The New US
Are you sick of the Republican ideology and Evangelical Christian ideals turning this country into a country almost as bad as a place like Iran? Do you want to stop the disintegration of the separation of church and state? Do you hate the War on Iraq? Are you sick of corporate corruption? Want to start on a new slate? Do you just want an escape?
Fellow Americans, I offer you my plan for a new America. An improved America. An America that is liked by everyone in the world. An AWESOME United States:
Think about it my fellow citizens (and non-citizens). The advantages of departing from the patriarch that is America far outweigh the disadvantages. We could bring all the troops back from Iraq because the United States of Awesome never submitted to being involved in the War on Iraq. We’d literally destroy the population problem in one swift blow. Not only would the population be cut from 281 some odd million to 97.8 million, but most of those cut off would be right-wing conservatives. WOO-HOO! Think of how quickly the United States of Awesome could develop hydrogen fuel cell cars, solar powered homes and use stem cell research to cure every disease known to man! We won’t need the dirty oil from Alaska and we won’t need to support vast wastelands like Utah, Idaho, Nevada and Oklahoma, where all they have going for them is Mormons, potatoes, gambling and dirt.
So my fellow Awesomians, depart this country and what it has become. We shall say fair well to the land that “was” and create our land that “will be”!
Fellow Americans, I offer you my plan for a new America. An improved America. An America that is liked by everyone in the world. An AWESOME United States:
Think about it my fellow citizens (and non-citizens). The advantages of departing from the patriarch that is America far outweigh the disadvantages. We could bring all the troops back from Iraq because the United States of Awesome never submitted to being involved in the War on Iraq. We’d literally destroy the population problem in one swift blow. Not only would the population be cut from 281 some odd million to 97.8 million, but most of those cut off would be right-wing conservatives. WOO-HOO! Think of how quickly the United States of Awesome could develop hydrogen fuel cell cars, solar powered homes and use stem cell research to cure every disease known to man! We won’t need the dirty oil from Alaska and we won’t need to support vast wastelands like Utah, Idaho, Nevada and Oklahoma, where all they have going for them is Mormons, potatoes, gambling and dirt.
So my fellow Awesomians, depart this country and what it has become. We shall say fair well to the land that “was” and create our land that “will be”!