(no subject)
all i can say is that life just goes on
after i've been saying for months-
this fear-
of death
someone near me dies
it's just the worst thing,
a 16 year old dying. seeing the car on the tv and knowing she was in it, knowing all those girls were hurt at once.
it's the worst thing
6 months ago this girl was helping me get over hurt,
a new crush,
and now she's just someone i'll remember.
and her family has to fucking DEAL with this, they have to go in her room at some point to turn her computer off and sign her offline.
and i've been in that room,
i've been on that computer,
it's all just devastating.
and her friends are crying tonight but it's not over tonight- her best friend is going to be depressed for years,
and if one day he feels better-
he will only just have "issues" someday.
it makes you want to call everyone you love and say i love you
no matter what they've done to you
until you do remember that they don't feel like you
16 years old and her life is just gone
everything is just gone
it makes you want to curl up in a ball and die yourself
all my fucking sympathy goes to her family and her friends
the three other that were in the car, including her girlfriend,
are all critically injured
i can't even imagine,
i can't even imagine this happening to one of my close friends-
not that it makes it any less important,
i just feel so bad,
that this is life. people leave and we get SAD and we can't do SHIT
i feel guilty because all i've been thinking about is death,
it shakes me. that's the only way to describe it,
i've cried and i've smiled but it shakes me, it weird me out, it makes me sad-
and this doesn't seem real
after i've been saying for months-
this fear-
of death
someone near me dies
it's just the worst thing,
a 16 year old dying. seeing the car on the tv and knowing she was in it, knowing all those girls were hurt at once.
it's the worst thing
6 months ago this girl was helping me get over hurt,
a new crush,
and now she's just someone i'll remember.
and her family has to fucking DEAL with this, they have to go in her room at some point to turn her computer off and sign her offline.
and i've been in that room,
i've been on that computer,
it's all just devastating.
and her friends are crying tonight but it's not over tonight- her best friend is going to be depressed for years,
and if one day he feels better-
he will only just have "issues" someday.
it makes you want to call everyone you love and say i love you
no matter what they've done to you
until you do remember that they don't feel like you
16 years old and her life is just gone
everything is just gone
it makes you want to curl up in a ball and die yourself
all my fucking sympathy goes to her family and her friends
the three other that were in the car, including her girlfriend,
are all critically injured
i can't even imagine,
i can't even imagine this happening to one of my close friends-
not that it makes it any less important,
i just feel so bad,
that this is life. people leave and we get SAD and we can't do SHIT
i feel guilty because all i've been thinking about is death,
it shakes me. that's the only way to describe it,
i've cried and i've smiled but it shakes me, it weird me out, it makes me sad-
and this doesn't seem real