT. Just a splash, I said. And apple butter for my scones. But not too thick, now. Perhaps you'd better just let me do it myself. And never put the cup and saucer to the left of the teapot!! Here, let me show you...
1. What would you place in a personal ad if you made one?
Luckily, I have no need of such distasteful things, having been well-acquainted with the love of my life for ages and ages already. However, if I were to write such a thing, I suppose it would read something like...
"Brilliant, courageous, sensitive, caring, devastatingly handsome, cultured SEM who shits money seeks lovely, devoted, athletically-built, golden-haired nymph for long walks on the beach. Must answer to the name "Faelivrin". No mortals or chubby types, please."
2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Let me tell you a little about love at first sight. It all started when I woke up that morning. Or rather, it all started a little earlier than that, but MY day started when I woke up that morning. Anyway, it was a beauteous spring day. I was drinking my tea and having a second scone for breakfast--and I NEVER eat a second scone for breakfast, believe you me!--when a little bird fluttered down and sat on the windowsill. I believe it was a wren. Or possibly a finch. Do finches sing? This one certainly did. Anyway, after a lovely 13.2 minutes of listening to the lovely bird's song, I crossed my feet under the table and stretched my arms above my head for a moment before scratching my left ear with my left hand. I then refilled my teacup. I take only a splash of milk, mind you... [continues rambling for several dozen pages about the day he met Finduilas]
3. What would you want as your epitaph?
Here lies Brave Gwindor while you stand
Upon the grass of this fair land
He e'er protected with his hand.
So selflessly he gave his grace
To see no evil touch'd this place!
His fair Faelivrin softly weeps
And never with another sleeps.
His legacy's at least for keeps
While his sweet children dance and sing.
All twenty-seven thought him King.
And though it be your wont to mourn
And build a shrine with heart forlorn
Take comfort. Lo! His fëa's borne
To fair reward for one so true
Across the sea--a hero's due!
4. Who's your role model?
What's a role model?
5. What never fails to make you laugh?
Seeing TÚRINTÚRINTÚRIN my enemies TURCOTURCOTURCO in pain and anguish.
6. The world will end tomorrow, so what do you do today?
Spend every last second pleasing my Faelivrin in every way, shape, or position necessary.
7. Democracy or monarchy, which is best?
The monarchies I've lived under were reigns of incompetence nations ruled by wise and just kings. So definitely democracy monarchy.
8. If you could change one moment from your past, what would it be?
Leave. Túrin. to. fend. for. himself. >_<
9. Who's your worst enemy and why?
It used to be Túrin, without a doubt. Now...well, I'm not going to name names. Let's just say it starts with a "C", ends with an "M", and in the middle is "ELEGOR". It has to do with the shameless brainwashing of a lady I know...
10. How did you lose your virginity?
Let me tell you a little about how I lost my virginity. It was a beauteous spring day, and... [see note to question 2]
11. What's the worst/biggest porkie-pie you've ever told?
"Yes, Finduilas. I can accept that."
12. What's your best/worst childhood memory?
My favorite childhood memory is of getting my first present from my ada. A sword, I think it was. My worst childhood memory is of him telling me to use it.
13. How much is a pint of milk?
No, NOT a PINT. Just a splash, I said. And apple butter for my scones. But not too thick, now. Perhaps you'd better just let me do it myself. And never put the cup and saucer to the left of the teapot!! Here, let me show you...