TABLOID! Eheheheheheheh...

[aman_report]

Okay. Which one of you two has been snogging Norman Reedus?

Come on. Own up.

Comments

[bastard_irmo]

*manifests*

*slaps a piece of paper to Pharazon's head*

CERTIFICATE OF HETEROSEXUALITY!

I, Irmo, who's fucking cool beyond words, hereby proclaim one Ar Pharazon to be the most UN-GAY mortal EVER.

[tar_calion]

Um.

Thanks?

[bastard_irmo]

Hey! You're welcome!!! :D :D :D

[tar_calion]

*peels it off his head*

So, do I frame this or something?

[bastard_irmo]

Yep!!!

Annnndd....

I CAN MAKE LITTLE LAMINATED ONES TO STICK IN YOUR WALLET!!! :D :D :D

[tar_calion]

Uh...no thank you, this will do fine. :S

[bastard_irmo]

*manifests a handful and shoves them in the front pocket of your jacket*

JUST in case you change your mind. ;)

[tar_calion]

You realise that having little cards to proclaim your straightness makes people think you're over-compensating?

[bastard_irmo]

...

How often have you been hit on despite insisting you're straight?

Now you have the word and certificate of IRMO to back you up!!!!

[tar_calion]

But...oh never mind.

[bastard_irmo]

Bet yer missus'll be thrilled too! :D

[tar_calion]

I don't think she needs that much convincing actually...

[bastard_irmo]

Silence! MY godly gonads are telling me that this is a marvellous thing I just did for you. REVEL IN MY GLORY!

[tar_calion]

. . .

Your testicles tell you things?

[bastard_irmo]

EACH AND EVERY LAST SPERM PROVIDES ME WITH INSIGHT!

[tar_calion]

*backs away slowly*