(no subject)
I can't sleep. My mind is a jumbled mess and I really wish I had something better than an internet phone to help sort things out.
I was a total jerk today to undeserving people simply bc I honestly didn't give a flying fuck about the situation and I've noticed this is a common and disturbing trend.
I was supposed to work but I basically walked out and my poor coworker was all "um you can't leave everyone will make me do your job.." and I shrugged and said not my fucking problem. Why cant I care more?
At the same time I'm riddled with emotions. I'm such a contradiction.
Also, I can't sleep.
My children stress me out to a near breaking point. I worry about their well being to th3 point I can't even relax to go out to dinner without them. I wish I could just relax. Maybe I need some pot or something. I am trying. I really am. I just don't think I'm cut out for this. Marriage and kids and all. I want to be selfish again, and now I'm lashing out at the innocent just to get that sense of being able to do whatever the eff you want again. Christ. Goodnight.
I was a total jerk today to undeserving people simply bc I honestly didn't give a flying fuck about the situation and I've noticed this is a common and disturbing trend.
I was supposed to work but I basically walked out and my poor coworker was all "um you can't leave everyone will make me do your job.." and I shrugged and said not my fucking problem. Why cant I care more?
At the same time I'm riddled with emotions. I'm such a contradiction.
Also, I can't sleep.
My children stress me out to a near breaking point. I worry about their well being to th3 point I can't even relax to go out to dinner without them. I wish I could just relax. Maybe I need some pot or something. I am trying. I really am. I just don't think I'm cut out for this. Marriage and kids and all. I want to be selfish again, and now I'm lashing out at the innocent just to get that sense of being able to do whatever the eff you want again. Christ. Goodnight.