merry christmas
ok so it's beena while and i have quite a bit to say.....(get ready)
haha.....so here goes
i'm sohappy with my life right now, i'm actually about to go out and have a girls' night tonight...should be FUNNN im excited..also i cannot wait for the double date tomorrow night.. i've been quite vague about the mark thing on here and i dont know what's been holding me back but i'm not going to anymore..(i guess i was just nervous about him seeing it and me feeling like an idiot?)
MARK PARAGRAPH
um i like him a lot...and i wouldnt be surprised at all if things progressed... in fact i think i'd be happy if eventually they did but right now i'm enjoying how things are.. i'm trying to get as much as i can out of the holidays with him because they'll be over before i know it.. what am i talking about mine havent even started haha....but yeah so we're going to winterformal and ive made it so where matt's going too with my friend ashley they seem to be panning out really well so this all looks like it should be a fun night.. i can't remember the last time i had so much fun with someone doing absolutely nothing.. one of my ALLTIME fave dates was watching shrek 2 with him hasha and that's out of a lot of awesome ones in cool places...but i really enjoy my time with him...and i think ive gotten over the 'scared' part which is good.. i still have my moments however...sometimes things jst feel too good to be true and if you know me you know im paranoid.....right so ive seen him every night this week and each day he'sMADE that day haha....i like this....i'm yet to have a complaint...but it is new and unfamiliar and again if you know me...it's hard for me to get used to new things...easy for me to try new things.. but getting used to them is a bit different... i'd love getting used to this though..i went to his house for once today...the smallest things with him make me smile.
moving on to a new topic
EXAMS
going well.....cant wait for them to be over
SOCIAL SCENE
is being reconstructed and im LOVING it im seeing alexa tonight and prob ash too.....things are just too good to complain about in this area..there have been a few mishaps but nothing to worry about compared to the good
and finally
RYAN
um well i just got off the phone we had a nice convo..
made me feel better i wished him a merry christmas and whatnot
i think things are at peace...which makes it all the easier to walk away bc i find it way too hard to stop thinking about him when he's so bitter towards me
but i think this is it....and on a nice note at that..
i'm happy....and if i'm going to be honest in this journal and get the feelings out of me...here goes
truth being
i do miss him
i miss the familiar things and the small little things we had that were just ours
i miss the inside jokes and the way he knew everything there was to know
everything little thing.. i loved that..i miss all the great things we had
but then reality factors in and where i am now is best for both of us
wow i never though i would be the one saying this
but i guess i am and it's good bc i know if i leave him alone and i'm the one saying all of these true statements
then it will be a lot easier for him to move on to.. i hope he's happy
i also hope he never forgets all the good
because i wont...
but yeah
good bye.. ive been listing to 'nothing better by the postal service a lot lately and it makes me htink of him and smile... small things do
i know he may not believe this but i really can't wait to know he's happy again
like things with the band arewell and school and dating and his life is just easier...
we both deserve that
TODAY
so today i got out early and went to mark's (after getting out of the uniform) then went to lunch with dad and cousin then mall where i bought new panties!!! 4 pairs...(gotta love thier boyshorts..)
then just bullshitted saw ash...
got mark FOUR good presents (movies) hehe
and now here i am
getting ready to end a great day well
so good bye this is where i am right nowi guess
haha.....so here goes
i'm sohappy with my life right now, i'm actually about to go out and have a girls' night tonight...should be FUNNN im excited..also i cannot wait for the double date tomorrow night.. i've been quite vague about the mark thing on here and i dont know what's been holding me back but i'm not going to anymore..(i guess i was just nervous about him seeing it and me feeling like an idiot?)
MARK PARAGRAPH
um i like him a lot...and i wouldnt be surprised at all if things progressed... in fact i think i'd be happy if eventually they did but right now i'm enjoying how things are.. i'm trying to get as much as i can out of the holidays with him because they'll be over before i know it.. what am i talking about mine havent even started haha....but yeah so we're going to winterformal and ive made it so where matt's going too with my friend ashley they seem to be panning out really well so this all looks like it should be a fun night.. i can't remember the last time i had so much fun with someone doing absolutely nothing.. one of my ALLTIME fave dates was watching shrek 2 with him hasha and that's out of a lot of awesome ones in cool places...but i really enjoy my time with him...and i think ive gotten over the 'scared' part which is good.. i still have my moments however...sometimes things jst feel too good to be true and if you know me you know im paranoid.....right so ive seen him every night this week and each day he'sMADE that day haha....i like this....i'm yet to have a complaint...but it is new and unfamiliar and again if you know me...it's hard for me to get used to new things...easy for me to try new things.. but getting used to them is a bit different... i'd love getting used to this though..i went to his house for once today...the smallest things with him make me smile.
moving on to a new topic
EXAMS
going well.....cant wait for them to be over
SOCIAL SCENE
is being reconstructed and im LOVING it im seeing alexa tonight and prob ash too.....things are just too good to complain about in this area..there have been a few mishaps but nothing to worry about compared to the good
and finally
RYAN
um well i just got off the phone we had a nice convo..
made me feel better i wished him a merry christmas and whatnot
i think things are at peace...which makes it all the easier to walk away bc i find it way too hard to stop thinking about him when he's so bitter towards me
but i think this is it....and on a nice note at that..
i'm happy....and if i'm going to be honest in this journal and get the feelings out of me...here goes
truth being
i do miss him
i miss the familiar things and the small little things we had that were just ours
i miss the inside jokes and the way he knew everything there was to know
everything little thing.. i loved that..i miss all the great things we had
but then reality factors in and where i am now is best for both of us
wow i never though i would be the one saying this
but i guess i am and it's good bc i know if i leave him alone and i'm the one saying all of these true statements
then it will be a lot easier for him to move on to.. i hope he's happy
i also hope he never forgets all the good
because i wont...
but yeah
good bye.. ive been listing to 'nothing better by the postal service a lot lately and it makes me htink of him and smile... small things do
i know he may not believe this but i really can't wait to know he's happy again
like things with the band arewell and school and dating and his life is just easier...
we both deserve that
TODAY
so today i got out early and went to mark's (after getting out of the uniform) then went to lunch with dad and cousin then mall where i bought new panties!!! 4 pairs...(gotta love thier boyshorts..)
then just bullshitted saw ash...
got mark FOUR good presents (movies) hehe
and now here i am
getting ready to end a great day well
so good bye this is where i am right nowi guess