College Talk with Parents # 185 bagillion
Okay so yesterday afternoon I overheard my parents discussing next year. They were talking about my intended major. I walked in on the conversation and decided to hear what they had to say. My Dad did most of the talking instead of my Mom, which I had a feeling would happen. Anyways, my Dad was basically saying that I should think of something else to major in, in case criminal justice did not work out. He suggested education. As much as I love children and everything I cannot see myself as a teacher. I basically told my Dad that I do not want to become a person that I hated when I was growing up. All of my life I have basically disliked school in general. Yes, I did dislike a few teachers but, I do not want to become something that I hated. I want to become something that I'm interested in. I love helping people and I love to solve problems. I think the FBI is right for me. It is something that I have had my heart set on since the 6th grade and it has not changed at all. My Dad suggested that I be more open-minded towards a different major not necessarily education but something else. I honestly cannot think of anything else that interests me. My Dad doesn't see me going to school for another 6 years of my life. I told him that in college you basically choose what you want to study. Freshmen year is your basic classes but after that whatever your major is, is what you take a course in. The FBI is what I've always wanted and my mind has not changed and I don't think it will. So that was basically the end of my college talk with my parents.
Lately, I've been feeling even more down about things because of my whole family. Everyone has completely undergone a change and it isn't good. They've all become even more egotistical and greedy than ever before, and there is no turning back. I told my Mom the other day that I think I've begun the beginning stages of depression and when she asked me why I told her I think it is because of my family. She didnt believe me because she says I'm always so happy. I told her that appearances may be misleading. I explained to her that I put up a front around her and my Dad because I don't want them to become worried when they have enough to worry about. I have even begun to put up a front around my friends. Everyone knows me as the funny, cheerful, optimistic girl, but lately thats beginning to change. I guess I'm maturing more, I'm not quite sure. I really wish I knew what was going on. I'm also beginning to become even more independent and I'm starting to rebel. So many factors have been influencing my feelings and thoughts.
In the beginning of every Civics class my teacher tells the class "God never gives you anything you can't handle." I can't say that I believe that. I honestly do not know what my beliefs are any longer. I wish I knew where I am headed with my life. ::Sigh:: I guess I'll figure it out sooner or later.