(no subject)
I don't post. Its just a fact. The feeling i get when i read over past postings makes my skin crawl. I mainly use this online community to read and review fiction. Though when i'm feeling a bit froggy i'll type on some soul crushing 'tragedy' thats currently making me listen to greenday (actually I'm feeding depressing music hunger with Bob Dylan)
I degress.
As you may have guessed, i'm working myself up to posting my newest rant but putting down my ranting.
And i wonder why I feel such guilt writing anything.
But no one (outside of a few lost fandom readers) reads this. (im envisioning myself as two separate people trying to talk one another out of/ in to posting. So here we go
Im married happily with a child. (Have been the former 3 years and the latter a bit over 2) And considering my age bracket (18-24) I would have to say that i'm blessed.
That was until i recently had an enlightening conversation with my spouse. I've always wondered why fokes in relationships fear 'messing the whole this up' with simple conversations. If two people are in a functioning partnership, then how can conversing do anything but improve said partnership. Laying out issues in a calm and understanding manner can only strengthen the bond between two persons...right?
...right?
It was brought to my attention that I may be too mature. (shocked) That my spouse wishes that he would have met me 10 years from now, when he could be sure that he had grown enough as a person to (in good faith) begin a marriage. Also that I am more 'in-love' with him than vice versa.
Now don't get my wrong. He believes that 'this is it' for him. He says that he is happy. We have a good life together and his fear is that he will ruin a perfectly good partnership by his inability to curb his 'urge' to sleep with other random people.
To emply that I (a warm blooded woman) do not have the same urges (due to my endless faithfulness) is a bit insulting.
That in itself is a different rant.
Anyway, the whole conversation made me feel like a priest at confession. At the end of it he asked if I was okay. My first reaction is to rant a rave, throw things about, and stamp my feet like my toddler.
I don't, because thats just way uncool dude.
I have to give respect to him for bring these issues to light before something that would warrant a divorce transpired. Its hard to justify angry at honesty.
Im angry though.
Now I feel like the 'dream' relationship has been disenchanted. I feel like Im just living with a roommate. Perhaps its too early to gauge my emotions rationally.
The clincher is that he doesn't feel that anything has changed.
Maybe this is why people are afriad to ruin relationships with simple conversations. Maybe this is an opportunity to end a marriage amicably.
Im really at a loss here
I degress.
As you may have guessed, i'm working myself up to posting my newest rant but putting down my ranting.
And i wonder why I feel such guilt writing anything.
But no one (outside of a few lost fandom readers) reads this. (im envisioning myself as two separate people trying to talk one another out of/ in to posting. So here we go
Im married happily with a child. (Have been the former 3 years and the latter a bit over 2) And considering my age bracket (18-24) I would have to say that i'm blessed.
That was until i recently had an enlightening conversation with my spouse. I've always wondered why fokes in relationships fear 'messing the whole this up' with simple conversations. If two people are in a functioning partnership, then how can conversing do anything but improve said partnership. Laying out issues in a calm and understanding manner can only strengthen the bond between two persons...right?
...right?
It was brought to my attention that I may be too mature. (shocked) That my spouse wishes that he would have met me 10 years from now, when he could be sure that he had grown enough as a person to (in good faith) begin a marriage. Also that I am more 'in-love' with him than vice versa.
Now don't get my wrong. He believes that 'this is it' for him. He says that he is happy. We have a good life together and his fear is that he will ruin a perfectly good partnership by his inability to curb his 'urge' to sleep with other random people.
To emply that I (a warm blooded woman) do not have the same urges (due to my endless faithfulness) is a bit insulting.
That in itself is a different rant.
Anyway, the whole conversation made me feel like a priest at confession. At the end of it he asked if I was okay. My first reaction is to rant a rave, throw things about, and stamp my feet like my toddler.
I don't, because thats just way uncool dude.
I have to give respect to him for bring these issues to light before something that would warrant a divorce transpired. Its hard to justify angry at honesty.
Im angry though.
Now I feel like the 'dream' relationship has been disenchanted. I feel like Im just living with a roommate. Perhaps its too early to gauge my emotions rationally.
The clincher is that he doesn't feel that anything has changed.
Maybe this is why people are afriad to ruin relationships with simple conversations. Maybe this is an opportunity to end a marriage amicably.
Im really at a loss here