Advice
Often enough, people come to me and ask me for advice. Sometimes it’s because I can relate to them, sometimes it’s because we’re close friends, and sometimes the person just needs someone to talk to and I happen to be handy, but whatever the reason, people pose questions to me about their lives or about a certain situation, and I try to help them. To be honest, I enjoy it when people come to me for advice-not because it makes me feel empowered, but because by listening to their situation, and by hearing about their mindset and their options, it is almost as if I get to share that experience. To be sure, I don’t gain as much as the person actually going through the event does, but in a small way, it helps me learn a little bit more about the world, and I appreciate that.
I’ve been approached about a lot of different things, ranging from friend problems to family problems, and lots of things in between. Obviously, giving advice is not that easy. The advisor has to try to be impartial, and guide the person in the direction that may not be the easiest, but is the most beneficial. Many times, the advice I give isn’t what people want to hear, and I know all of you who read this, having helped a friend at some point, know that that can strain the situation even more. Furthermore, anyone offering advice has to worry about giving the wrong advice, or bad advice. I think a fear of receiving bad advice is part of the reason some people ignore it or don’t ask for it. People giving advice have to choose their words very carefully.
What really sparked this entry, though, was something that I realized about myself. I rarely go to people for advice. Once in a while, I’ll pose a question to somebody, and that’ll be it-one question, one answer, and I’ll try to handle it myself. Recently I started to wonder whether that’s a problem. I mean, sure, I’ll take advice from a college counselor, or something to that effect, but in my personal life I rarely approach others about my concerns.
I couldn’t tell you why. In no way am I lacking good advisors-there are a lot of people I surround myself with who are insightful, intelligent, and experienced, and would be glad to help me out if I asked. It’s just that opening up about my problems and seeking outside opinions is not something I’m used to. It’s slightly hypocritical of me, because I encourage other people to get all the information they can and seek help when they think they need it, but I don’t really do that. In thinking about, the only reason for my hesitance is that I can usually convince myself that I don’t need advice.
Of course, that’s completely wrong. Even if you have something under control, it doesn’t hurt to get another’s opinion on it. Maybe their idea will make some sense and you’ll find a way out that was easier than you had initially thought. Worst comes to worst, their advice won’t work or isn’t very good, and you can ignore it. I’m not suggesting that you overload yourself with advice from all different types of people, but sometimes a carefully chosen second opinion can do wonders.
So that’s my resolution from here on out. I hold a lot of stuff inside, figuring that it isn’t important or it isn’t a big deal, but in reality I don’t think it would be a bad thing to once in awhile have someone else make a suggestion. I know it’s probably going to be hard for me to go to other people, and listen to them, initially, but I think that once I feel like I have that option, I’ll end up making some better choices and feel more comfortable with the decision that I make.
I’ve been approached about a lot of different things, ranging from friend problems to family problems, and lots of things in between. Obviously, giving advice is not that easy. The advisor has to try to be impartial, and guide the person in the direction that may not be the easiest, but is the most beneficial. Many times, the advice I give isn’t what people want to hear, and I know all of you who read this, having helped a friend at some point, know that that can strain the situation even more. Furthermore, anyone offering advice has to worry about giving the wrong advice, or bad advice. I think a fear of receiving bad advice is part of the reason some people ignore it or don’t ask for it. People giving advice have to choose their words very carefully.
What really sparked this entry, though, was something that I realized about myself. I rarely go to people for advice. Once in a while, I’ll pose a question to somebody, and that’ll be it-one question, one answer, and I’ll try to handle it myself. Recently I started to wonder whether that’s a problem. I mean, sure, I’ll take advice from a college counselor, or something to that effect, but in my personal life I rarely approach others about my concerns.
I couldn’t tell you why. In no way am I lacking good advisors-there are a lot of people I surround myself with who are insightful, intelligent, and experienced, and would be glad to help me out if I asked. It’s just that opening up about my problems and seeking outside opinions is not something I’m used to. It’s slightly hypocritical of me, because I encourage other people to get all the information they can and seek help when they think they need it, but I don’t really do that. In thinking about, the only reason for my hesitance is that I can usually convince myself that I don’t need advice.
Of course, that’s completely wrong. Even if you have something under control, it doesn’t hurt to get another’s opinion on it. Maybe their idea will make some sense and you’ll find a way out that was easier than you had initially thought. Worst comes to worst, their advice won’t work or isn’t very good, and you can ignore it. I’m not suggesting that you overload yourself with advice from all different types of people, but sometimes a carefully chosen second opinion can do wonders.
So that’s my resolution from here on out. I hold a lot of stuff inside, figuring that it isn’t important or it isn’t a big deal, but in reality I don’t think it would be a bad thing to once in awhile have someone else make a suggestion. I know it’s probably going to be hard for me to go to other people, and listen to them, initially, but I think that once I feel like I have that option, I’ll end up making some better choices and feel more comfortable with the decision that I make.