(no subject)
And so i lament. I didn't win the $9.7 million Toto jackpot. There is so much i could've achieved with that kinda money - no more headaches over raising funds for the next wedding party, no more need to settle with 3rd party lens and an antique camera body and finally, the chance to see the world before this life passes me by.
Money.
I never used to think much of it. I aspired to be the passionate fool who would eat dirt off the curb so long as i stayed true to my calling. People change, i guess. I change. Priorities shift and now i find myself scouring forums and passing the word to secure myself more freelance writing/photography jobs to supplement my average income. Why? Cos money opens up a world of endless possibilities. It's not shallow to think that way.
It's called being practical.
The last two shoots for Angie and her sister went pretty well and i'm actually very pleased with the results. I guess those jobs gave me the gut to wanna go out and do more. But then arises the problem - competition. Well, not just plain competition but CHEAP competition. For the past few weeks i have been surveying the competition and they are sometimes decent, but mostly crap. Honestly, you can't really except to get much outta a $488-a-wedding-photographer.
So i price myself according to what i think i'm worth (and really, it's not a lot) and i find the inbox empty. Sure i've got some more jobs coming up through word of mouth but that's no way to sustain a constant side income. Don't get me wrong, i'm not lamenting. I'm just trying to kickstart this dead engine of passion before it becomes lost to the abyss of ennui and procrastination.
The results for the Golden Point Awards will be out in a few weeks and honestly, i really wanna win it. No just for the $5000 prize money, but more for the boost of confidence; the shot of self-recognition that i've been craving for like a fucked up druggie; the one important pat on the shoulder.
To picture or to write, whatever. I yearn to create. I need to manifest what i see in my head, even if the world does not understand. This is what makes me.
This is what keeps me alive.
Money.
I never used to think much of it. I aspired to be the passionate fool who would eat dirt off the curb so long as i stayed true to my calling. People change, i guess. I change. Priorities shift and now i find myself scouring forums and passing the word to secure myself more freelance writing/photography jobs to supplement my average income. Why? Cos money opens up a world of endless possibilities. It's not shallow to think that way.
It's called being practical.
The last two shoots for Angie and her sister went pretty well and i'm actually very pleased with the results. I guess those jobs gave me the gut to wanna go out and do more. But then arises the problem - competition. Well, not just plain competition but CHEAP competition. For the past few weeks i have been surveying the competition and they are sometimes decent, but mostly crap. Honestly, you can't really except to get much outta a $488-a-wedding-photographer.
So i price myself according to what i think i'm worth (and really, it's not a lot) and i find the inbox empty. Sure i've got some more jobs coming up through word of mouth but that's no way to sustain a constant side income. Don't get me wrong, i'm not lamenting. I'm just trying to kickstart this dead engine of passion before it becomes lost to the abyss of ennui and procrastination.
The results for the Golden Point Awards will be out in a few weeks and honestly, i really wanna win it. No just for the $5000 prize money, but more for the boost of confidence; the shot of self-recognition that i've been craving for like a fucked up druggie; the one important pat on the shoulder.
To picture or to write, whatever. I yearn to create. I need to manifest what i see in my head, even if the world does not understand. This is what makes me.
This is what keeps me alive.