the voices in my head...
First off. I want to say that these are just my thoughts. i need a place to write it down if you dont want to read it dont.....
Well its like I'm stuck between fear of the unknown the fear of change and the fear of not moving forward the fear of being stuck...
Since i decided I wanted to give it a chance and move to Tacoma all I've heard is dont leave or you'll fall on your face, OR why try you'll only end up getting hurt. I try to tell people that its something i have to do... I have to try and do it on my own and live my life for what i want it to be.
But I have this fear that its all to good to be true that It will all fall apart. The what if and all the fears of a big move. the not knowing.
But even with all of those I still know that i cant stay where I am with out going crazy. I have to take the risk the chance that i have been putting off due to my fears.
but one of my bigest fears is that people wont understnad why I'm doing is and I will lose those friendships that mean so much to me. I'll lose those rocks that i hold on to in the storms of my life.
I hate that the people I love cant seem to get along. That I have so many groups of friends but never can they all come together.
I love that fact that people I now work with will miss me but i hate that they are all tring to make me feel bad about leaving. about wanting to do something that i feel i need to do.
I hate the fact that my parents dont trust me to do this. That they are so against me trying to grow up. Why do they have to try and hold me back. Why do I have to feel bad about trying something new. Why should I have to be alone, be the rock for every one else. Why cant people be happy for me? Well I guess I'm done with my rant. I will go to sleep and hopefully get the news i want from the phone call i am going to make in the morning...
Well its like I'm stuck between fear of the unknown the fear of change and the fear of not moving forward the fear of being stuck...
Since i decided I wanted to give it a chance and move to Tacoma all I've heard is dont leave or you'll fall on your face, OR why try you'll only end up getting hurt. I try to tell people that its something i have to do... I have to try and do it on my own and live my life for what i want it to be.
But I have this fear that its all to good to be true that It will all fall apart. The what if and all the fears of a big move. the not knowing.
But even with all of those I still know that i cant stay where I am with out going crazy. I have to take the risk the chance that i have been putting off due to my fears.
but one of my bigest fears is that people wont understnad why I'm doing is and I will lose those friendships that mean so much to me. I'll lose those rocks that i hold on to in the storms of my life.
I hate that the people I love cant seem to get along. That I have so many groups of friends but never can they all come together.
I love that fact that people I now work with will miss me but i hate that they are all tring to make me feel bad about leaving. about wanting to do something that i feel i need to do.
I hate the fact that my parents dont trust me to do this. That they are so against me trying to grow up. Why do they have to try and hold me back. Why do I have to feel bad about trying something new. Why should I have to be alone, be the rock for every one else. Why cant people be happy for me? Well I guess I'm done with my rant. I will go to sleep and hopefully get the news i want from the phone call i am going to make in the morning...