(no subject)
Spare me just, three last words, " I love you " is all she heard. I'll wait for you.. But I can't wait forever.
I hate life. I know it's not meant to be a smooth ride and I know you can't always make the best moves, but It's too much for me. I thought I knew what love was, But I may be wrong. Hell, I probably am wrong. I'm a sad little boy lost in a big world, and I can't make it on my own. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't think I'll live to be 17. I don't even know if I'll live to be 15.. I wish I knew where I was, lead me back to the days when girls had cooties, lead me back to when the only time you herd love was when you mom kissed you goodnight. Take me back, send me away.. I don't know what to do. I'm told I'll get over it. True, but what if I don't live to see that day I got over it. I'd love to be a kid and be mad, but I'm not, and I'm depressed, lonely, fucked, tired, and I want to die. I hope that everything will end. But I care to much, I'd burn in hell on my decsion if I killed myself becasue what about the people {if any} who care. How would they feel. I can't do this. And I don't want an easy way out. I just want something to help me. I probably won't get it, hell, I know I won't. But that's what life's about. So as I cry myself to sleep tonight. I wonder. What if. What if I moved. What if life became great. What if I died. What if I get lost, and never come back. How would people feel. I don't know, and I don't want to find out.. But I wish I was happy. But, I guess that's not for me. I'm gonna go because if I spill my heart out any more. I'll be screwed. And you know. Starting Tuesday, {cuz' I have family over for my b-day} my acting is over. I will be the depressed fuck I am. Deal with it. I don't want to be hipocritical and have people think I'm happy when I want to die. So there it is. Thank you, friends. If it wasn't for friends, life would be pointless. And thank you Susan. Without you, I wouldn't have lived to see what it's like to be 13. Thank you.
I hate life. I know it's not meant to be a smooth ride and I know you can't always make the best moves, but It's too much for me. I thought I knew what love was, But I may be wrong. Hell, I probably am wrong. I'm a sad little boy lost in a big world, and I can't make it on my own. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't think I'll live to be 17. I don't even know if I'll live to be 15.. I wish I knew where I was, lead me back to the days when girls had cooties, lead me back to when the only time you herd love was when you mom kissed you goodnight. Take me back, send me away.. I don't know what to do. I'm told I'll get over it. True, but what if I don't live to see that day I got over it. I'd love to be a kid and be mad, but I'm not, and I'm depressed, lonely, fucked, tired, and I want to die. I hope that everything will end. But I care to much, I'd burn in hell on my decsion if I killed myself becasue what about the people {if any} who care. How would they feel. I can't do this. And I don't want an easy way out. I just want something to help me. I probably won't get it, hell, I know I won't. But that's what life's about. So as I cry myself to sleep tonight. I wonder. What if. What if I moved. What if life became great. What if I died. What if I get lost, and never come back. How would people feel. I don't know, and I don't want to find out.. But I wish I was happy. But, I guess that's not for me. I'm gonna go because if I spill my heart out any more. I'll be screwed. And you know. Starting Tuesday, {cuz' I have family over for my b-day} my acting is over. I will be the depressed fuck I am. Deal with it. I don't want to be hipocritical and have people think I'm happy when I want to die. So there it is. Thank you, friends. If it wasn't for friends, life would be pointless. And thank you Susan. Without you, I wouldn't have lived to see what it's like to be 13. Thank you.