It's just a heartache that got caught in my eye, but I'll never cry...
As the old adage goes, 'be careful what you wish for'. Apparently, you should also be careful when thinking "well at least this is rock bottom, it only goes up from here," You might just be proven wrong. My best friend moves to florida, my car breaks and i have no money to fix it, i cant stand living at home or even going home after school anymore for all of the fighting,and a few other horrible things happened this week. Thus, i thought well, if nothing else, this is as bad as it gets right? Wrong. We find out that my 8 year old pefectly fine cat has cancer, and we have to put him down. Suddenly, just like that, and now my poor kitty is gone. Without question that was the saddest thing I have ever had to do, and just on top of everything it was too much.
just running out of solutions, and now knowing where to go or what to do about anything. even these journals have become cliche and obsolete. This has been two weeks of events that you know will change you forever. The kind of situations where you will not come out on the other side unscarred, inevitably a different person. Maybe that's ok. Every so often I think it's time to change a little bit, because if life stays the same and I become my own static character, what good is that? You need to change in order grow, to be stronger, to learn, and you can't always do that from happy experiences. Though this phrase is now resonating in my head, I can't help but revert back to the old 'this isn't fair' routine.
To continue with my cliches, life is what you make of it. That doesn't necessarily mean turn every situation into a cheerful sunny day, because that just cannot be done. But if you allow every little annoyance, inconvenience, and hardship to seep into your veins and get the best of you, where will you be? Sad and broken down forever every minute of every day? Being rational is the only approach that makes sense, breaking down over something that is out of your control makes no sense, and breaking down over something that IS in your control makes even less sense. Just some of tonights musings.
I feel a little better now after having taken a break and talking to an old friend. And like a desperate thief i took every word of that conversation and reveled in it, stringing sentences around me like jewelry. Sad when such a simple conversation can brighten a day, and when I can take those words with a grain of salt and make them mean whatever I want. Just a very strategically placed conversation on a night when i think I needed it the most.
Enough musing for tonight.
just running out of solutions, and now knowing where to go or what to do about anything. even these journals have become cliche and obsolete. This has been two weeks of events that you know will change you forever. The kind of situations where you will not come out on the other side unscarred, inevitably a different person. Maybe that's ok. Every so often I think it's time to change a little bit, because if life stays the same and I become my own static character, what good is that? You need to change in order grow, to be stronger, to learn, and you can't always do that from happy experiences. Though this phrase is now resonating in my head, I can't help but revert back to the old 'this isn't fair' routine.
To continue with my cliches, life is what you make of it. That doesn't necessarily mean turn every situation into a cheerful sunny day, because that just cannot be done. But if you allow every little annoyance, inconvenience, and hardship to seep into your veins and get the best of you, where will you be? Sad and broken down forever every minute of every day? Being rational is the only approach that makes sense, breaking down over something that is out of your control makes no sense, and breaking down over something that IS in your control makes even less sense. Just some of tonights musings.
I feel a little better now after having taken a break and talking to an old friend. And like a desperate thief i took every word of that conversation and reveled in it, stringing sentences around me like jewelry. Sad when such a simple conversation can brighten a day, and when I can take those words with a grain of salt and make them mean whatever I want. Just a very strategically placed conversation on a night when i think I needed it the most.
Enough musing for tonight.