(no subject)
i'm done. i give up on life. i can't take a lot of things that have been happening to me lately:
1. my grandma found a "dildo" in my room from like 2 years ago. ha yeah. and i haven't used it. it was still in the box and she freaks out. the sad thing is, i didnt buy it, use it, or even think about using it and now she is all "embarrassed" by me. whatever.
2. i feel frustrated all the damn time. nothing even happens. i just get so pissed at nothing and ill stay that way for days.
3. i'm so lazy. i feel so useless. i guess that is my own fault but its not like it will change over night and i'm too lazy to work at it.
4. i've lost a couple of friends lately because I'VE been careless. uh, right? i'm the one calling you, i'm the one asking if YOU are okay, i'm the one asking you how you've been, i'm the one keeping in touch.
5. i'm depressed. i can't stand waking up in the morning. i can't stand thinking about getting a shower, doing my hair, or wearing make up because like, whats the point? there is nobody to impress and i dont feel like leaving my house because i'm too "depressed" to do so.
6. i never feel hungry. i always feel sick. but force myself to eat because people already think of me as anorexic. ugh.
7. i always feel like i'm on the outside. the entire family like, ignores me. i can ask a question and either nobody will answer or they get up and leave. okay, cool.
8. i think about death a lot. when am i just going to die.
9. i cry in the mirror all the time. everytime i look at myself, i cry because i can't smile. i can't be happy with myself, my looks, my personality, my qualities... im just not happy. i'd rather be someone else.
10. i'm mentally unstable.
i hate life. is it over yet?