A lack of color (alternate entry titles include; Failure, Alone again, what have I done with my life

[am_brazil]

It's been a long time since I've written anything here or even looked at my journal. I have been away planning my future and reliving my past, neither of which activities has proved altogether pleasing. Yes, it's four in the morning and I'm bitching about my life... you may ask "Andrew, are you off your pills again?" to which I would reply only with a sigh and a sad shake of my head. I don't particularly want a future right now... I mean, fuck! look what I've done so far, do I want to live 50 or 60 more years of a life where all I do is fuck myself over?

*sigh*- my latenight rants are only getting worse...

I haven't said what I came here to say, but the original thought escapes me now...

-Andrew