Don't Want to be...
I figured out why Europeans hate Americans so much. Despise us, if you will. I guess the rest of the world hates us too, but I’m gonna be particular right now. I was getting my news from BBC (Once you go BBC, you never go back) and reading up on the failed launch attempt of the space shuttle when I saw this intriguing quote…
I suddenly understood it all. The fucking manager of NASA (how is that even possible?), our SPACE PROGRAM , said aw shucks. AND THAT’S ALL HE COULD SAY ABOUT A FAILED LAUNCH! Holy shit. I looked this guy up and found all the degrees he has: Hale earned a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering from Rice University in 1976, and a Master of Science in Mechanical Engineering from Purdue University in 1978.
This guy went to Rice and Purdue and all he can say is aw shucks. Goddamnit! So here’s a plea to any Europeans…actually, to anyone else in the world…Please, please believe me when I say this: We’re not all dumb. We’re not all idiots who can only say “Aw shucks” when something goes wrong. Some people can use bigger words here (I can admit we’re the minority).
But I can’t just blame the Americans for being so fucking dumb. I also have to blame news sites like BBC for making sure all of Europe really knows how dumb we are. Was it really necessary to put that quote in bold? And then they bag on our racial inequalities (cue in Dr. Dre. Song here) like they ain’t got none.
And then they give people a chance to talk. They know any Americans will make total asses of themselves. They ask what people’s hopes are for the delayed shuttle mission and an American responds:
Another responds:
They don’t even say the phrase right. HOW DO YOU FUCK UP A PHRASE?! Then a guy from Norway somehow manages to say this:
How the fuck does someone from Norway, which totally lacks a space program altogether, sound brighter than any of the Americans? AHHHHH! HEY ASSHOLES! FUCKING WAKE UP DURING CLASS BETWEEN 1st and 8th grade! PLEASE! That’s all I ask. You don’t have to go to high school, but please pay attention for those first 8 years.
PS On a very flashforward note: Fuck Green Day for ever writing that fucking “American Idiot” song. That would be like me writing a song entitled “I’d Never Be Caught Dead With Anyone Who Got a D in Trigonometry!”
I suddenly understood it all. The fucking manager of NASA (how is that even possible?), our SPACE PROGRAM , said aw shucks. AND THAT’S ALL HE COULD SAY ABOUT A FAILED LAUNCH! Holy shit. I looked this guy up and found all the degrees he has: Hale earned a Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering from Rice University in 1976, and a Master of Science in Mechanical Engineering from Purdue University in 1978.
This guy went to Rice and Purdue and all he can say is aw shucks. Goddamnit! So here’s a plea to any Europeans…actually, to anyone else in the world…Please, please believe me when I say this: We’re not all dumb. We’re not all idiots who can only say “Aw shucks” when something goes wrong. Some people can use bigger words here (I can admit we’re the minority).
But I can’t just blame the Americans for being so fucking dumb. I also have to blame news sites like BBC for making sure all of Europe really knows how dumb we are. Was it really necessary to put that quote in bold? And then they bag on our racial inequalities (cue in Dr. Dre. Song here) like they ain’t got none.
And then they give people a chance to talk. They know any Americans will make total asses of themselves. They ask what people’s hopes are for the delayed shuttle mission and an American responds:
Another responds:
They don’t even say the phrase right. HOW DO YOU FUCK UP A PHRASE?! Then a guy from Norway somehow manages to say this:
How the fuck does someone from Norway, which totally lacks a space program altogether, sound brighter than any of the Americans? AHHHHH! HEY ASSHOLES! FUCKING WAKE UP DURING CLASS BETWEEN 1st and 8th grade! PLEASE! That’s all I ask. You don’t have to go to high school, but please pay attention for those first 8 years.
PS On a very flashforward note: Fuck Green Day for ever writing that fucking “American Idiot” song. That would be like me writing a song entitled “I’d Never Be Caught Dead With Anyone Who Got a D in Trigonometry!”