The Pursuit of Happiness
I know a lot of people will be able to relate to this entry, because pretty much everyone has been in the kind of situation I’m going to describe. Basically, you feel as if you have to or you actually have to make someone else happy, and do what that person or those people want you to do. It’s a situation which we all find ourselves in at some point, because (unfortunately for all young women) life cannot always be about us. At times, we have to think about what is best for those in our care, members of our teams, or members of our families. In moderation, a little forced selflessness isn’t a bad thing-in fact, it can even have a positive effect on us by reminding us of the world outside.
But, when a person tries to set his or her own happiness completely aside in favor of someone else’s wishes for a long period of time, the end result is going to be a catastrophic failure. I hate to deal in inevitabilities, but bar any brainwashing, a person cannot make other people happy for long unless the person himself is happy. I’m not sure why this is. It may be because we as humans are naturally jealous of others’ good fortune, and providing others with that good fortune at the cost of our own is hard to put up with. It may be because misery loves company and eventually our misery inadvertently makes its way into the lives of those we try to please. I think it is because happiness spreads and if you don’t have any to give anyone else, you’re going to fall apart.
Lots of examples come to mind. Anyone who’s applying to college has faced the pressures, and while I feel no overbearing pressure, I know a lot of people do. There’s pressure from parents to apply to certain schools, and most people naturally want to make parents proud. Sometimes parents feel the same pressure to make their kids happy and sacrifice everything for that, or spouses do the same thing, but more often than not, they end up breaking down.
My advice to anyone is not to be hedonistic, but to pursue your own happiness, at least to a moderate extent. I honestly believe that a person cannot be productive and successful if he or she is simply trying to please others. It isn’t selfish to want to be happy when you are not costing anyone else anything. And, people who expect or want you to be miserable so that they can be happy, and are conscious of your misery, are not the people worth pleasing.
Be happy. Everyone (I hope) has been happy as some point, and I think everyone knows how much better life is for you and those around you when happiness is part of the equation.
But, when a person tries to set his or her own happiness completely aside in favor of someone else’s wishes for a long period of time, the end result is going to be a catastrophic failure. I hate to deal in inevitabilities, but bar any brainwashing, a person cannot make other people happy for long unless the person himself is happy. I’m not sure why this is. It may be because we as humans are naturally jealous of others’ good fortune, and providing others with that good fortune at the cost of our own is hard to put up with. It may be because misery loves company and eventually our misery inadvertently makes its way into the lives of those we try to please. I think it is because happiness spreads and if you don’t have any to give anyone else, you’re going to fall apart.
Lots of examples come to mind. Anyone who’s applying to college has faced the pressures, and while I feel no overbearing pressure, I know a lot of people do. There’s pressure from parents to apply to certain schools, and most people naturally want to make parents proud. Sometimes parents feel the same pressure to make their kids happy and sacrifice everything for that, or spouses do the same thing, but more often than not, they end up breaking down.
My advice to anyone is not to be hedonistic, but to pursue your own happiness, at least to a moderate extent. I honestly believe that a person cannot be productive and successful if he or she is simply trying to please others. It isn’t selfish to want to be happy when you are not costing anyone else anything. And, people who expect or want you to be miserable so that they can be happy, and are conscious of your misery, are not the people worth pleasing.
Be happy. Everyone (I hope) has been happy as some point, and I think everyone knows how much better life is for you and those around you when happiness is part of the equation.