Ten Things I Hate
10 Things I hate:
1) The College Board:
This supposedly helpful and studious and wonderful organization is a total scam. They take people’s money, provide services that are unnecessary for a student who’s dedicated enough, and act as a middle man during the time when direct contact is needed. The College Board sets the standards for students-not the colleges, and they have created a business out of these standards with their review books, study guides, online courses, and more. Yet due to their academic nature, they have earned this prestige that is shattered should one go below the surface. For heaven’s sake, Microsoft Word grammar check made me underline college and board. I hate the college board.
2) Individually wrapped candy:
Starburst and Jolly Ranchers are some of the most amazing inventions of all time. However, for an environmentally conscious person such as myself, the wrappers pose a problem. I can’t just throw them on the ground, but I’m far too lazy to find a trash can. I could put them in my pocket, but then when I’m trying to, say, pull my cell phone out of my pocket a starburst wrapper falls out and I look like a slob. The ultimate result? I don’t get to enjoy the little delight inside of the devilish plastic. I hate it when candy is individually wrapped.
3) When people make out with their significant others in public places:
So you’re getting some. The fact that you show up with a girl is clue enough, and if you really needed to stress it, put an arm around her or hold her hand. By no means is it necessary for you to disengage from a conversation when she shows up and proceed to stick your tongue down her throat. I’ll be trying to eat lunch, or walking down the hallway, or walking through the mall, and I can’t help but notice people displaying private affection in a public place. On behalf of everyone who respects decency or has no special someone in their life, please take your locked-door behavior to a locked door. I hate when people start making out in front of me.
*Note* - The whole, “look away if you don’t like it” argument doesn’t work with me. You are sorely outnumbered in this regard, and if you really think that a hundred people should consciously avoid watching two people, you’re pretty selfish.
4) When I am hitting on a girl and someone calls me out on it in that girl’s presence:
I’m talking to a girl, perhaps throwing out some compliments, or just all around being flirtatious, and a person nearby, either involved in the conversation or not involved in the conversation remarks, “Wow, a little flirting going on over here.” Your powers of observation serve you well, young Padawan, but the only thing is, I ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING! There’s a decent chance that the other person did too. So the only thing you accomplish in saying that is making the conversation go from fun and carefree, to awkward and forced. Furthermore, that kind of comment produces a negative cloud over the whole affairs and can even do lasting damage to the future. And with that inane comment, something that was going well is now not going. I hate when people comment on flirtation when both parties are present.
5) The way the guy from “Yo Momma” says “cash money.”
I mean, he’s giving them a thousand dollars-there is no need to pad that with some odd trademark phrase. Matter of fact, for a show that uses catch phrases as a premise, there are a lot of attempts at trademark phrases, such as, “Do YOU have what it takes to represent yo’ hood,” and such. It is almost as if they are attempting to make their show have some kind of memorable moments, but in the end they just seem to be forced. I like the guy, but he really needs to work on his phrases. I hate the way the guy from “Yo Momma” says “cash money.”
6) Choking:
The choking I’m referring to is the kind of choking that occurs on match point in the third set tiebreaker. The things that originally came easily to you become difficult, and you are completely unable to attempt the things that might have been considered difficult in the first place. As a result, the guy you’re playing seems to suddenly become God, hitting winners and completely taking advantage of the fact that you have become passive and a total spectator. Being a person who, in tennis, chokes a whole lot, I have grown to dread those deuce points, and the next point wins rule. Furthermore, it’s a hard thing to get over, considering controlling choking is like taming a lion; this is a funny analogy because the choking process seems to tame the lion once roaring in us. I hate choking, but I keep doing it.
7) When people have music on their Myspaces:
You click on their myspace, with the intent to leave a nice comment or tell them that you consider them a friend, and what are you greeted with? A million decibels of sound, of a song that I probably didn’t want to listen to in the first place, and even if I did, I didn’t want to be so surprised by it that I end up with a heart attack. The very least the people who write these codes could do is allow for a few seconds of delay before the music kicks in. That way, after I hit “post comment” I could scramble and turn the music off, but no, instead, immediately the screaming or distorted guitars or whatever it is kicks in and my ears cry. I hate when people have music on their Myspaces.
8) Eavesdroppers:
I’m trying to have a conversation with somebody. That somebody isn’t you, and there’s a reason for that. So as Deep says, “GTFO!” It’s unbelievably annoying when I’m talking to someone, and then have another person tell me about a conversation I have. The only conclusion is that some listening ears saw fit to broadcast my conversation like a talk show. I believe that eavesdroppers are simply upset about their own lack of conversation so they tune into others. From where I stand, I wish they’d at least have the decency to interrupt their way into the conversation so I know that they are there. Better that than be a little bird in the shadows that takes pleasure in seeing others’ words taken out of context. I hate when people eavesdrop.
9) People who take things too personally:
I crack a lot of jokes about human nature and why people do what they do. More often than not recently I make jokes about the destructive nature of women. Yet, much of the time, I’ll make an ambiguous comment about women or men and some quality that is common to the gender, or some comment about how people always tend to react a certain way, and the person I’m talking to will get mightily offended. At first, I thought people just wanted to stick up for their species, but in fact, it is simply that people think that I’m attacking them. Now, if you see those non-endearing qualities in yourself, I’m sorry, but that’s not my problem nor do I care about it. I just like to generalize. I hate when people take things too personally.
10) Coldstone:
“Hey let’s go to Coldstone!” It would seem that that’s everyone’s favorite phrase, but in fact, there is at least one person, namely me, for whom those words inspire a heavy sigh. Being the nice guy that I am, I’m not about to respond to that phrase with, “Sweet I get to get a soda!” and ruin some excitement. There is absolutely nothing I can consume at Coldstone. Ben and Jerry’s is Niraj friendly, offering not one, but two non-dairy options. Tropical smoothie also attracts customers from both sides. But Coldstone? It chooses to simply target the majority and woo them with delectable offerings and hope that the average person doesn’t notice the discrimination and injustice going on there. Well, I have news for them. People started to notice racism. People started to notice age discrimination. People started to accept homosexuals. This won’t last. I hate Coldstone.
EDIT!!!!***
I owe Coldstone an apology. They do have a non-dairy option, and twice I have consumed it and twice it was delicious. The third time I got sick, but that was my own fault. Coldstone has one non-dairy substitute, and while it is nowhere near the variety other establishments provide, it is a step in the right direction, and it is a reason for me to let go of my hate.
Coldstone, I am sorry.
1) The College Board:
This supposedly helpful and studious and wonderful organization is a total scam. They take people’s money, provide services that are unnecessary for a student who’s dedicated enough, and act as a middle man during the time when direct contact is needed. The College Board sets the standards for students-not the colleges, and they have created a business out of these standards with their review books, study guides, online courses, and more. Yet due to their academic nature, they have earned this prestige that is shattered should one go below the surface. For heaven’s sake, Microsoft Word grammar check made me underline college and board. I hate the college board.
2) Individually wrapped candy:
Starburst and Jolly Ranchers are some of the most amazing inventions of all time. However, for an environmentally conscious person such as myself, the wrappers pose a problem. I can’t just throw them on the ground, but I’m far too lazy to find a trash can. I could put them in my pocket, but then when I’m trying to, say, pull my cell phone out of my pocket a starburst wrapper falls out and I look like a slob. The ultimate result? I don’t get to enjoy the little delight inside of the devilish plastic. I hate it when candy is individually wrapped.
3) When people make out with their significant others in public places:
So you’re getting some. The fact that you show up with a girl is clue enough, and if you really needed to stress it, put an arm around her or hold her hand. By no means is it necessary for you to disengage from a conversation when she shows up and proceed to stick your tongue down her throat. I’ll be trying to eat lunch, or walking down the hallway, or walking through the mall, and I can’t help but notice people displaying private affection in a public place. On behalf of everyone who respects decency or has no special someone in their life, please take your locked-door behavior to a locked door. I hate when people start making out in front of me.
*Note* - The whole, “look away if you don’t like it” argument doesn’t work with me. You are sorely outnumbered in this regard, and if you really think that a hundred people should consciously avoid watching two people, you’re pretty selfish.
4) When I am hitting on a girl and someone calls me out on it in that girl’s presence:
I’m talking to a girl, perhaps throwing out some compliments, or just all around being flirtatious, and a person nearby, either involved in the conversation or not involved in the conversation remarks, “Wow, a little flirting going on over here.” Your powers of observation serve you well, young Padawan, but the only thing is, I ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING! There’s a decent chance that the other person did too. So the only thing you accomplish in saying that is making the conversation go from fun and carefree, to awkward and forced. Furthermore, that kind of comment produces a negative cloud over the whole affairs and can even do lasting damage to the future. And with that inane comment, something that was going well is now not going. I hate when people comment on flirtation when both parties are present.
5) The way the guy from “Yo Momma” says “cash money.”
I mean, he’s giving them a thousand dollars-there is no need to pad that with some odd trademark phrase. Matter of fact, for a show that uses catch phrases as a premise, there are a lot of attempts at trademark phrases, such as, “Do YOU have what it takes to represent yo’ hood,” and such. It is almost as if they are attempting to make their show have some kind of memorable moments, but in the end they just seem to be forced. I like the guy, but he really needs to work on his phrases. I hate the way the guy from “Yo Momma” says “cash money.”
6) Choking:
The choking I’m referring to is the kind of choking that occurs on match point in the third set tiebreaker. The things that originally came easily to you become difficult, and you are completely unable to attempt the things that might have been considered difficult in the first place. As a result, the guy you’re playing seems to suddenly become God, hitting winners and completely taking advantage of the fact that you have become passive and a total spectator. Being a person who, in tennis, chokes a whole lot, I have grown to dread those deuce points, and the next point wins rule. Furthermore, it’s a hard thing to get over, considering controlling choking is like taming a lion; this is a funny analogy because the choking process seems to tame the lion once roaring in us. I hate choking, but I keep doing it.
7) When people have music on their Myspaces:
You click on their myspace, with the intent to leave a nice comment or tell them that you consider them a friend, and what are you greeted with? A million decibels of sound, of a song that I probably didn’t want to listen to in the first place, and even if I did, I didn’t want to be so surprised by it that I end up with a heart attack. The very least the people who write these codes could do is allow for a few seconds of delay before the music kicks in. That way, after I hit “post comment” I could scramble and turn the music off, but no, instead, immediately the screaming or distorted guitars or whatever it is kicks in and my ears cry. I hate when people have music on their Myspaces.
8) Eavesdroppers:
I’m trying to have a conversation with somebody. That somebody isn’t you, and there’s a reason for that. So as Deep says, “GTFO!” It’s unbelievably annoying when I’m talking to someone, and then have another person tell me about a conversation I have. The only conclusion is that some listening ears saw fit to broadcast my conversation like a talk show. I believe that eavesdroppers are simply upset about their own lack of conversation so they tune into others. From where I stand, I wish they’d at least have the decency to interrupt their way into the conversation so I know that they are there. Better that than be a little bird in the shadows that takes pleasure in seeing others’ words taken out of context. I hate when people eavesdrop.
9) People who take things too personally:
I crack a lot of jokes about human nature and why people do what they do. More often than not recently I make jokes about the destructive nature of women. Yet, much of the time, I’ll make an ambiguous comment about women or men and some quality that is common to the gender, or some comment about how people always tend to react a certain way, and the person I’m talking to will get mightily offended. At first, I thought people just wanted to stick up for their species, but in fact, it is simply that people think that I’m attacking them. Now, if you see those non-endearing qualities in yourself, I’m sorry, but that’s not my problem nor do I care about it. I just like to generalize. I hate when people take things too personally.
10) Coldstone:
“Hey let’s go to Coldstone!” It would seem that that’s everyone’s favorite phrase, but in fact, there is at least one person, namely me, for whom those words inspire a heavy sigh. Being the nice guy that I am, I’m not about to respond to that phrase with, “Sweet I get to get a soda!” and ruin some excitement. There is absolutely nothing I can consume at Coldstone. Ben and Jerry’s is Niraj friendly, offering not one, but two non-dairy options. Tropical smoothie also attracts customers from both sides. But Coldstone? It chooses to simply target the majority and woo them with delectable offerings and hope that the average person doesn’t notice the discrimination and injustice going on there. Well, I have news for them. People started to notice racism. People started to notice age discrimination. People started to accept homosexuals. This won’t last. I hate Coldstone.
EDIT!!!!***
I owe Coldstone an apology. They do have a non-dairy option, and twice I have consumed it and twice it was delicious. The third time I got sick, but that was my own fault. Coldstone has one non-dairy substitute, and while it is nowhere near the variety other establishments provide, it is a step in the right direction, and it is a reason for me to let go of my hate.
Coldstone, I am sorry.