Second Chance.
"The boy never cried again, and he never forgot what he'd learned: that to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed."
-Cassandra Clare
It's not the first time he's told her goodbye.
But this time, it feels like the last.
~***~
Freshman year. The Spring Formal. Chloe had been his date. They had both been so happy.
That is, until he'd ran out on her.
Sure, he'd had a good reason. He'd saved Lana's life, and his father had gone missing. But he'd learned the next day just how much he must have hurt her, because she'd pushed him away. She'd told him she just wanted to be friends, that she thought they'd be better off that way. He'd forced a smile and nodded, pretending he was okay with it, but deep down, it'd hurt his feelings.
And that day, he made a promise to himself.
He promised himself that he would never again walk away from her, or leave her behind, without telling her goodbye first.
~***~
Only twice has he not kept that promise.
Once, when he'd slipped on a Red Kryptonite ring and ran off to Metropolis for the summer. He hadn't exactly been himself, and besides, she had told him goodbye beforehand. She'd been angry, had felt betrayed, because he'd hidden his relationship with Lana from her. In retrospect, she'd probably been right to be upset. It's why he eventually forgave her for her business deal with Lionel.
The only other time he didn't keep his promise was the day she discovered his secret. He hadn't wanted to leave her alone in that hospital in the Arctic Tundra, but she'd yelled for him to go, to go home and check on his parents and Shelby. He'd had every intention of going back, but he'd lost his powers, and had no way to do so. Lex had picked her up not long after, with nefarious intentions, he was sure. But he'd never know, really.
~***~
Three times.
Three times, he's told her goodbye.
And every time but the last, he's said it with a kiss.
The first was the night they thought the world was ending. He hadn't want to leave her behind, to leave her alone. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye. But she'd pushed him. She'd urged him onward, to do what he had to do. To be the hero she believed he was. He'd started to leave, but then she'd called his name. His mouth had been seconds from opening, telling her goodbye, when he'd turned around. But then, after a single sentence, ten words from her sweet mouth, there were no more words. A single kiss, a single sweet kiss, and one look. He said all he could in the way he kissed her back, the way his eyes held hers in the seconds before he moved away. He said goodbye, but not in the way he'd expected.
The second time, the word didn't leave his lips, either. Instead, he'd caught her unconscious, and just about poured his heart out, just as he knew she had to him years before. And then he'd kissed her forehead, and let her memories fade away. He'd told her that the only way he could save her was to let her go, and he had, in so many ways. He'd released her from carrying his secret, and he'd essentially released her into Jimmy's waiting arms, where he'd believed she'd be happy, where she'd live a normal life with the man she loved. He wouldn't know until much later it was something he shouldn't have done.
The third time, the final time, the word did leave his lips. Before, he'd only expressed it in other ways. This time, he had to say it to make her understand. To show her, that this time, he meant it. It hurt him to do it, because he knew he'd hurt her. He'd hurt her, in so many ways, destroyed her, even, and he'd never forgive himself for it. He'd destroyed her, all because he loved her. His love for her had ruined her life, and now an innocent man was dead. An innocent man she had loved, and Clark felt that he, himself, had killed, in essence. He knew her life would be better without him in it, so it was time to say goodbye.
~***~
In spite of the finality of his words, and his actions, he knows that goodbye doesn't always mean forever.
It never does.
Sometimes, goodbye is just the beginning.
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance...
[ooc: Consider this the coda for Doomsday in the Instinct verse. Title and end lyrics from the song by Shinedown, which is a prompt for justprompts. Quote at the beginning is a prompt for sunday_reveries.]
-Cassandra Clare
It's not the first time he's told her goodbye.
But this time, it feels like the last.
~***~
Freshman year. The Spring Formal. Chloe had been his date. They had both been so happy.
That is, until he'd ran out on her.
Sure, he'd had a good reason. He'd saved Lana's life, and his father had gone missing. But he'd learned the next day just how much he must have hurt her, because she'd pushed him away. She'd told him she just wanted to be friends, that she thought they'd be better off that way. He'd forced a smile and nodded, pretending he was okay with it, but deep down, it'd hurt his feelings.
And that day, he made a promise to himself.
He promised himself that he would never again walk away from her, or leave her behind, without telling her goodbye first.
~***~
Only twice has he not kept that promise.
Once, when he'd slipped on a Red Kryptonite ring and ran off to Metropolis for the summer. He hadn't exactly been himself, and besides, she had told him goodbye beforehand. She'd been angry, had felt betrayed, because he'd hidden his relationship with Lana from her. In retrospect, she'd probably been right to be upset. It's why he eventually forgave her for her business deal with Lionel.
The only other time he didn't keep his promise was the day she discovered his secret. He hadn't wanted to leave her alone in that hospital in the Arctic Tundra, but she'd yelled for him to go, to go home and check on his parents and Shelby. He'd had every intention of going back, but he'd lost his powers, and had no way to do so. Lex had picked her up not long after, with nefarious intentions, he was sure. But he'd never know, really.
~***~
Three times.
Three times, he's told her goodbye.
And every time but the last, he's said it with a kiss.
The first was the night they thought the world was ending. He hadn't want to leave her behind, to leave her alone. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye. But she'd pushed him. She'd urged him onward, to do what he had to do. To be the hero she believed he was. He'd started to leave, but then she'd called his name. His mouth had been seconds from opening, telling her goodbye, when he'd turned around. But then, after a single sentence, ten words from her sweet mouth, there were no more words. A single kiss, a single sweet kiss, and one look. He said all he could in the way he kissed her back, the way his eyes held hers in the seconds before he moved away. He said goodbye, but not in the way he'd expected.
The second time, the word didn't leave his lips, either. Instead, he'd caught her unconscious, and just about poured his heart out, just as he knew she had to him years before. And then he'd kissed her forehead, and let her memories fade away. He'd told her that the only way he could save her was to let her go, and he had, in so many ways. He'd released her from carrying his secret, and he'd essentially released her into Jimmy's waiting arms, where he'd believed she'd be happy, where she'd live a normal life with the man she loved. He wouldn't know until much later it was something he shouldn't have done.
The third time, the final time, the word did leave his lips. Before, he'd only expressed it in other ways. This time, he had to say it to make her understand. To show her, that this time, he meant it. It hurt him to do it, because he knew he'd hurt her. He'd hurt her, in so many ways, destroyed her, even, and he'd never forgive himself for it. He'd destroyed her, all because he loved her. His love for her had ruined her life, and now an innocent man was dead. An innocent man she had loved, and Clark felt that he, himself, had killed, in essence. He knew her life would be better without him in it, so it was time to say goodbye.
~***~
In spite of the finality of his words, and his actions, he knows that goodbye doesn't always mean forever.
It never does.
Sometimes, goodbye is just the beginning.
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance...
[ooc: Consider this the coda for Doomsday in the Instinct verse. Title and end lyrics from the song by Shinedown, which is a prompt for justprompts. Quote at the beginning is a prompt for sunday_reveries.]