My Love Life?
This post is going to be sort of different from the others, in that usually where I have a life experience and talk about what I learned from it, this time I have no plant to show from the seed I stuck in the ground. I’m not saying I didn’t get anything from this experience, but I’m wondering where to go from here. Also, this entry is not based
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Now, that I am done patting myself on the back, it is time to actually comment on the issue at hand. I feel like you and I are in the same place. In my more immature years, Middle School, I would have to say that I wasn't too keen on having girls as friends. It wasn't that I didn't want them to be my friends but it just never worked out that way. High school truly changed my perspective and I have lots of friends who are girls and I cherish our friendship a lot. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Sure, I am a social guy but my love life is a TOTALLY different story. Its like when you see a wet paint sign. You know that the paint IS wet and you SHOULDN'T touch it but you do it anyway. Then you sit there like 'Why in the blue hell did I touch the wall when a sign was there?' I have a knack for wanting to mess up a good thing. You could read my LJ and the subsequent comments and see that. Its ridiculous. I just recently learned that restraint that you have. I'm just as picky but I'm seem to take more stupid risks.
Concerning why, I would have to say that no matter how hard we try, you can't escape having feelings for somebody. You can hide those feelings, suppress them and try to get rid of them but they will still be there. Its up to you to make the final decision. There are two ways to handle it:
Option A: Go for it and take the chance of messing up whatever platonic relationship you had or starting a new chapter in your relationship.
OR
Option B: Keep your feelings hidden and hope they go away and keep the friendship that you have.
I know that usually I take Option A, but I am going to try to do Option B in the future. I've been practicing. BELIEVE ME. You can wait; there is no shame in that. I think that might be the more honorable thing to do in the situation. However, sometimes you just can't help wondering 'What if..' and I think that is what separates me from Niraj. I succumb to wanting to see 'What if' and he has the willpower to not care or he might just be psychic. Its disheartening to have to either get rid of strong feelings or feel rejection but either way that is not the last female on the earth. That's what you have to remember. There will be more opportunities. Life is a series of opportunities that we either disregard or take advantage of. Keep waiting, keep looking and keep your head up. She's out there somewhere. One for both of us. Might just be in places you never thought to look or just haven't arrived at yet but they are there.
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