(no subject)
Damnit. The grad students who I beat out last year came back this year to kick me in the ass. I worked so hard too, and I don't think it's possible that someone could have worked harder this summer... Unless they took less of a break than my 4 day break in July. I also did the Cinci flute symposium, bought a new headjoint, studied intensively with Jill in California for 3 weeks anddd went to NFA! The worst thing about this is that I have NO idea what I did wrong on my audition. Well, that's a lie. I actually do recall cracking one note. But what else could it have been?? I tuned, nailed the technique, and stayed relatively calm. To make things worse, Dr. G emailed us and said our assignment for next week's studio class is to each play all of our audition excerpts. First of all, I'd rather not play those excerpts ever again because just the thought of it is upsetting. Then, even though it won't change the outcome of the auditions, if I do well enough in class Dr. Garner will maybe regret his decision. Or if I screw up, he'll think that I really have gotten worse...? Ahhh this pressure it terrible!! It's only the second day of school and this year already sucks.
Anyway, to help recover from this loss I bought myself a fish. It's a really pretty red Betta fish with a little bit of green shimmer down its side. I named him Sir Ponzio Monroe Fonte, or Ponzie for short. Sometimes I just space out at my desk watching him swim around. He's such an awesome little fish.
I'm also trying to keep busy, hanging out with people/distracting myself so I can stop dwelling.
Anyway, to help recover from this loss I bought myself a fish. It's a really pretty red Betta fish with a little bit of green shimmer down its side. I named him Sir Ponzio Monroe Fonte, or Ponzie for short. Sometimes I just space out at my desk watching him swim around. He's such an awesome little fish.
I'm also trying to keep busy, hanging out with people/distracting myself so I can stop dwelling.