Uncharacteristic, on all fronts

[amalthya]

I would imagine that many people's characterizations of me include my various travels and foreign exploits. I've been traveling all over the UK this go-round, and having a splendid time.

I finally got to meet faeriecween!! I even stayed in her nice Reading house, and met her boy AND her Boys.

I got to spend more than a minute at a time with woofa, a friend I'

Comments

[redcoat668]

Sanchez
Have you ever been to Scotland Dag?

Dagless
(Pauses… and in a whisper) Once.

Sanchez
What was is like?

Dagless
I remember it much as one recalls a dream… or a nightmare. I was on a budget flight to Norway, when a storm hit and forced us to ditch in Glasgow Prestwick. I was stranded, and it’s so hilly up there you can’t get any signal on your car phone. It looked bad - it looked like I was gonna have to spend the night in Glasgow.

Sanchez
Jesus Christ!

Dagless
The cabin crew suggested we all go out and club it. I had no option; it was that or one of there B&Bs. I figured it’d be safer on the streets. For the first time ever I saw the Scotch in their natural habitat, (Jim looks horrified) and it weren’t pretty. I’d seen them huddling in stations before, being loud but… this time I was surrounded (Liz looks horrified). Everywhere I went it felt like they were watching me; fish-white flesh puckered by the Highland breeze; tight eyes peering out for fresh meat; screechy, booze-soaked voices hollering out for a taxi to take ‘em halfway up the road to the next all-night watering hole (Liz and Jim look more and more shocked). A shatter of glass; a round of applause; a sixteen-year-old mother of three vomiting in an open sewer, bairns looking on, chewing on potato cakes. (Pauses) I ain’t never going back… not never.

Sanchez
My aunt lives in Scotland, she says it’s quite nice.

Dagless
Well she’s wrong.

-Garth Marenghi's "Darkplace"