Whoa!... The things that go through your head!...
Whoa!... I just went back and read my old entries... and I mean i know why i OD-ed and shit... but Damn the things that went through my head and that i put in here are just amazing to me... I mean... how did people put up with me... what was my deal?... I mean how depressing is that to read... not knowing if one of your friends is gonna be okay... well in this case me!... I mean what did you guys think of me saying all that shit... honestly!... I am so surprised at what all i wrote... and thought... I just thank god that i am alive right now... and well okay i guess...
ON A BETTER NOTE!...
Christmas was awesome!... I got to spend time with my family and friends... and my new boyfriend... the only bad part about it was i missed my nanny and papaw so bad!... i mean i can't believe they are gone... i just kept sittin' there waiting on sissy to call them up and tell them ray would be over to get them in just a second... then when sissy got her tape for christmas... *of a previous christmas* ummm 87 i think cause i was just 8 months old... it suddenly came back to me that they both passed away last year at christmas... and i got really depressed and sad... i wanted to go to their grave site... but i couldn't get myself to do it... I just wanted to cry!... but them i remembered that they are no longer in the pain that they were in... so then i got a little happier!... Not to mention I ended up with the flu or some shit Christmas Night... I went to BBs to give him his presents... which consisted of a Poster size picture of me... and a bottle of Jack Daniels... a bottle of Wild Turkey... and a bottle of Crown Royal!... and i just got like weak as hell all the sudden he had to drive me home and like as soon as i walked into the door i was throwing up... all Night too... it Sucked... but I did get tons of stuff... so it was awesome!
New Years... haha... Wow!... that's all i can say... i went to heather's house cause Brandon was going to Brandon Stacys and i really didn't wanna go there... but anyway... I played with sissy till Shay, Tony, and Stout go there... then we all just sat around and bullshitted while heather got sissy to sleep... I left there at 3 to go home... Which i didn't drink any... why I dunno... but i didn't... i got home at 3:11... called BB at Brandons... and he asked me to come pick him up... he was SOO SOO drunk... i got out there and he was outside cussing something or someone... i dunno i was so confused... haha... but after about 30 minutes of standing outside listening to him yell i finally got him into my car... and he was still going... and by this time my nerves are all to hell... I was a nervous wreck... and i missed the turn off to his house and had to turn around... i got him home and he was still going on... we * me, his mom, and his dad* finally got him into bed... and i had to take his boots off... cause he was like falling asleep but still cussing and going on at NOTHING at this point... just to hear his voice i think... dunno... but i get him in bed... and then i get in bed... cause i was gonna stay with him in case he got sick or something... but this time it is 5:00... he went to sleep... and as i was going to sleep he starts hitting and kicking... WHILE asleep i remind you... he literally kicked my ass... haha... he was kicking me in the stomach... and punching me... I would wake him up and he would just look at me... then around 7 he wakes up again.. and just looks at me... and finally remembers my name... and yells "ALYSON!... please turn the light off"... needless to say i got hardly ANY sleep... but it was so fucking funny... i couldn't help but laugh my ass off at him!!!..
ON A BETTER NOTE!...
Christmas was awesome!... I got to spend time with my family and friends... and my new boyfriend... the only bad part about it was i missed my nanny and papaw so bad!... i mean i can't believe they are gone... i just kept sittin' there waiting on sissy to call them up and tell them ray would be over to get them in just a second... then when sissy got her tape for christmas... *of a previous christmas* ummm 87 i think cause i was just 8 months old... it suddenly came back to me that they both passed away last year at christmas... and i got really depressed and sad... i wanted to go to their grave site... but i couldn't get myself to do it... I just wanted to cry!... but them i remembered that they are no longer in the pain that they were in... so then i got a little happier!... Not to mention I ended up with the flu or some shit Christmas Night... I went to BBs to give him his presents... which consisted of a Poster size picture of me... and a bottle of Jack Daniels... a bottle of Wild Turkey... and a bottle of Crown Royal!... and i just got like weak as hell all the sudden he had to drive me home and like as soon as i walked into the door i was throwing up... all Night too... it Sucked... but I did get tons of stuff... so it was awesome!
New Years... haha... Wow!... that's all i can say... i went to heather's house cause Brandon was going to Brandon Stacys and i really didn't wanna go there... but anyway... I played with sissy till Shay, Tony, and Stout go there... then we all just sat around and bullshitted while heather got sissy to sleep... I left there at 3 to go home... Which i didn't drink any... why I dunno... but i didn't... i got home at 3:11... called BB at Brandons... and he asked me to come pick him up... he was SOO SOO drunk... i got out there and he was outside cussing something or someone... i dunno i was so confused... haha... but after about 30 minutes of standing outside listening to him yell i finally got him into my car... and he was still going... and by this time my nerves are all to hell... I was a nervous wreck... and i missed the turn off to his house and had to turn around... i got him home and he was still going on... we * me, his mom, and his dad* finally got him into bed... and i had to take his boots off... cause he was like falling asleep but still cussing and going on at NOTHING at this point... just to hear his voice i think... dunno... but i get him in bed... and then i get in bed... cause i was gonna stay with him in case he got sick or something... but this time it is 5:00... he went to sleep... and as i was going to sleep he starts hitting and kicking... WHILE asleep i remind you... he literally kicked my ass... haha... he was kicking me in the stomach... and punching me... I would wake him up and he would just look at me... then around 7 he wakes up again.. and just looks at me... and finally remembers my name... and yells "ALYSON!... please turn the light off"... needless to say i got hardly ANY sleep... but it was so fucking funny... i couldn't help but laugh my ass off at him!!!..