(no subject)
There is nothing worse than seeing someone you love suffer. And, when it's self-inflicted suffering in the bad way, it feels even worse. As hard as you may try to reassure them of their magnificence, when someone is just on tilt and self-deprecating and searching out validation for their own poor self image, it's nearly impossible to rationalize with them.
It is SORT of funny, because you're like, "Stop badmouthing my friend, you bitch!" but really, the person badmouthing your friend IS your friend. And, sometimes, as a result, I end up being meaner than I intend. So here's my friend, hurting and sad and clearly questioning elements in her life and needing reassurance, and I'm screaming and annoyed because she is blaming herself.
I accuse her of being overly negative if it confirms some sort of negative self-image she's harboring. She accuses me of being biased because I am her friend. Which of course leaves us at an impasse.
Update: Anonymous self-deprecating friend is CLEARLY wrong. Internet wins again.
Thus I reach out to the safety of the internet to validate me one of the two of us. And I bring you a quick story, and a poll.
Two people are on a forum. They chat on the internet for a week. Their talk during the week is more date-like than hookup-like. They meet at noon on a Sunday and it goes pretty well. They are interested in pursuing further options, so they plan for a follow-up date the next day. They shop for the date the next day. The boy indicates that he'd like to hurry home to maybe fool around. The girl obliges, and is very interested.
They get home and start kissing for about thirty seconds. The boy pulls away, uncomfortable and starts talking about chemistry and how is not unaccustomed to having sex with strangers. The girl is taken aback, and asks him what is wrong and what he would like to do instead, to which he replies "run away." She asks him whether she did something wrong, and he tells her "no" and says that he will probably not be okay with the date the following day. She walks him out.
What happened?
Poll The Disaster Date
It is SORT of funny, because you're like, "Stop badmouthing my friend, you bitch!" but really, the person badmouthing your friend IS your friend. And, sometimes, as a result, I end up being meaner than I intend. So here's my friend, hurting and sad and clearly questioning elements in her life and needing reassurance, and I'm screaming and annoyed because she is blaming herself.
I accuse her of being overly negative if it confirms some sort of negative self-image she's harboring. She accuses me of being biased because I am her friend. Which of course leaves us at an impasse.
Update: Anonymous self-deprecating friend is CLEARLY wrong. Internet wins again.
Thus I reach out to the safety of the internet to validate me one of the two of us. And I bring you a quick story, and a poll.
Two people are on a forum. They chat on the internet for a week. Their talk during the week is more date-like than hookup-like. They meet at noon on a Sunday and it goes pretty well. They are interested in pursuing further options, so they plan for a follow-up date the next day. They shop for the date the next day. The boy indicates that he'd like to hurry home to maybe fool around. The girl obliges, and is very interested.
They get home and start kissing for about thirty seconds. The boy pulls away, uncomfortable and starts talking about chemistry and how is not unaccustomed to having sex with strangers. The girl is taken aback, and asks him what is wrong and what he would like to do instead, to which he replies "run away." She asks him whether she did something wrong, and he tells her "no" and says that he will probably not be okay with the date the following day. She walks him out.
What happened?
Poll The Disaster Date