Not Fair
Things haven't always gone my way before; it's not like this is unusual. Life isn't fair; things happen for a reason; cliches cliches. But I don't understand how I can want something SO bad and I think I deserve and am qualified for and not get what I want. I think I worked hard for it. I'm working ridiculously hard trying to figure out what to do instead of my original plans. And nothing is working out right. From broken websites to non-existent degrees and difficult parents, it's not working. And I don't think I'm making some of my decisions impartially. I may be indirectly influenced by friends and their different locations. I don't know what to do. I'm looking at alternative options and none of them work out either. It's been three weeks and I still want to cry. It feels like it's been longer. I don't know if I have been properly upset yet.