(no subject)
To begin with, I just made like the past 30 entries or so public, mostly so Caitlin can read them, and 30 because im to lazy to go through all of them right now.
Today was a crash and burn day.
I had a boring beginning of the day at my dads then had a family dinner at my house. I got some good b&w pictures of my cousins, but that was about the only good thing today. Then Caitlin, Levi and myself went downtown to Hart Plaza to take some pictures [because I really need to finish my portfolio]. Levi and myself were in awful moods and we both drove eachother nuts. Appearantly I ruined his night, but he was the one who ruined mine. We came home and started talking, but it took a turn for the worst. He got dramatic and I started crying. He told me he started hanging out with his ex girlfriend again and I flipped out. I dont think I would have made such a big deal of all of it if I wasnt feeling so bad before [my teeth have been hurting since Tuesday and Im prone to sinus headaches, which I had today]. Anyways, there was alot of yelling and what not, and I really wanted to be alone, but my family didnt enjoy my crying because they had guests over so I just went over to Caitlin's. Levi didnt even call me to see if I was okay seeing as I dont even remember how I got to Caitlin's I was crying so hard.
I just feel like shit, Caitlin helped a little bit, but my life as a whole right has been really shitty. I dont know where I stand with Levi and Lance, I feel like I fuck everything up with boys, nothing ever seems to go right. Dating right now is the worst idea ever, yet all I want is someone to be there for me and for me to be there for them. Someone to call on my breaks at school and work, and someone to pass the time with, yet everything feels so serious and so black and white with all the prospects in my life.
Im just really stressed about school and boys and my head hurts really bad. A vicodin would be lovely right about now.
Today was a crash and burn day.
I had a boring beginning of the day at my dads then had a family dinner at my house. I got some good b&w pictures of my cousins, but that was about the only good thing today. Then Caitlin, Levi and myself went downtown to Hart Plaza to take some pictures [because I really need to finish my portfolio]. Levi and myself were in awful moods and we both drove eachother nuts. Appearantly I ruined his night, but he was the one who ruined mine. We came home and started talking, but it took a turn for the worst. He got dramatic and I started crying. He told me he started hanging out with his ex girlfriend again and I flipped out. I dont think I would have made such a big deal of all of it if I wasnt feeling so bad before [my teeth have been hurting since Tuesday and Im prone to sinus headaches, which I had today]. Anyways, there was alot of yelling and what not, and I really wanted to be alone, but my family didnt enjoy my crying because they had guests over so I just went over to Caitlin's. Levi didnt even call me to see if I was okay seeing as I dont even remember how I got to Caitlin's I was crying so hard.
I just feel like shit, Caitlin helped a little bit, but my life as a whole right has been really shitty. I dont know where I stand with Levi and Lance, I feel like I fuck everything up with boys, nothing ever seems to go right. Dating right now is the worst idea ever, yet all I want is someone to be there for me and for me to be there for them. Someone to call on my breaks at school and work, and someone to pass the time with, yet everything feels so serious and so black and white with all the prospects in my life.
Im just really stressed about school and boys and my head hurts really bad. A vicodin would be lovely right about now.