Fan account
Last year was very rough but who have it easy anyway. It's all I need to say regarding last year.
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I don't know if there's correlation or not, but I'm very lazy and unmotivated to work when I'm obsessed with my old fandom, namely YYH. I'm kinda scared of how uncaring I was about the time and the state of my working condition. I feel the need to accumulated things I don't normally. Like, figures and cards, even those old CDs. And let's not forget doujins. Damn, Toshimis Arina's they are so old yet so expensive. But my willingness to just buy it and be hell with tabs are what scaring me. I am in the state of obsession for my old, kinda dead, childhood fandom. It sadden me that my old fandom is dead. Yeah that must be what causing me to be these obsessed. No matter what, I shouldn't be in this fandom anymore but here I am. YYH is my true stupid love. It never meant to be revived. The thing is, it's not that I can helped it. Just until last month I was happily playing Idolish7 and buying its doujins. Their song have type of songs that light, cheery, poignant, even a bit hard and I love them. All of sudden, all of sudden, I miss Homework ga Owaranai, and Unbalance na Kiss (remix ver). Then hearing Sayonara Bye Bye again for the first time since forever, seal my fate. I am obsessed again with YYH.
It must have been a fateful day that December, I stumbled across a figure ranking in a website, which number one until five were YYH Artfx J line. I even screenshot it to tease my YYH friends (don't you want to PO them?). We joke a bit about it. Those ranking gave me hope that many fans still there. That not everybody is already moving on. Maybe I'm in a chemical imbalance. But the joke is now on me. It's too late and no use to mull over it. I have two options. Sleeps on it until the aching go away. Which can't happen because the work is not waiting for me. Or accept the longing, accumulates what should have been mine all those childhood and teenage years. Second option is healthier. I just need to watch the limit. Also, since going to community and personal fan accounts hurts, a lot had been abandoned and erased, I will not do it.