(no subject)
Ok…I’m surrendering…I’m gonna put it in here…*sighs* Ok…
Today during Health, Mr. Lessard decided to go around the room and ask us what our worst fear or fears were…I looked at Trish helplessly and she told me that I didn’t have to tell…So when it came to me…I just said, “Most people know just how easily I can get scared…Donon’s always taken an advantage of that. So he always tries to scare me a lot…” Whew! Got past that one!
But deep down I was thinking about what REALLY scares me…
A.) Losing someone I love too sudden for goodbyes.
-I could never say “I’m sorry for everything” one last time
-I could never tell them how much they mean to me
-I could never look into their eyes again just to see that spark that let’s me know
I’m important to them
-I could never say “I love you…always” just before they embrace death…
B.) Losing my parents before I graduate from high school, college, get married, or have kids
-I’m just not ready to say goodbye…
-I still have a whole life ahead of me that they NEED to be a part of
-I want my dad to walk me down the aisle and I want my mom standing there to kiss my cheek and smile just for me
-I want to be able to SOMEHOW thank them for EVERYTHING…and by having children, I can raise them up just as my parents raised me, and my mom and dad can see just how much I care
-They can’t go…not until I say they can!
C.) Failing and disappointing beyond return
-I never want to fail beyond any return…
-I know I’m not perfect…and no one can be…but being such a disappointment…as in a HUGE disappointment…would be devastating
D.) Loneliness
-I HATE being alone…especially when I need someone to embrace me and hold me
-I don’t want to go through life knowing that there isn’t anyone for me to run to
-I don’t want to die alone…
Those are basically most of my fears…I have a few others…much more personal though…but I REFUSE to put those in here…
I have confided in you…now please…let me know that you are worthy of my trust…Thank you…
Love always,
Christina