howdy, is this niraj? this seems to be niraj. this is calum, you may remember me from a while back, i wandered across your electronic journal once before and now tonight whilst waiting for the SAT thing to unblock me for guessing my password too often.
i quite enjoy some fo your ideas youve posted here, and this especially caught my fancy because i was sort of wondering about this sort of thin earlier today on the bus. it has occured to me that perhaps meaning in a life is a deciding factor in the amount of happiness a person feels- a sense of worth, the need to be needed, something like this, and it made sense and i accepted this idea as worthy of mental note. but recently and certainly many times before i have felt devoid of cause or meaning, although i retained my ideals and beliefs. (..at least i retained the more basic ideals, i dont know about all of them, i suppose in my distress i may have empathised a bit, but for the most part.. is empathised a word?) anyway i guess what im getting at is that i tend to lose sight of my causes or lose faith in what i had thought i believed in, only to decide i was comletely off and am foolishly wandering from each thought to another and wholeheartedly believing in each one and then completely abandoning it for another idea .but then again i read some quote that basically said stand up for whatsoever you believe in at any particular moment regardless of what you have stood for and what you may stand for. something about believe each day what you do, and dont .yeou know, so that was interesting i guess. uhhh so sos so so, ,, so anyway, to kindof wrap this up, today i was thinkgin about how i really believe in soemthine even though i dont know why ibelieve in it, i mean, i want to do these things, but then i realize i dont really care so much abuot the results i would supposedly want to ..result from my desired actions, but really i just care more for the actions themselves.. you know? for instance, i feel strongly about telling the general public whats really going on in the world, at the very least in their own country, and really try to make things a little better for more people, but then, i dont know if im just overwhelmed or offset by the small chance that anything i attempt will make the slightest tremor of a difference, or if i just dont know why i should care abuot people who dont seem to want to know or even care that they are voting criminals into their government or murdering innocent humans in distant places, or upsetting the natural order of the world and so on and so forth, i mean , most americans think that ronald reagan was a GOOD person (an american hero?), !, seriously. its rough. but anyway, you catch my drift im sure, .
(this is pretty lengthy, i apologize if necessary)
its a two parterr
anonymous
April 25 2006, 04:37:20 UTC
the other thing i really put a lot into is music, and this passion is really more undefinable or spirtual or what have you, but still sometimes i have to wonder if music is everything i live to love about it, and love to live for it, if that makes any sense, but again i reckon this could just be the overwhelming amount of musicians and music being created ..everywhere, all the time, that is getting to me. so its crazy, but anyway i still hold on to music, and the idea that i might be able to somehow do something worth doing with music, which i guess would mean saying something at least somewhat new with music, i havent quite figured out whether i would have to do smoething 'genius'or would be perfectly content with just good honest music, genius or not. so thats another thing.
and also, i feel compelled to say that i think that some people are just right for their part in the world. certainly, many are not, and are feeling very very bad about it, but i do think and maybe even hope, for their sakes, that some people are fulfilled by their lives, no matter how routine and seemingly, as you said, pointless, they appear to be. i realise here that i am using a lot of commas, and i do apologize. i havent wrapped this up either. this might be pretty spastic when read straight through. sorry about that too. ehhhh right, so its probably safe to say this idea has been well established by eastern thuoght, or good old american work ethic, and all this, but i just said it again. so, yeup. and they probably said it better.
i think thats abuot all i can remember from what came to mind upon reading your thoughts here. to try to tie this all together, i would say that generally, in my experience, i tend to go with my gut about what i want to stand for. so thats a pretty original idea. pretty obscure thinking there. poop. i dont know where i was going with this. theres some thoughts to pick at all the same. thanks, calum
also! you guys sounded pretty good, the jazz combo i mean at cape henry's jazz competition thing, that is, if this is really niraj patel, and i think it is, isnt it? if you ever want to play some sort of music, i would be more than happy to do so. really, too. i grow increasingly interested in "jazz", to put it poorly, and any opportunity to try anything .. jazz oriented or not, i am terribly interested.. in anything. if you ever feel so motivated just send word through the grapevine(like, tell lee or something)and we could play music. i dunno. but there you have it! see yuh
Re: its a two parterram4z1ngApril 26 2006, 01:27:39 UTC
Hey Calum, thanks for your comment, and this is Niraj's LJ.
I really enjoyed your comment--you mentioned a lot of things about the times when you're not totally secure in your causes, and you have to decide whether to stick with them or not. I think doubt and insecurity is something that everyone experiences, and I don't think that demeans your beliefs or causes in any way.
As for the music side, I have been having trouble getting a bass player who can handle playing jazz--not a lot of people have experience with the style and drive to play it at the same time, so I'd definitely be interested. Over the summer, I'm planning on hosting a jam session or two at my house--I have drums and a piano so that could be fun. I'll let you know.
this is calum, you may remember me from a while back, i wandered across your electronic journal once before and now tonight whilst waiting for the SAT thing to unblock me for guessing my password too often.
i quite enjoy some fo your ideas youve posted here, and this especially caught my fancy because i was sort of wondering about this sort of thin earlier today on the bus. it has occured to me that perhaps meaning in a life is a deciding factor in the amount of happiness a person feels- a sense of worth, the need to be needed, something like this, and it made sense and i accepted this idea as worthy of mental note. but recently and certainly many times before i have felt devoid of cause or meaning, although i retained my ideals and beliefs. (..at least i retained the more basic ideals, i dont know about all of them, i suppose in my distress i may have empathised a bit, but for the most part.. is empathised a word?) anyway i guess what im getting at is that i tend to lose sight of my causes or lose faith in what i had thought i believed in, only to decide i was comletely off and am foolishly wandering from each thought to another and wholeheartedly believing in each one and then completely abandoning it for another idea .but then again i read some quote that basically said stand up for whatsoever you believe in at any particular moment regardless of what you have stood for and what you may stand for. something about believe each day what you do, and dont .yeou know, so that was interesting i guess. uhhh so sos so so, ,,
so anyway, to kindof wrap this up, today i was thinkgin about how i really believe in soemthine even though i dont know why ibelieve in it, i mean, i want to do these things, but then i realize i dont really care so much abuot the results i would supposedly want to ..result from my desired actions, but really i just care more for the actions themselves.. you know? for instance, i feel strongly about telling the general public whats really going on in the world, at the very least in their own country, and really try to make things a little better for more people, but then, i dont know if im just overwhelmed or offset by the small chance that anything i attempt will make the slightest tremor of a difference, or if i just dont know why i should care abuot people who dont seem to want to know or even care that they are voting criminals into their government or murdering innocent humans in distant places, or upsetting the natural order of the world and so on and so forth, i mean , most americans think that ronald reagan was a GOOD person (an american hero?), !, seriously. its rough. but anyway, you catch my drift im sure, .
(this is pretty lengthy, i apologize if necessary)
Reply
and also, i feel compelled to say that i think that some people are just right for their part in the world. certainly, many are not, and are feeling very very bad about it, but i do think and maybe even hope, for their sakes, that some people are fulfilled by their lives, no matter how routine and seemingly, as you said, pointless, they appear to be. i realise here that i am using a lot of commas, and i do apologize. i havent wrapped this up either. this might be pretty spastic when read straight through. sorry about that too. ehhhh
right, so its probably safe to say this idea has been well established by eastern thuoght, or good old american work ethic, and all this, but i just said it again. so, yeup. and they probably said it better.
i think thats abuot all i can remember from what came to mind upon reading your thoughts here. to try to tie this all together, i would say that generally, in my experience, i tend to go with my gut about what i want to stand for. so thats a pretty original idea. pretty obscure thinking there. poop. i dont know where i was going with this. theres some thoughts to pick at all the same.
thanks, calum
also! you guys sounded pretty good, the jazz combo i mean at cape henry's jazz competition thing, that is, if this is really niraj patel, and i think it is, isnt it? if you ever want to play some sort of music, i would be more than happy to do so. really, too. i grow increasingly interested in "jazz", to put it poorly, and any opportunity to try anything .. jazz oriented or not, i am terribly interested.. in anything. if you ever feel so motivated just send word through the grapevine(like, tell lee or something)and we could play music. i dunno. but there you have it! see yuh
Reply
haha
sorry, it was botherning me
calum
Reply
I really enjoyed your comment--you mentioned a lot of things about the times when you're not totally secure in your causes, and you have to decide whether to stick with them or not. I think doubt and insecurity is something that everyone experiences, and I don't think that demeans your beliefs or causes in any way.
As for the music side, I have been having trouble getting a bass player who can handle playing jazz--not a lot of people have experience with the style and drive to play it at the same time, so I'd definitely be interested. Over the summer, I'm planning on hosting a jam session or two at my house--I have drums and a piano so that could be fun. I'll let you know.
Again, thanks for your comment.
-Niraj
Reply
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