Arashi Tells a Love Story - Ohmiya
“ARASHI
TELLS A LOVE STORY”
By: Ami
An Ohmiya Fanfiction
Standard disclaimers apply.
Author’s note: crack with a dash of romance (and Death Note) :D
XXX
Kitagawa Johnny calmly picked up the ridiculously expensive cup of green tea, giving the congressman a smirk before taking a sip.
“I believe we have a deal?”
“Absolutely, Kitagawa-san,” the semi-bald middle-aged man smiled nervously and rubbed his forehead for the nth time with the damp handkerchief. What a waste of a perfectly good Armani, Johnny thought wryly.
“This young man indeed looks promising,” the congressman continued, reaching out to take a closer look at the picture of Ninomiya Kazunari, half-body shoot during Gantz, looking manly, luscious and so very handsome. “He will bring a new light to Japan’s government.”
“He will,” Johnny snorted proudly, “He is the best talent in our jimusho after all.”
“I can perfectly understand why you would want to put this wonderful young man as the first pillar in your political involvement,” the congressman gave the photo another adoring gaze, “He is so handsome, very smart, very popular, very talented…”
“Smarter than the newscaster.”
“Nicer than the zookeeper.”
“More handsome than the HanaDan actor… what’s his name again?”
Johnny shrugged, “Who knows? Matsu-something. I don’t have time to learn all their names. I only remember the really good ones.”
“This Ninomiya Kazunari, I believe he will eventually be the prime minister, if he puts his mind on it.”
“That’s what I told him, repeatedly,” Johnny pulled out his cigar box and intentionally ignored the congressman’s wandering eyes as he took one out and lighted it up. “This very, very, very wonderful young man, he---“
XXX
“God damn it Nino.” Sho made a face, “You were the one who told us you wanted to confess about your ‘special’ relationship with Leader and we ended up with Johnny-san and a politician---anyway how did we get to this part? Does anyone remember?”
“He was saying something about his conspiracy theory, something about Johnny Jimusho aiming to conquer Japan,” Aiba took one large piece of the remaining potato chips laid out on the table and crunched on it noisily. “Leader! Do you want more coconut water?”
Ohno’s head surfaced from the swimming pool’s deep water section, as he waved his hands to Aiba energetically, obviously not hearing the younger man’s question earlier.
Aiba stood up and prepared himself to shout, as Jun grabbed his hand and pulled him back down, “He will not continue until he is sure we’re all listening.” The youngest member gestured to the smirking magician-wannabe, “Let’s just let him speak and get this over with.”
“Well, well, Jun-chan, you’re obviously curious, aren’t ya,” Nino crossed his arms self-satisifiedly, “About how Leader and I got together and had fantastic sex every time we could manage to---“
“The confession, Nino! The confession!” Sho shrieked, before they got to the fantastic part, “Just the confession, okay?! We’re all curious so please, continue.”
“Oh, Sho-chan, I was just kidding! Of course I will happily tell you, you don’t have to beg!” Nino laughed heartily as he repositioned his oversized straw hat (which he didn’t need as they were in an indoor pool, but he used it anyway because it matched his red shirt) . Everyone knew that when Nino seemed like he overdosed on sugar, it meant that Ohno did something particularly good the night before. Or an hour before. Nobody could pinpoint it for sure, really, as Ohno always looked sleepy, with or without sexing Nino all night long. “I am even more than willing to share our glorious sex life!”
“Nino you’re such an animal!” Ohno, who obviously heard that last part, cheered from where he was lazily floating on the water, “Stop telling people about what we do in bed at night!”
Aiba patted Sho on the shoulder, who looked more and more traumatized by the minute. The older man was kind of cute, like the spotted hyena he had encountered in the last TSD shooting.
“We sleep there too, you cute little pert ass!” Nino retorted playfully.
“Good grief, now he has stopped addressing any other parts but his most favorite one,” Jun massaged his crinkling frown.
“You know, looking at how many times he referred to that part, it’s a wonder if someone ever believes those rumors about his sex scandals, with GIRLS.” Sho added, amused, “God knows Nino has enough G-factors to fill both his and Satoshi-kun’s jars.”
“Are you saying that I made Oh-chan gay?”
“I’m saying that you don’t sleep with girls.”
“Are you implying that I’m the bottom?”
“…Aiba, rub my back. Suddenly I feel stiff.”
“That sounds so dirty Sho-chan!” Aiba laughed, but moved forward to do so anyway.
Jun suddenly stood up, revealing the daisy patterns on his blue trunks.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“We’re never getting to that confession part anyway,” the youngest member glared at the Iwojima actor, who immedialy looked flustered.
“Fine! Fine! We’re there, we’re there already!”
XXX
Nino took a deep breath as he passed through the thorny bushes. His perfect hair was a tad messy after his brave endevour of entering his family’s biggest archenemy’s residence.
(Aiba: “If you’re really brave then you should have entered through the front door instead of sneaking around.”)
(Nino: *continued the story, pitch a tad higher and voice a tad louder*)
Now that he had arrived at the after-mentioned window, the one with a pot of cactus named Maguro, he wasted no time and threw the smallest pebble he could find nearby to the glass window.
(*insert breaking glass sound effects here*)
“Goddamn it Nino,” said a sleepy voice from inside, before a sleepy man (but still very sexy even with a bit of drool on the side of his mouth) with pink pajama bottom stuck his head out of the window, “That can’t be the smallest pebble you could find.”
“You bet it is. I tested it last time I waited here in cold for you. You wouldn’t wake up with something smaller.”
“Point taken,” the man yawned and scratched his perfectly toned stomach lazily, “So, what is it? You know I’m only asking because you can’t get up here.”
“You only like me for the sex?!” Nino mock-cried.
“Well, you give it good, for a bratty guy with underage face---Oww! That can’t be the smallest pebble you could find!“
XXX
“I should have known…” Sho laid his back on the beach chair and sighed, “He wouldn’t have told us easily.”
“Ohh! But it’s so thrilling!” Aiba cheered excitedly, “What happens next, Nino?! What happens next?”
“I’ll lend you the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ DVD later, Aiba-chan, now Nino,” Jun crossed his arms, positively irate, “You told us you’d ‘come out’ and this is what we get? A series of nonsense?”
“Hey! That last part about the underage thing is definitely real!” Nino digressed, “Oh-chan! You tell them!”
Ohno floated away from his friends peacefully. If Nino felt the need to share their glorious nightly encounters to their friends, he wouldn’t stop the younger man, but he’d be damned to assist him while doing so.
“You’re such an unfaithful wife!” Nino spat and threw his hands up in frustration, “He’s lucky he’s pretty.”
“This is so confusingly endearing and confusing on so many levels,” Sho sighed in relief as Aiba rubbed on one particularly stubborn knot, “Ah… yes… that’s it… that part, Aiba-chan… ohhh…”
“GOD,” Jun shrieked, “All I’m asking is one, one measly wish to have at least one other person sane in this group, and now you have to cross over to the other side, Sho-kun?!”
“Ah,” Nino suddenly brightened up, “Speaking of jealous and very unhappy lonely man---“
“---am not!”
“Come on, Matsujun, the first steps towards enlightment is to admit that you’re lost in the dark!” Nino conveniently looked at anywhere but the fuming youngest member’s eyes, while dramatically spreading his arms towards nothing in particular, “I was once in your place too! Lost! Scared! Lonely! And then I met that perfectly round butt and my world opens up like a clear sky after the rain!”
Jun bumped on a bartender and knocked four glasses of margarita down on his way to the restroom, because no proper responsible citizen would throw up on someone else’s floor no matter how disgusting that someone’s story was.
“Anyway, speaking of an unhappy and lonely man,” Nino picked up the only standing glass on the bartender’s tray calmly and took a sip, “Should I continue this love story about how Oh-chan and I got together?”
“I’d like to hear more!” Aiba cheerfully replied, while Sho just shrugged lazily. As long Aiba kept doing what he was doing, he’d listen even when Nino decided to open up a phonebook and read it out aloud. Sho’s sloping shoulders slumped just a bit more when Nino started the story with,
“So this is what happened after I found the Death Note lying on the ground…”
XXX
“You did WHAT?!”
“Yea… I did it…” Nino smirked as he held the black book up for the God of Death to see, “I’ve been punishing bad guys. I wrote their names in this and they fell like flies!”
“Aw, damn,” Shinigami Satoshi scratched the back of his head sleepily, “I should have kept it in my bag all the time, like mama said.”
“I’ve always been called a nerd at school, people are jealous of my genius and good looks that they either ignore me or bully me, but not anymore after this,” Nino laughed maniacally the proper villain way, “I SHALL BE THE KING OF THE WORLD! OH YES I OWN YOU YOU MEAGER MORTALS---“
The television was magically turned on.
“Oh sorry, I sat on this,” Shinigami Satoshi casually tossed the remote away from under his perky butt before lying down on Nino’s bed comfortably, taking interest in one of Nino’s manga.
“Kira, if you happen to see this… I’m sure you’re watching right now,” said Sakurai Sho, the man on the screen. Not that Nino knew him. He clearly wanted to let his name be known, as he placed a big-ass nametag in front of him written in big block font.
“My name is Sakurai Sho. SA-KU-RA-I SHO, you can see how to write the kanji over here,” the apparently suicidal man gestured to the aftermentioned big-ass nameplate, “In other words, as you can probably guess, I am the mysterious, enigmatic, sweet-toothed infamous great detective who happens to be pursuing you right now. I am S.”
“What the hell,” Nino picked on his ear.
“You might think that you are winning right now. Your method of killing is a mystery, everyone is afraid of you and the police is desperate enough to call for my, this great detective’s help.” Sho continued with his most menacing tone, “But no matter of much of a worthless scum a criminal is, you have no right to kill the lowlife. They aren’t supposed to die in your hands, those sick twisted bastards!”
“Yeah, I suppose they are quite sick and twisted,” Nino nodded approvingly, “Hey what’s your name again?”
“I’m Satoshi,” the Shinigami replied absently, the 7th volume of ‘Hana Yori Dango’ in his hand.
“The others will have to call me God, but you can call me Nino,” the evil genius smirked as he crept over the Shinigami, with a smile as wide as one belonged a lion which had successfully cornered an injured deer. “You are quite good-looking for a Shinigami. I thought they’re supposed to be really big, tall, wears leather jacket with lots of feathers around the collar?”
“Oh I’m supposed to wear it but mom said it didn’t suit me, so she bought me this yellow t-shirt, jeans and white sneakers instead.”
“Well she has a good taste. Not that I would pass on you if you happen to wear those.”
“What you are doing is just murder! You are no different than them!” Sho screamed to the camera, as Nino intently stared at the Shinigami’s pert little ass. “AREN’T YOU MAD AT ME KIRA?! KILL MEEE!! KILL MEEE!”
The television was magically turned off.
“Oh, sorry, I---uhmmmmm---oh--ohhh---Nino---don’----“
XXX
“Sho-chan! Why would you want to die?!” Aiba screamed, scandalized.
“I was away for 10 minutes and you remade Death Note?” Jun casually made his entrance, handsome and refreshed. “Come on, Nino. I thought you were more original than that. So far all you’ve been doing to copying others’ stories.”
“No, no, Aiba, I don’t intend to die anytime soon---“
“DID YOU MEAN YOU EVENTUALLY WILL WANT TO DIE?!”
“No----I mean---yes---but----“
“Oh, so you think I’m not being original,” Nino stepped forward, ignoring Sho who was having an armful of crying Aiba, “Or you were just saying that so I would run out of ideas and just tell the truth? In the end you’re the most curious one, aren’t you, Mattchan.”
“No, I’m not. And don’t call me that.”
“If you think you can be more original than me, why don’t you make up your own story?”
Nino immediately noticed that glint in Jun’s eyes which usually spelled ‘You know I won’t lose and in a moment I will show you exactly that’.
Or just plain ‘trouble’ in short.
“I will make up a story about how you and Ohno-kun got together,” Jun announced. Aiba immediately stopped suffocating Sho and sat with a formal pose on the colorful pool bench.
“Jun-kun will do what?” Ohno called from where he was swimming like the tuna he craved to catch.
“Remember a few years ago? We just finished shooting ‘Saigo no Yakusoku’ and it had been a while since we worked together so we decided to have dinner, and Aiba started yapping about the difference of friendship and love.”
“I did!” Aiba raised his hand with a proud smile.
“Everyone ignored him because we thought he was talking about Sho-kun, but Ohno-kun suddenly responded to him seriously and the rest of us were baffled. He talked like, 10 times the usual talking quota,” Jun smirked at Nino, who was starting to look anxious. “You see, I get the general idea. I might just come up with the real story.”
Nino scowled and sat back down, crossing his legs.
XXX
“I really think that a best friend, a true one, can also be the best lover,” Ohno for once, did not look sleepy at the slightest bit even after the long hours of their shootings. “Basically, a lover is someone you’d want to accompany you for the rest of your life, right? It has to be someone who understands you, tolerates you, comfortable around you, and accepts you the way you are. A best friend practically covers it all.”
“I think so too, Riida!” Aiba responded vigorously, “Sho-chan you heard that?!”
Sho took one particularly large meat strip and dipped it in his broth. “Aiba, you’re not even drunk so please stop hitting on me.”
XXX
“Sho-chan was really cool when he said that, huh,” Aiba started giggling.
“See, Sho-kun,” Jun shrugged at the Keio graduate, “You were worried for nothing. He wasn’t offended at all.”
“Sho-chan worried about me?”
Sho lowered his head slightly to hide the blush spreading in his face.
XXX
”I guess that means you and I can make a pretty hot couple, huh,” Nino laughed, but not in his usual loud-joking way. If anything, he seemed a tad nervous.
Ohno gave him a brief look before returning his attention to his glass, “I guess.”
Jun was about to make a reach for the soy sauce before noticing that his phone had been vibrating for a while. “Oh sorry, it seems that I have to take this. Excuse me for a moment.”
“Matsujun is really cool when he receives phone calls at 11 in the evening,” Aiba muttered as Jun left his seat to take the phone call elsewhere more quiet, before looking at his own cell phone. “Yep, nobody’s looking for me.”
“Maybe you can get one if you teach your pet monkey to make a call,” Nino commented, making his smile extra sweet to match Aiba’s indignant glare.
“Oh,” Ohno looked a bit stunned when his own phone started to ring. “My mom,” he said, not surprising anyone, before getting up and walking away to find somewhere else more private, other than the one Jun was occupying.
The three left on the table fell quiet for a while, except for the munching sounds coming from Aiba. Just as Jun was returning and about to take his seat, Aiba turned to Nino and said with his mouth half-full.
“Well, about your plan to confess to Leader---“
Sho sounded like one of his chopsticks got caught in his throat. Nino looked mildly annoyed. Jun’s mouth was half-open in shock.
“Damn,” the youngest member sighed loudly and dramatically, “This, THIS, this drama has to stop. Either you get together or not, make up your goddamn mind.”
“I did! I did!” Nino glared, “I just haven’t come around to tell him.”
“Then tell him! He’s alone right now right outside the room!” Jun gestured towards the door, “Ninomiya Kazunari, it was cute the first hundred times, but I’m done giving you advices that you are not going to follow anyway. Sometimes you love him, sometimes you hate him, most of the time you want to jump him, if it isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”
“Funny, I thought love was all about giving and receiving and tolerating each other’s weaknesses---“
“We’re not talking about definition of love, Sho-kun. If you love these two fools, you’d use that football foot of yours to kick his butt outside.”
And Sho did exactly that. Only, with less footwork and more manhandling.
XXX
“Oooohhh I remember that time,” Aiba blinked in realization.
“They never came back,” Sho looked down at his own hands forlornly, “Because of me… Oh God… I made them have sex for the first time… with these two hands!”
“You’re taking too much credit, too much credit,” Jun and Aiba replied flatly in unison.
“You haven’t gotten around to the part where we’re supposedly got together,” Nino pointed out, “And no, we didn’t have sex that night. I told him you guys had left so he went home.”
“Stop telling our friends about our sex life!” Ohno shouted from where he was floating lazily on the yellow duck-shaped floater.
“Well you obviously don’t love me anymore so at least leave me be to reminisce our good memories!”
“Ummm…” Aiba started, biting his lower lip, “Can I tell a story too?”
“Jun hasn’t even done!” Nino interrupted, “So, where’s the part where we got together?”
Jun looked like he was debating whether the haunting mental images he most probably was going to suffer afterwards would be worth the price. It was awesome most of the time, but sometimes he just hated this part of him that hated to lose.
XXX
“Oh-chan, please wait for a moment.”
Ohno stopped at his track, eyes questioning. There were a lot of things he had gotten used to, and a solemn Nino was not one of them. The noises around them suddenly dissolved, as Ohno stood on the land where both of them were the only existence, the only truth, the only way. Even the word Arashi would only sound like a foreign language to him at the time.
“I…” Nino took a step forward. Ohno tried not to take a step back, because the intensity of the look the younger man was giving him was a bit too much to handle.
“I know it has been years… you know… we’ve been mostly platonic…”
“But I---“
“I’d---“
Both men stopped speaking at the same time. A while later, as if on cue, ‘How Deep is Your Love’ was playing on the corridor speakers. Along with the sweet melody, was renewed courage and immense serene. Relaxation washed over them like a fresh gush of water on the drying soil, and for the first time they came to realize… it was just them. Ohno and Nino. Ohmiya. Two messed up personalities that just happened to cross over each other. They were not a perfect match, they were not perfect, but they wanted to be with each other, and it’s all that mattered.
“I wan---“
“Nino, I---“
They stopped again and took a sweet minute to just look at each other. Nino’s cheeks were tinted in red, and Ohno’s heart pounded like crazy at the sight.
“I love you,” Nino suddenly said, “Have always been.”
Ohno grinned and scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I’d say ‘I love you too’ but then you might punch me for coming up with such a lame response.”
“Or kiss you for saying just the exact thing I want to hear,” Nino chuckled, “We’re not on TV. We don’t need to try so hard to be interesting.”
“We’re hardly a normal couple by people’s standard, though.”
“We’re not,” Ohno took the chance to step forward and took a hold of Nino’s hand. It was cold. Nino’s heart had to be very warm. “But it won’t stop me from marrying you.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Nino jokingly punched Ohno’s stomach, before grabbing the older man by the shoulders and hugged him sweetly, “Aside from the fact that I’m a fantastic cook, I don’t think your mother would consider me an ideal daughter-in-law. Or son-in-law.”
“Isn’t it enough that I do consider you an ideal wife?” Ohno gratefully accepted the gesture and returned the embrace gently, “Let’s talk about this in the morning… Right now I just want to hold you…”
Warm and sated, Nino found no reason to disagree.
XXX
“Um.”
“Uhhh…”
“Sho-kun…” Jun started, “I’m grateful you offered to take over the hard part of the story and all… but… could it be…”
Sho looked like he had just been scammed by the love of his life.
“You’re a closet romantic?”
Nino and Aiba didn’t hold back and just laughed loudly at that point.
“You know, I would expect something like that coming from Jun rather than you, but I guess it doesn't matter which one of you came up with it,” Nino patted the sloping shoulder reassuringly, “You just made my day.”
“Well, excuse me but I happen to know the difference between dramas and reality!” Jun retorted.
“No romantic background music would suddenly be switched on when you’re about to confess, even I know that much!” Aiba was still having a hard time controlling his laughter, “Sho-chan you’re too adorable!”
Sho, too humiliated to come up with something clever to say, just quietly stood up and moved himself to the corner, where he sat and rocked himself to composure.
“Guys… what have you done to Sho-kun?” Ohno was suddenly standing among them, holding a glass of coconut water.
“Nothing, Oh-chan, nothing,” Nino patted the small space between his spread legs, “Here, sit with me.”
Ohno was on Nino’s lap instantly.
“As expected from Ohmiya SK,” Aiba smiled approvingly.
“What have you been talking about?”
“About you, and that sneaky brat,” Jun replied casually, “We were a bit curious about how you two finally managed to hit it off. You’re always so touchy with each other it took us a while to notice the difference.”
“Don’t tell them, Oh-chan!”
“Oh, that, I can’t remember.”
Jun and Aiba wisely refrained themselves from punching Nino’s pretty ‘I expected that much’ smirk.
“But,”
Three pairs of ears perked up at Ohno’s next sentence.
“I remember what he said.”
Sho was back in his seat instantly.
“As expected from Yatterman,” Aiba smiled approvingly.
“What did he say?!”
Ohno ignored Nino’s gentle pinch on his butt and replied, “I want to fuck you.”
Everyone’s jaw dropped to the floor.
“HE SAID WHAT?!”
“I know he’s a butt-addict but he said that?!”
“Nino you’re such an animal!”
“NO I DIDN’T SAY THAT!”
Cornered by the members of his own group, Ohno gulped and corrected, “Well… maybe not with that exact sentence…”
“I can’t think of anything romantic with any variations of that sentence,” Aiba glowered at Nino disapprovingly, “As expected from a sexual powerhouse.”
“No, no, no, no, wait for a moment---I didn’t say that!” Nino looked annoyed, “Oh-chan, you know you wouldn’t have let me abused that sexy body of yours on daily basis if I did say something like that to woo you!”
“Gahhh too much and too little information…” Sho clutched his head in frustration.
“No, you definitely said something along the lines of that,” Ohno frowned, “I just can’t remember the exact wordings.”
“I knew this was going to be a big waste of our precious day off,” Jun sighed and stood up, “I’m going home.”
“Me too!” Aiba followed, dragging Sho behind him, leaving the dumbfounded couple who was still straddled together on the floor.
“Great,” Nino sighed, “There goes my good reputation. If I ever had one anyway.”
Nino intended to sulk a little longer, but quickly found out that he couldn’t manage to do it for long when Ohno turned around and gave him that silly happy smile.
“I’m hungry.”
“Wanna go to an early dinner together?”
“No.”
XXX
Epilogue
A few years before, after the shootings of Saigo no Yakusoku, the night after dinner together with the rest of Arashi…
“You know,”
“Hmm?”
Ohno was just about to hit the shower when his phone rang. It was Nino, who probably was still on his way to get home. They happened to be closer to Ohno’s place so he was dropped off earlier.
“You said best friends could make the the best couple.”
“I did,” Ohno pushed the loudspeaker button and placed the phone on the bathroom counter, before proceeding to take off his shirt.
“Your voice is kinda echoing. Are you in the bathroom?”
“I am,” Ohno replied, “I’m taking off my pants. Soon I’ll be wearing nothing. What are you wearing anyway?”
The sound of Nino’s honest laughter from the other side was rejuvenating. Lately they had just been busy. Too busy. They barely had time to see each other, and most of their time off was lost for sleeping. He realized how much he had missed this. How much he missed Nino.
“You know… back to the topic… you know about best friend things… caring for each other, supporting each other, feeling comfortable around each other… you know, the way it works between us…” Nino continued, sounding a bit more hesitant with each word, “They’re similar qualities that could be found in a good lover, except for the fact that best friends don’t want fuck each other.”
“Nino, I was joking about the phone sex thing.”
“I know, just saying,”
Ohno stood silent for a moment, before grabbing the phone again from the counter, disabled the loudspeaker and carefully pressed it to his ear.
“You’re right. I guess it’s the only difference.”
Nino was chuckling, but he sounded like he had held his breath for a while.
“Then… would you mind if I say something to you?”
Ohno froze in his place, feeling his heartbeat quicken.
“I’ve been wanting to bang you for a while now.”
XXX
THE END
BONUS - Aiba’s Story
The TV was magically turned on.
“STOP IT! SHO!”
Nino tsked as his hand wandered to find the remote to turn it back off. Shinigami Satoshi would protest, but his butt was indeed responsible for the two times it had happened before, and Nino’s mouth happened to be latched on his. It was a lost cause, he figured out that much as they proceeded with the make out session.
“Satoshi!”
That name, which happened to be gasped out but not from Nino’s lips, caught their attentions immediately.
“The hell?” Nino frowned as something resembling a live show gone bad happened on the screen. The camera had zoomed out, revealing the slightly altered Zero set, with Sakurai Sho and someone who eerily looked a lot like the Shinigami Nino was straddling. Except for the slightly longer and unbleached hair.
“What are you doing here?! You’re not supposed to show up!”
“No, Sho, I’ve heard it from Aiba and I’m not letting you die to help me catch Kira,” the chubby-cheeked legendary detective persisted, “This man can kill as long he knows about his victim’s face and name. I have figured out that much, you don’t have to die to confirm it.”
“Satoshi, be a darling and hand me my glasses.”
The Shinigami pouted in disappointment, but did as he’d been told anyway. Nino immediately put his glasses on and turned the volume up. This could possibly get very steamy. His mortal enemy happened to be his exact type of guy! Damn, life’s good.
“I just called you by your name! Even though you’re supposed to be the enigmatic mysterious detective whose name shall never be revealed until the end of the series!” Sho made a rather interesting ‘I FAIL’ pose, “We’re doomed! We’ll never catch him now! We might even need to call your backup, detective T!”
“It’s okay, he still doesn’t know my family name,” Detective S smirked to the camera, “And by the way, it doesn’t start with S.”
“Interesting,” Nino’s eyes were gleaming. His lips as well, with the remainder of makeout and a bit of saliva as the camera zoomed in on the sexy-ass enigmatic sweet-toothed detective. “Very interesting.”
“Humans are interesting,” Shinigami Satoshi had long returned to his Hana Yori Dango. If he wasn’t going to get any, might as well read about someone else who did.
“Try and kill me,” Detective S winked at the camera.
“Not before I snag your little ass,” Nino smirked at his tv screen.
“Justice will prevail!”
XXX
TELLS A LOVE STORY”
By: Ami
An Ohmiya Fanfiction
Standard disclaimers apply.
Author’s note: crack with a dash of romance (and Death Note) :D
XXX
Kitagawa Johnny calmly picked up the ridiculously expensive cup of green tea, giving the congressman a smirk before taking a sip.
“I believe we have a deal?”
“Absolutely, Kitagawa-san,” the semi-bald middle-aged man smiled nervously and rubbed his forehead for the nth time with the damp handkerchief. What a waste of a perfectly good Armani, Johnny thought wryly.
“This young man indeed looks promising,” the congressman continued, reaching out to take a closer look at the picture of Ninomiya Kazunari, half-body shoot during Gantz, looking manly, luscious and so very handsome. “He will bring a new light to Japan’s government.”
“He will,” Johnny snorted proudly, “He is the best talent in our jimusho after all.”
“I can perfectly understand why you would want to put this wonderful young man as the first pillar in your political involvement,” the congressman gave the photo another adoring gaze, “He is so handsome, very smart, very popular, very talented…”
“Smarter than the newscaster.”
“Nicer than the zookeeper.”
“More handsome than the HanaDan actor… what’s his name again?”
Johnny shrugged, “Who knows? Matsu-something. I don’t have time to learn all their names. I only remember the really good ones.”
“This Ninomiya Kazunari, I believe he will eventually be the prime minister, if he puts his mind on it.”
“That’s what I told him, repeatedly,” Johnny pulled out his cigar box and intentionally ignored the congressman’s wandering eyes as he took one out and lighted it up. “This very, very, very wonderful young man, he---“
XXX
“God damn it Nino.” Sho made a face, “You were the one who told us you wanted to confess about your ‘special’ relationship with Leader and we ended up with Johnny-san and a politician---anyway how did we get to this part? Does anyone remember?”
“He was saying something about his conspiracy theory, something about Johnny Jimusho aiming to conquer Japan,” Aiba took one large piece of the remaining potato chips laid out on the table and crunched on it noisily. “Leader! Do you want more coconut water?”
Ohno’s head surfaced from the swimming pool’s deep water section, as he waved his hands to Aiba energetically, obviously not hearing the younger man’s question earlier.
Aiba stood up and prepared himself to shout, as Jun grabbed his hand and pulled him back down, “He will not continue until he is sure we’re all listening.” The youngest member gestured to the smirking magician-wannabe, “Let’s just let him speak and get this over with.”
“Well, well, Jun-chan, you’re obviously curious, aren’t ya,” Nino crossed his arms self-satisifiedly, “About how Leader and I got together and had fantastic sex every time we could manage to---“
“The confession, Nino! The confession!” Sho shrieked, before they got to the fantastic part, “Just the confession, okay?! We’re all curious so please, continue.”
“Oh, Sho-chan, I was just kidding! Of course I will happily tell you, you don’t have to beg!” Nino laughed heartily as he repositioned his oversized straw hat (which he didn’t need as they were in an indoor pool, but he used it anyway because it matched his red shirt) . Everyone knew that when Nino seemed like he overdosed on sugar, it meant that Ohno did something particularly good the night before. Or an hour before. Nobody could pinpoint it for sure, really, as Ohno always looked sleepy, with or without sexing Nino all night long. “I am even more than willing to share our glorious sex life!”
“Nino you’re such an animal!” Ohno, who obviously heard that last part, cheered from where he was lazily floating on the water, “Stop telling people about what we do in bed at night!”
Aiba patted Sho on the shoulder, who looked more and more traumatized by the minute. The older man was kind of cute, like the spotted hyena he had encountered in the last TSD shooting.
“We sleep there too, you cute little pert ass!” Nino retorted playfully.
“Good grief, now he has stopped addressing any other parts but his most favorite one,” Jun massaged his crinkling frown.
“You know, looking at how many times he referred to that part, it’s a wonder if someone ever believes those rumors about his sex scandals, with GIRLS.” Sho added, amused, “God knows Nino has enough G-factors to fill both his and Satoshi-kun’s jars.”
“Are you saying that I made Oh-chan gay?”
“I’m saying that you don’t sleep with girls.”
“Are you implying that I’m the bottom?”
“…Aiba, rub my back. Suddenly I feel stiff.”
“That sounds so dirty Sho-chan!” Aiba laughed, but moved forward to do so anyway.
Jun suddenly stood up, revealing the daisy patterns on his blue trunks.
“Wait, where are you going?”
“We’re never getting to that confession part anyway,” the youngest member glared at the Iwojima actor, who immedialy looked flustered.
“Fine! Fine! We’re there, we’re there already!”
XXX
Nino took a deep breath as he passed through the thorny bushes. His perfect hair was a tad messy after his brave endevour of entering his family’s biggest archenemy’s residence.
(Aiba: “If you’re really brave then you should have entered through the front door instead of sneaking around.”)
(Nino: *continued the story, pitch a tad higher and voice a tad louder*)
Now that he had arrived at the after-mentioned window, the one with a pot of cactus named Maguro, he wasted no time and threw the smallest pebble he could find nearby to the glass window.
(*insert breaking glass sound effects here*)
“Goddamn it Nino,” said a sleepy voice from inside, before a sleepy man (but still very sexy even with a bit of drool on the side of his mouth) with pink pajama bottom stuck his head out of the window, “That can’t be the smallest pebble you could find.”
“You bet it is. I tested it last time I waited here in cold for you. You wouldn’t wake up with something smaller.”
“Point taken,” the man yawned and scratched his perfectly toned stomach lazily, “So, what is it? You know I’m only asking because you can’t get up here.”
“You only like me for the sex?!” Nino mock-cried.
“Well, you give it good, for a bratty guy with underage face---Oww! That can’t be the smallest pebble you could find!“
XXX
“I should have known…” Sho laid his back on the beach chair and sighed, “He wouldn’t have told us easily.”
“Ohh! But it’s so thrilling!” Aiba cheered excitedly, “What happens next, Nino?! What happens next?”
“I’ll lend you the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ DVD later, Aiba-chan, now Nino,” Jun crossed his arms, positively irate, “You told us you’d ‘come out’ and this is what we get? A series of nonsense?”
“Hey! That last part about the underage thing is definitely real!” Nino digressed, “Oh-chan! You tell them!”
Ohno floated away from his friends peacefully. If Nino felt the need to share their glorious nightly encounters to their friends, he wouldn’t stop the younger man, but he’d be damned to assist him while doing so.
“You’re such an unfaithful wife!” Nino spat and threw his hands up in frustration, “He’s lucky he’s pretty.”
“This is so confusingly endearing and confusing on so many levels,” Sho sighed in relief as Aiba rubbed on one particularly stubborn knot, “Ah… yes… that’s it… that part, Aiba-chan… ohhh…”
“GOD,” Jun shrieked, “All I’m asking is one, one measly wish to have at least one other person sane in this group, and now you have to cross over to the other side, Sho-kun?!”
“Ah,” Nino suddenly brightened up, “Speaking of jealous and very unhappy lonely man---“
“---am not!”
“Come on, Matsujun, the first steps towards enlightment is to admit that you’re lost in the dark!” Nino conveniently looked at anywhere but the fuming youngest member’s eyes, while dramatically spreading his arms towards nothing in particular, “I was once in your place too! Lost! Scared! Lonely! And then I met that perfectly round butt and my world opens up like a clear sky after the rain!”
Jun bumped on a bartender and knocked four glasses of margarita down on his way to the restroom, because no proper responsible citizen would throw up on someone else’s floor no matter how disgusting that someone’s story was.
“Anyway, speaking of an unhappy and lonely man,” Nino picked up the only standing glass on the bartender’s tray calmly and took a sip, “Should I continue this love story about how Oh-chan and I got together?”
“I’d like to hear more!” Aiba cheerfully replied, while Sho just shrugged lazily. As long Aiba kept doing what he was doing, he’d listen even when Nino decided to open up a phonebook and read it out aloud. Sho’s sloping shoulders slumped just a bit more when Nino started the story with,
“So this is what happened after I found the Death Note lying on the ground…”
XXX
“You did WHAT?!”
“Yea… I did it…” Nino smirked as he held the black book up for the God of Death to see, “I’ve been punishing bad guys. I wrote their names in this and they fell like flies!”
“Aw, damn,” Shinigami Satoshi scratched the back of his head sleepily, “I should have kept it in my bag all the time, like mama said.”
“I’ve always been called a nerd at school, people are jealous of my genius and good looks that they either ignore me or bully me, but not anymore after this,” Nino laughed maniacally the proper villain way, “I SHALL BE THE KING OF THE WORLD! OH YES I OWN YOU YOU MEAGER MORTALS---“
The television was magically turned on.
“Oh sorry, I sat on this,” Shinigami Satoshi casually tossed the remote away from under his perky butt before lying down on Nino’s bed comfortably, taking interest in one of Nino’s manga.
“Kira, if you happen to see this… I’m sure you’re watching right now,” said Sakurai Sho, the man on the screen. Not that Nino knew him. He clearly wanted to let his name be known, as he placed a big-ass nametag in front of him written in big block font.
“My name is Sakurai Sho. SA-KU-RA-I SHO, you can see how to write the kanji over here,” the apparently suicidal man gestured to the aftermentioned big-ass nameplate, “In other words, as you can probably guess, I am the mysterious, enigmatic, sweet-toothed infamous great detective who happens to be pursuing you right now. I am S.”
“What the hell,” Nino picked on his ear.
“You might think that you are winning right now. Your method of killing is a mystery, everyone is afraid of you and the police is desperate enough to call for my, this great detective’s help.” Sho continued with his most menacing tone, “But no matter of much of a worthless scum a criminal is, you have no right to kill the lowlife. They aren’t supposed to die in your hands, those sick twisted bastards!”
“Yeah, I suppose they are quite sick and twisted,” Nino nodded approvingly, “Hey what’s your name again?”
“I’m Satoshi,” the Shinigami replied absently, the 7th volume of ‘Hana Yori Dango’ in his hand.
“The others will have to call me God, but you can call me Nino,” the evil genius smirked as he crept over the Shinigami, with a smile as wide as one belonged a lion which had successfully cornered an injured deer. “You are quite good-looking for a Shinigami. I thought they’re supposed to be really big, tall, wears leather jacket with lots of feathers around the collar?”
“Oh I’m supposed to wear it but mom said it didn’t suit me, so she bought me this yellow t-shirt, jeans and white sneakers instead.”
“Well she has a good taste. Not that I would pass on you if you happen to wear those.”
“What you are doing is just murder! You are no different than them!” Sho screamed to the camera, as Nino intently stared at the Shinigami’s pert little ass. “AREN’T YOU MAD AT ME KIRA?! KILL MEEE!! KILL MEEE!”
The television was magically turned off.
“Oh, sorry, I---uhmmmmm---oh--ohhh---Nino---don’----“
XXX
“Sho-chan! Why would you want to die?!” Aiba screamed, scandalized.
“I was away for 10 minutes and you remade Death Note?” Jun casually made his entrance, handsome and refreshed. “Come on, Nino. I thought you were more original than that. So far all you’ve been doing to copying others’ stories.”
“No, no, Aiba, I don’t intend to die anytime soon---“
“DID YOU MEAN YOU EVENTUALLY WILL WANT TO DIE?!”
“No----I mean---yes---but----“
“Oh, so you think I’m not being original,” Nino stepped forward, ignoring Sho who was having an armful of crying Aiba, “Or you were just saying that so I would run out of ideas and just tell the truth? In the end you’re the most curious one, aren’t you, Mattchan.”
“No, I’m not. And don’t call me that.”
“If you think you can be more original than me, why don’t you make up your own story?”
Nino immediately noticed that glint in Jun’s eyes which usually spelled ‘You know I won’t lose and in a moment I will show you exactly that’.
Or just plain ‘trouble’ in short.
“I will make up a story about how you and Ohno-kun got together,” Jun announced. Aiba immediately stopped suffocating Sho and sat with a formal pose on the colorful pool bench.
“Jun-kun will do what?” Ohno called from where he was swimming like the tuna he craved to catch.
“Remember a few years ago? We just finished shooting ‘Saigo no Yakusoku’ and it had been a while since we worked together so we decided to have dinner, and Aiba started yapping about the difference of friendship and love.”
“I did!” Aiba raised his hand with a proud smile.
“Everyone ignored him because we thought he was talking about Sho-kun, but Ohno-kun suddenly responded to him seriously and the rest of us were baffled. He talked like, 10 times the usual talking quota,” Jun smirked at Nino, who was starting to look anxious. “You see, I get the general idea. I might just come up with the real story.”
Nino scowled and sat back down, crossing his legs.
XXX
“I really think that a best friend, a true one, can also be the best lover,” Ohno for once, did not look sleepy at the slightest bit even after the long hours of their shootings. “Basically, a lover is someone you’d want to accompany you for the rest of your life, right? It has to be someone who understands you, tolerates you, comfortable around you, and accepts you the way you are. A best friend practically covers it all.”
“I think so too, Riida!” Aiba responded vigorously, “Sho-chan you heard that?!”
Sho took one particularly large meat strip and dipped it in his broth. “Aiba, you’re not even drunk so please stop hitting on me.”
XXX
“Sho-chan was really cool when he said that, huh,” Aiba started giggling.
“See, Sho-kun,” Jun shrugged at the Keio graduate, “You were worried for nothing. He wasn’t offended at all.”
“Sho-chan worried about me?”
Sho lowered his head slightly to hide the blush spreading in his face.
XXX
”I guess that means you and I can make a pretty hot couple, huh,” Nino laughed, but not in his usual loud-joking way. If anything, he seemed a tad nervous.
Ohno gave him a brief look before returning his attention to his glass, “I guess.”
Jun was about to make a reach for the soy sauce before noticing that his phone had been vibrating for a while. “Oh sorry, it seems that I have to take this. Excuse me for a moment.”
“Matsujun is really cool when he receives phone calls at 11 in the evening,” Aiba muttered as Jun left his seat to take the phone call elsewhere more quiet, before looking at his own cell phone. “Yep, nobody’s looking for me.”
“Maybe you can get one if you teach your pet monkey to make a call,” Nino commented, making his smile extra sweet to match Aiba’s indignant glare.
“Oh,” Ohno looked a bit stunned when his own phone started to ring. “My mom,” he said, not surprising anyone, before getting up and walking away to find somewhere else more private, other than the one Jun was occupying.
The three left on the table fell quiet for a while, except for the munching sounds coming from Aiba. Just as Jun was returning and about to take his seat, Aiba turned to Nino and said with his mouth half-full.
“Well, about your plan to confess to Leader---“
Sho sounded like one of his chopsticks got caught in his throat. Nino looked mildly annoyed. Jun’s mouth was half-open in shock.
“Damn,” the youngest member sighed loudly and dramatically, “This, THIS, this drama has to stop. Either you get together or not, make up your goddamn mind.”
“I did! I did!” Nino glared, “I just haven’t come around to tell him.”
“Then tell him! He’s alone right now right outside the room!” Jun gestured towards the door, “Ninomiya Kazunari, it was cute the first hundred times, but I’m done giving you advices that you are not going to follow anyway. Sometimes you love him, sometimes you hate him, most of the time you want to jump him, if it isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”
“Funny, I thought love was all about giving and receiving and tolerating each other’s weaknesses---“
“We’re not talking about definition of love, Sho-kun. If you love these two fools, you’d use that football foot of yours to kick his butt outside.”
And Sho did exactly that. Only, with less footwork and more manhandling.
XXX
“Oooohhh I remember that time,” Aiba blinked in realization.
“They never came back,” Sho looked down at his own hands forlornly, “Because of me… Oh God… I made them have sex for the first time… with these two hands!”
“You’re taking too much credit, too much credit,” Jun and Aiba replied flatly in unison.
“You haven’t gotten around to the part where we’re supposedly got together,” Nino pointed out, “And no, we didn’t have sex that night. I told him you guys had left so he went home.”
“Stop telling our friends about our sex life!” Ohno shouted from where he was floating lazily on the yellow duck-shaped floater.
“Well you obviously don’t love me anymore so at least leave me be to reminisce our good memories!”
“Ummm…” Aiba started, biting his lower lip, “Can I tell a story too?”
“Jun hasn’t even done!” Nino interrupted, “So, where’s the part where we got together?”
Jun looked like he was debating whether the haunting mental images he most probably was going to suffer afterwards would be worth the price. It was awesome most of the time, but sometimes he just hated this part of him that hated to lose.
XXX
“Oh-chan, please wait for a moment.”
Ohno stopped at his track, eyes questioning. There were a lot of things he had gotten used to, and a solemn Nino was not one of them. The noises around them suddenly dissolved, as Ohno stood on the land where both of them were the only existence, the only truth, the only way. Even the word Arashi would only sound like a foreign language to him at the time.
“I…” Nino took a step forward. Ohno tried not to take a step back, because the intensity of the look the younger man was giving him was a bit too much to handle.
“I know it has been years… you know… we’ve been mostly platonic…”
“But I---“
“I’d---“
Both men stopped speaking at the same time. A while later, as if on cue, ‘How Deep is Your Love’ was playing on the corridor speakers. Along with the sweet melody, was renewed courage and immense serene. Relaxation washed over them like a fresh gush of water on the drying soil, and for the first time they came to realize… it was just them. Ohno and Nino. Ohmiya. Two messed up personalities that just happened to cross over each other. They were not a perfect match, they were not perfect, but they wanted to be with each other, and it’s all that mattered.
“I wan---“
“Nino, I---“
They stopped again and took a sweet minute to just look at each other. Nino’s cheeks were tinted in red, and Ohno’s heart pounded like crazy at the sight.
“I love you,” Nino suddenly said, “Have always been.”
Ohno grinned and scratched his cheek sheepishly. “I’d say ‘I love you too’ but then you might punch me for coming up with such a lame response.”
“Or kiss you for saying just the exact thing I want to hear,” Nino chuckled, “We’re not on TV. We don’t need to try so hard to be interesting.”
“We’re hardly a normal couple by people’s standard, though.”
“We’re not,” Ohno took the chance to step forward and took a hold of Nino’s hand. It was cold. Nino’s heart had to be very warm. “But it won’t stop me from marrying you.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Nino jokingly punched Ohno’s stomach, before grabbing the older man by the shoulders and hugged him sweetly, “Aside from the fact that I’m a fantastic cook, I don’t think your mother would consider me an ideal daughter-in-law. Or son-in-law.”
“Isn’t it enough that I do consider you an ideal wife?” Ohno gratefully accepted the gesture and returned the embrace gently, “Let’s talk about this in the morning… Right now I just want to hold you…”
Warm and sated, Nino found no reason to disagree.
XXX
“Um.”
“Uhhh…”
“Sho-kun…” Jun started, “I’m grateful you offered to take over the hard part of the story and all… but… could it be…”
Sho looked like he had just been scammed by the love of his life.
“You’re a closet romantic?”
Nino and Aiba didn’t hold back and just laughed loudly at that point.
“You know, I would expect something like that coming from Jun rather than you, but I guess it doesn't matter which one of you came up with it,” Nino patted the sloping shoulder reassuringly, “You just made my day.”
“Well, excuse me but I happen to know the difference between dramas and reality!” Jun retorted.
“No romantic background music would suddenly be switched on when you’re about to confess, even I know that much!” Aiba was still having a hard time controlling his laughter, “Sho-chan you’re too adorable!”
Sho, too humiliated to come up with something clever to say, just quietly stood up and moved himself to the corner, where he sat and rocked himself to composure.
“Guys… what have you done to Sho-kun?” Ohno was suddenly standing among them, holding a glass of coconut water.
“Nothing, Oh-chan, nothing,” Nino patted the small space between his spread legs, “Here, sit with me.”
Ohno was on Nino’s lap instantly.
“As expected from Ohmiya SK,” Aiba smiled approvingly.
“What have you been talking about?”
“About you, and that sneaky brat,” Jun replied casually, “We were a bit curious about how you two finally managed to hit it off. You’re always so touchy with each other it took us a while to notice the difference.”
“Don’t tell them, Oh-chan!”
“Oh, that, I can’t remember.”
Jun and Aiba wisely refrained themselves from punching Nino’s pretty ‘I expected that much’ smirk.
“But,”
Three pairs of ears perked up at Ohno’s next sentence.
“I remember what he said.”
Sho was back in his seat instantly.
“As expected from Yatterman,” Aiba smiled approvingly.
“What did he say?!”
Ohno ignored Nino’s gentle pinch on his butt and replied, “I want to fuck you.”
Everyone’s jaw dropped to the floor.
“HE SAID WHAT?!”
“I know he’s a butt-addict but he said that?!”
“Nino you’re such an animal!”
“NO I DIDN’T SAY THAT!”
Cornered by the members of his own group, Ohno gulped and corrected, “Well… maybe not with that exact sentence…”
“I can’t think of anything romantic with any variations of that sentence,” Aiba glowered at Nino disapprovingly, “As expected from a sexual powerhouse.”
“No, no, no, no, wait for a moment---I didn’t say that!” Nino looked annoyed, “Oh-chan, you know you wouldn’t have let me abused that sexy body of yours on daily basis if I did say something like that to woo you!”
“Gahhh too much and too little information…” Sho clutched his head in frustration.
“No, you definitely said something along the lines of that,” Ohno frowned, “I just can’t remember the exact wordings.”
“I knew this was going to be a big waste of our precious day off,” Jun sighed and stood up, “I’m going home.”
“Me too!” Aiba followed, dragging Sho behind him, leaving the dumbfounded couple who was still straddled together on the floor.
“Great,” Nino sighed, “There goes my good reputation. If I ever had one anyway.”
Nino intended to sulk a little longer, but quickly found out that he couldn’t manage to do it for long when Ohno turned around and gave him that silly happy smile.
“I’m hungry.”
“Wanna go to an early dinner together?”
“No.”
XXX
Epilogue
A few years before, after the shootings of Saigo no Yakusoku, the night after dinner together with the rest of Arashi…
“You know,”
“Hmm?”
Ohno was just about to hit the shower when his phone rang. It was Nino, who probably was still on his way to get home. They happened to be closer to Ohno’s place so he was dropped off earlier.
“You said best friends could make the the best couple.”
“I did,” Ohno pushed the loudspeaker button and placed the phone on the bathroom counter, before proceeding to take off his shirt.
“Your voice is kinda echoing. Are you in the bathroom?”
“I am,” Ohno replied, “I’m taking off my pants. Soon I’ll be wearing nothing. What are you wearing anyway?”
The sound of Nino’s honest laughter from the other side was rejuvenating. Lately they had just been busy. Too busy. They barely had time to see each other, and most of their time off was lost for sleeping. He realized how much he had missed this. How much he missed Nino.
“You know… back to the topic… you know about best friend things… caring for each other, supporting each other, feeling comfortable around each other… you know, the way it works between us…” Nino continued, sounding a bit more hesitant with each word, “They’re similar qualities that could be found in a good lover, except for the fact that best friends don’t want fuck each other.”
“Nino, I was joking about the phone sex thing.”
“I know, just saying,”
Ohno stood silent for a moment, before grabbing the phone again from the counter, disabled the loudspeaker and carefully pressed it to his ear.
“You’re right. I guess it’s the only difference.”
Nino was chuckling, but he sounded like he had held his breath for a while.
“Then… would you mind if I say something to you?”
Ohno froze in his place, feeling his heartbeat quicken.
“I’ve been wanting to bang you for a while now.”
XXX
THE END
BONUS - Aiba’s Story
The TV was magically turned on.
“STOP IT! SHO!”
Nino tsked as his hand wandered to find the remote to turn it back off. Shinigami Satoshi would protest, but his butt was indeed responsible for the two times it had happened before, and Nino’s mouth happened to be latched on his. It was a lost cause, he figured out that much as they proceeded with the make out session.
“Satoshi!”
That name, which happened to be gasped out but not from Nino’s lips, caught their attentions immediately.
“The hell?” Nino frowned as something resembling a live show gone bad happened on the screen. The camera had zoomed out, revealing the slightly altered Zero set, with Sakurai Sho and someone who eerily looked a lot like the Shinigami Nino was straddling. Except for the slightly longer and unbleached hair.
“What are you doing here?! You’re not supposed to show up!”
“No, Sho, I’ve heard it from Aiba and I’m not letting you die to help me catch Kira,” the chubby-cheeked legendary detective persisted, “This man can kill as long he knows about his victim’s face and name. I have figured out that much, you don’t have to die to confirm it.”
“Satoshi, be a darling and hand me my glasses.”
The Shinigami pouted in disappointment, but did as he’d been told anyway. Nino immediately put his glasses on and turned the volume up. This could possibly get very steamy. His mortal enemy happened to be his exact type of guy! Damn, life’s good.
“I just called you by your name! Even though you’re supposed to be the enigmatic mysterious detective whose name shall never be revealed until the end of the series!” Sho made a rather interesting ‘I FAIL’ pose, “We’re doomed! We’ll never catch him now! We might even need to call your backup, detective T!”
“It’s okay, he still doesn’t know my family name,” Detective S smirked to the camera, “And by the way, it doesn’t start with S.”
“Interesting,” Nino’s eyes were gleaming. His lips as well, with the remainder of makeout and a bit of saliva as the camera zoomed in on the sexy-ass enigmatic sweet-toothed detective. “Very interesting.”
“Humans are interesting,” Shinigami Satoshi had long returned to his Hana Yori Dango. If he wasn’t going to get any, might as well read about someone else who did.
“Try and kill me,” Detective S winked at the camera.
“Not before I snag your little ass,” Nino smirked at his tv screen.
“Justice will prevail!”
XXX