A Story
God knows I hate boring stories on LJ's. But tonight, I come not to post a cartoon, rant or rave. I come to you with my first story in a very long time. Please, if you have the time, read it.
Tonight, was on of the scariest nights of my entire life. But we'll get to that later. We need to build up to the climax. Here goes:
It was 6:53. I remember the time because whenever I use AIM it tells me the time IM's are sent and received. Jeff and I were bored. Really, really bored. So as I sat there blankly staring at the computer, I decided to be decisive. We were going to hang out and do "drive-by smoke bombings". It would be fun. I would also check and see if my friends Griff and Dev wanted to get in on the fun.
It was 6:57. Jeff was calling and I was about to leave the driveway. "Hello?" I asked. Jeff was eating and attempting to speak to me through a mouthful of God knows what. I didn't listen, it was impossible to hear him anyway. "Look, I'll come get you after I go see Griffin and Dev." I said. "Pall pall me shwhen mew..." He was attempting to talk to me with his mouth full and while I was on my cell. I some how deciphered what he was trying to say. "Yeah, I'll call you when I get to Griff's house. Bye."
It was 7:04. I got to Griff's house and pulled into the driveway. Whoops, not far enough. SCREEECH...I left burn marks on his driveway. ::Sigh:: I walked to the door, rang the doorbell and Griff's mom, Tammy, answered. "Hi!" I said and she let me in. Griff was nearby. Dev came running down the hallway asking for his stupid Xbox controller. I gave it to him. We all head to the back where Griff's Xbox was burning music and his computer was on; some first person shooter was being played by Griff. I looked. "Half-Life 2?" I asked. "No. Tribes something. Dev, what is it called?" Dev answered, Griff's question. Well, I was restless and didn't feel like hanging around in a house playing video games all night. Something I usually do everyday---sadly. I asked them if they wanted to come along with Jeff and I. They indecisevly and after a very long period of time, chose no. I asked a few more times, to no avail. So I headed outside. Griff walked me to the door.
It was 7:14. I got in my car and gave Jeff a call. I said I'd be at his house in 15-20 minutes. He said okay. We hung up. I suddenly realized I wanted to show Griff and Dev my COOL NEW iPOD WITH iTRIP WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO PLAY YOUR MUSIC THROUGH YOUR CAR STEREO OR ANY STEREO WIRELESSLY!!! "Overcompensating for something?" You may ask me. ::ahem:: Yes. So they came outside, took a look and listen. Agreed it was rock solid awesome. Then I told them about the smoke bombing that was planned. I showed them the smoke bombs. "These are the little ones." Dev said. He agreed to set one off to prove it to me. He lit it up and threw it way, way up---and straight on to a car. Well, I jet.
It was 7:24 and I was speeding down 3rd Street. 45...no, wait, 50 mph. Cutting people off, blasting my music, speeding. And my mom thinks I'm a good driver. Pssshhh. I was quick to arrive at Jeff's.
It was 7:29. Jeff was in front of his house, waiting for me. He got in and pretended he was a drug dealer. All is good, and slightly funny. We decided who's house we'd smoke bomb and headed over to it. We called him to make him go outside so we could throw them directly at him. No one picked up. Our plans are ruined. We decided to go back to Griff's and pick them up, maybe go to Starbuck's or something. We arrive at Griff's house. I called him from outside. "ORSON'S ACTUALLY BEING DEMANDING!" He yelled to Dev. They try to go, but Griff's mom says I'm too young to be driving people around. She's right. At this point, Jeff and I are completely and utterly out of ideas. "Want to call Luigi, see if he can come?" Jeff asked. "Sure." I said.
It was 7:53. We arrived at Luigi's and he got in the back. I noticed I needed gas. I went up to Franklin to get the cheap stuff. $1.95. Jeff went in to ask for $5 worth. I pumped that shit in my tank and got back in. Time to roll, bitches.
It was 8:01. Jeff spotted a police car. I was scared, even though I hadn't seen it. I proceed to make an illegal left on to Franklin. I noticed Luigi had my iPod and was playing Soundgarden. Not the best music to be riding to. But I didn't say anything. After a long while of arguing, we decided to go to Larchmont, where we then decided to get candy at Rite-Aid... exciting . We went to Blockbuster and then went back into the car.
It was 8:55. I called my mom. I said, "I'll be 15 minutes late." Suddenly, shit was about to get crazy.
It was 8:59. We were going up Van Ness to take Luigi home. Jeff was now in control of the iPod. Billie Jean comes on. We blasted the radio, rolled down the window and I started irradically driving. I'm swerving the car from one side of the street to the other, braking to the music. Suddenly, a mediocre night, became a fucking kick ass night. Then I saw that we coming up on some people on the sidewalk. I begin to overdo it. I'm braking like crazy and having too much fun. We turned to look at them. Cholo's. Oh shit. I stop fucking around. We're nervously laughing, loudly. I sped up to make a right at Melrose. I quickly make the turn and cut across a lane so I can make a left. OH SHIT. We all noticed a cop behind me. Switch to Present Perspective:
"Shit dude! Slow down!" Jeff yells. I look in my rearview. His lights aren't flashing yet...Yes, he's sped up, but maybe he isn't after me. I'm shaking. Did I do anything illegal? I wasn't speeding. I used my signal to go into the left lane...Shit. I hadn't stayed in the right lane while making my right turn. Did he notice? I reach for the volume as I come to a halt in the left turn lane. The light's red. The cop stops in the farthest right lane. Then suddenly he jolts at least 10 feet forward. I look up. The light is still red. The cop comes to a screeching halt. "I've never seen a drunk cop before." I say out loud. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. He does it one more time. By now, the guy is sitting halfway in the intersection. It's still red. Finally, it turns green. I inch into the intersection, watching the cop through my peripheral vision. He keeps driving forward. I breath a premature sigh of relief. FUCK SHIT ASS BITCH! THE COP CUTS TWO LANES OF TRAFFIC AND SPEEDS IN JUST ONE BLOCK SO AS TO GET INTO THE LEFT TURN LANE. He's after me. He's gonna cut me off on the next block. Traffic clears and I fucking jam. I'm shaking and stuttering. "What do I do?!?!?!?! He's after me!!!" I'm yelling. Luigi and Jeff are freaking out now, too.
I keep driving, but Murphy's Law seems to be in effect. I've hit the longest block in Los Angeles. "Turn right here!!" Jeff yells. "WHERE?!" I yell, "There's nowhere to turn!!" I keep driving. Finally a very poorly lit block arrives, the first block after my left turn and I make a right. I attempt to turn off my lights to no avail. STUPID ASS NEW CARS!! Incapable of turning off lights when it's too dark!!! "Park!!!" Jeff yells. I do. No cop. Jeff realizes something, "He was trying to turn left on a one way street and it's going the opposite way he was trying to." I'm slightly releaved, but still very paranoid. I try to figure out a way to turn off my lights while still in the middle of this dark street. I turn off the car engine and it continues to roll forward, I'm not worried though. I put it in park. <36> CRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKK . My car has stalled. "FUCKKKK!!!!!" I begin to meltdown. "WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!" I shout.
Jeff, always calm, instructs me to turn the car completely off and try turning it on. I try three times. Third time is the charm. SHHHRRRRRK
VRUUUUM. Engine on, baby. We are, once again, good to go. The night will end slowly, with me never again going over 35, but I swear on my life I will not break a single law. Phew.
Tonight, was on of the scariest nights of my entire life. But we'll get to that later. We need to build up to the climax. Here goes:
It was 6:53. I remember the time because whenever I use AIM it tells me the time IM's are sent and received. Jeff and I were bored. Really, really bored. So as I sat there blankly staring at the computer, I decided to be decisive. We were going to hang out and do "drive-by smoke bombings". It would be fun. I would also check and see if my friends Griff and Dev wanted to get in on the fun.
It was 6:57. Jeff was calling and I was about to leave the driveway. "Hello?" I asked. Jeff was eating and attempting to speak to me through a mouthful of God knows what. I didn't listen, it was impossible to hear him anyway. "Look, I'll come get you after I go see Griffin and Dev." I said. "Pall pall me shwhen mew..." He was attempting to talk to me with his mouth full and while I was on my cell. I some how deciphered what he was trying to say. "Yeah, I'll call you when I get to Griff's house. Bye."
It was 7:04. I got to Griff's house and pulled into the driveway. Whoops, not far enough. SCREEECH...I left burn marks on his driveway. ::Sigh:: I walked to the door, rang the doorbell and Griff's mom, Tammy, answered. "Hi!" I said and she let me in. Griff was nearby. Dev came running down the hallway asking for his stupid Xbox controller. I gave it to him. We all head to the back where Griff's Xbox was burning music and his computer was on; some first person shooter was being played by Griff. I looked. "Half-Life 2?" I asked. "No. Tribes something. Dev, what is it called?" Dev answered, Griff's question. Well, I was restless and didn't feel like hanging around in a house playing video games all night. Something I usually do everyday---sadly. I asked them if they wanted to come along with Jeff and I. They indecisevly and after a very long period of time, chose no. I asked a few more times, to no avail. So I headed outside. Griff walked me to the door.
It was 7:14. I got in my car and gave Jeff a call. I said I'd be at his house in 15-20 minutes. He said okay. We hung up. I suddenly realized I wanted to show Griff and Dev my COOL NEW iPOD WITH iTRIP WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO PLAY YOUR MUSIC THROUGH YOUR CAR STEREO OR ANY STEREO WIRELESSLY!!! "Overcompensating for something?" You may ask me. ::ahem:: Yes. So they came outside, took a look and listen. Agreed it was rock solid awesome. Then I told them about the smoke bombing that was planned. I showed them the smoke bombs. "These are the little ones." Dev said. He agreed to set one off to prove it to me. He lit it up and threw it way, way up---and straight on to a car. Well, I jet.
It was 7:24 and I was speeding down 3rd Street. 45...no, wait, 50 mph. Cutting people off, blasting my music, speeding. And my mom thinks I'm a good driver. Pssshhh. I was quick to arrive at Jeff's.
It was 7:29. Jeff was in front of his house, waiting for me. He got in and pretended he was a drug dealer. All is good, and slightly funny. We decided who's house we'd smoke bomb and headed over to it. We called him to make him go outside so we could throw them directly at him. No one picked up. Our plans are ruined. We decided to go back to Griff's and pick them up, maybe go to Starbuck's or something. We arrive at Griff's house. I called him from outside. "ORSON'S ACTUALLY BEING DEMANDING!" He yelled to Dev. They try to go, but Griff's mom says I'm too young to be driving people around. She's right. At this point, Jeff and I are completely and utterly out of ideas. "Want to call Luigi, see if he can come?" Jeff asked. "Sure." I said.
It was 7:53. We arrived at Luigi's and he got in the back. I noticed I needed gas. I went up to Franklin to get the cheap stuff. $1.95. Jeff went in to ask for $5 worth. I pumped that shit in my tank and got back in. Time to roll, bitches.
It was 8:01. Jeff spotted a police car. I was scared, even though I hadn't seen it. I proceed to make an illegal left on to Franklin. I noticed Luigi had my iPod and was playing Soundgarden. Not the best music to be riding to. But I didn't say anything. After a long while of arguing, we decided to go to Larchmont, where we then decided to get candy at Rite-Aid... exciting . We went to Blockbuster and then went back into the car.
It was 8:55. I called my mom. I said, "I'll be 15 minutes late." Suddenly, shit was about to get crazy.
It was 8:59. We were going up Van Ness to take Luigi home. Jeff was now in control of the iPod. Billie Jean comes on. We blasted the radio, rolled down the window and I started irradically driving. I'm swerving the car from one side of the street to the other, braking to the music. Suddenly, a mediocre night, became a fucking kick ass night. Then I saw that we coming up on some people on the sidewalk. I begin to overdo it. I'm braking like crazy and having too much fun. We turned to look at them. Cholo's. Oh shit. I stop fucking around. We're nervously laughing, loudly. I sped up to make a right at Melrose. I quickly make the turn and cut across a lane so I can make a left. OH SHIT. We all noticed a cop behind me. Switch to Present Perspective:
"Shit dude! Slow down!" Jeff yells. I look in my rearview. His lights aren't flashing yet...Yes, he's sped up, but maybe he isn't after me. I'm shaking. Did I do anything illegal? I wasn't speeding. I used my signal to go into the left lane...Shit. I hadn't stayed in the right lane while making my right turn. Did he notice? I reach for the volume as I come to a halt in the left turn lane. The light's red. The cop stops in the farthest right lane. Then suddenly he jolts at least 10 feet forward. I look up. The light is still red. The cop comes to a screeching halt. "I've never seen a drunk cop before." I say out loud. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. He does it one more time. By now, the guy is sitting halfway in the intersection. It's still red. Finally, it turns green. I inch into the intersection, watching the cop through my peripheral vision. He keeps driving forward. I breath a premature sigh of relief. FUCK SHIT ASS BITCH! THE COP CUTS TWO LANES OF TRAFFIC AND SPEEDS IN JUST ONE BLOCK SO AS TO GET INTO THE LEFT TURN LANE. He's after me. He's gonna cut me off on the next block. Traffic clears and I fucking jam. I'm shaking and stuttering. "What do I do?!?!?!?! He's after me!!!" I'm yelling. Luigi and Jeff are freaking out now, too.
I keep driving, but Murphy's Law seems to be in effect. I've hit the longest block in Los Angeles. "Turn right here!!" Jeff yells. "WHERE?!" I yell, "There's nowhere to turn!!" I keep driving. Finally a very poorly lit block arrives, the first block after my left turn and I make a right. I attempt to turn off my lights to no avail. STUPID ASS NEW CARS!! Incapable of turning off lights when it's too dark!!! "Park!!!" Jeff yells. I do. No cop. Jeff realizes something, "He was trying to turn left on a one way street and it's going the opposite way he was trying to." I'm slightly releaved, but still very paranoid. I try to figure out a way to turn off my lights while still in the middle of this dark street. I turn off the car engine and it continues to roll forward, I'm not worried though. I put it in park. <36> CRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKK . My car has stalled. "FUCKKKK!!!!!" I begin to meltdown. "WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!" I shout.
Jeff, always calm, instructs me to turn the car completely off and try turning it on. I try three times. Third time is the charm. SHHHRRRRRK
VRUUUUM. Engine on, baby. We are, once again, good to go. The night will end slowly, with me never again going over 35, but I swear on my life I will not break a single law. Phew.