a public post

[am_sel]

christopher broke up with me yesterday
but that was like 2 years ago or something but i just remembered today after reading his old journal posts
::sigh:: sad memories
after reading them it makes me want to talk to him like i did when i was "in love" with him but i know its only because i read those older posts and hes not that same person he was then so it wouldnt matter either way when i do try to talk to him it turns out bad
he called me a immature bitch and i called him an asshole and he told me he doesnt give a flying fuck about me anymore so everytime i *think* about talking to him i remember that and decide not to
makes sense
but sometimes i want to talk to him and i'll think he'll be as cheery as he was before but now hes....blah and moody and very distant...well towards me and only says ok and yep and wont tell me anything and basically pushed me waaaaay out of his life so its like why even try
but he was probably my only true best friend i'll give him that but thats about it
oh well
where did this come from....but anyway i know he wont read this anytime soon so its safe to post it