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[alythar]

Holy shit, it wasn't easy or fun...but I've written a 20 page paper in French in 2 days. Now I have to evacuate the center, as it's closing.
I now hate "race and politics" in France. :)

Comments

[anonymous]

if you had seen josh laying on a bed with 3 gashes across his chest you would have freaked out too.......he had a total of 34 stitches in 2 of the gashes and the other was glued shut... i tried to tell you guys something was wrong when he posted the Shitbag thing 2/9/07 but no one seemed to take it seriously.....i thought you guys were his friends but now i wonder where you were when he seemed to need you the most....as to his saying i stole his money. we put part of his money back so that he would not spend it all on comic books and video games like he did the first sememster... 1200.00 wasted on crap... then we had to foot the rest of his bills for 6 months because he didnt have any money to live on...get the whole story before judging me.. josh was just mad because he couldnt waste it on things he really doesnt need. he lives in a fantasy world to much of the time. i thought he could use a little reality well i guess he couldnt handle real life.. i have loved and adored that boy since the moment he came into this world.. maybe i didnt understand where he was coming from on alot of things but that doesnt change the fact that he was loved. i have never abused hime or neglected him he has never wanted for anything... maybe i have him too much who knows but right now i am empty and very angry at him for doing this to himself...maybe i shouldnt have vented at you all but it seemed like a good thing at the time... i have read alot of your journal postings over the last year and almost everyone seemed dark to me as a parent (the whole whoa is me thing) you guys are supposed to be living it up right now not thinking of all the bad things in life that happens later when you have a family to take care of and very little money or help to do it with...then your child grows up and hates you for some unknown reasons and your floored by this....what am i supposed to do????

[silverkiiri]

...Wait what? Wrong journal, lady. This discussion does not involve either of these people. Jesus, one of them is in FRANCE and hasn't seen your son in a long, long time. Calm down and focus here. You sound a little bit loopy when you rant like that in response to something no one said yet.

[alythar]

Hmmm. There really isn't much "woe is me" in this journal...just a lot of "oh crap, a paper's due!" I'm really sorry to hear about Josh. He and I have been out of contact for quite some time, since he and Jenny split up, and it's not easy to keep up contacts what with being in Nashville (and I've been in France for 2 months). Is there any kind of number to call and talk to him while he's at Woodridge?
Now for another thing. It's straight up rude to involve my little sister in your comment, and the manner that you did it in was reprehensible. Everyone's got problems. Every family's got problems. Keep to your own, and leave my family out of it.
Other than that, I've never had an issue with you, and I understand that this has got to be a hard time for you. That being said, you should understand that I saw red for a bit after you brought Sarah into it. Think of how you'd feel if someone said a similar thing about Josh, and I'm sure you'll understand.
My condolences, though, and if there's no way for me to talk to Josh, let him know he's in my thoughts.

I Don't.

[snorkeypuff]

No offense, but we only know what he tells us. And he told us that you stole his money and I take that as a fact because he is my friend and I trust him wholeheartedly. Please don't read my journal and judge me because it is my journal. It's my place to put my thoughts and feelings and they aren't always good. In fact my LJ is where I put my drama. LJ is drama. And later on in life when I have a family and I go back and read this I hope that I laugh a little at things I used to think were big deals.

Are you asking us what you are supposed to be? I think you should just try and be there for him. Tell him why you did these things, Not us. If that is why you honest to God meant to do it... then show him. You are his mother and no one has known him for longer than the one who nursed him before he even came into the world.

I know you are hurting inside and confused. My mom was, too. And, honestly, maybe you didn't help out on the situation but it couldn't have been all you. Maybe we didn't always heal his pain or know exactly what to say when he was hurting, but it wasn't all us either. It's everything. Suicide is just something that happens when your pain exceeds the resources you have to cope.

As for finding your light in the dark, I have. I found a joy in life I had lost. You don't know anything about me, Mrs. And I'm sorry if I ruined anything but I can't take it back. And honestly, I wouldn't if I could because it was a lesson.

I want you to know that you were a successful mother. You raised an amazing child and I have no doubts that you realize that. He is talented, handsome, charming, kind(even though he doesn't realize it), fun, and all kinds of good things.

I hope you find a little peace in the lives you barged in on. None of my posts were meant towards you. Not one of them was meant for you to read. They were for me. To get some of it out. I'm sorry I upset you.

-Sarah

Re: I Don't.

[anonymous]

You are such a white mage... loser.