When are you coming back
I need to make some changes.
I'm not sure how much longer I'll be updating here with actual personal content. I have things to talk about but it's hard to open myself up like that when it feels like no one's listening. Which I know isn't true but it's just how I've felt lately. Superficial friendships make me miss friends who love me despite my failures and slips and insecurities.
Tomorrow it will be nine months since the last time I spoke with my best friend. Mostly I think I'm over it until I remember college and naptimes together and telling her things I had never told anyone else and having her love me anyway. And then I think, how can I ever be over it.
I had never had a friend like that, someone who got me, who made me feel comfortable enough to be my real self. I have four different selves and she saw the whole me. Moreso than even my family. She was a blessing and a huge part of my life. And mostly I'm so grateful to have had her in my life. Except now I know what I'm missing.
Our five year reunion is this Spring. I cannot believe it. I remember one day sitting on the front porch of Main and watching these two alumni in their nineties who'd been best friends since their first year at Hollins, riding around campus together in a golf cart and me and her talking about how that would be us someday.
Enough of that. So have a meme, instead, because music and memes are fun.
From delicatelight
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.
She gave me N.
1. Nothing at All - Kasey Chambers
2. Not the Same Girl - Leona Naess
3. Never Saw Blue Like That - Shawn Colvin
4. No One Like You - David Crowder Band
5. Nothing That You Are - Mandy Moore
I'm not sure how much longer I'll be updating here with actual personal content. I have things to talk about but it's hard to open myself up like that when it feels like no one's listening. Which I know isn't true but it's just how I've felt lately. Superficial friendships make me miss friends who love me despite my failures and slips and insecurities.
Tomorrow it will be nine months since the last time I spoke with my best friend. Mostly I think I'm over it until I remember college and naptimes together and telling her things I had never told anyone else and having her love me anyway. And then I think, how can I ever be over it.
I had never had a friend like that, someone who got me, who made me feel comfortable enough to be my real self. I have four different selves and she saw the whole me. Moreso than even my family. She was a blessing and a huge part of my life. And mostly I'm so grateful to have had her in my life. Except now I know what I'm missing.
Our five year reunion is this Spring. I cannot believe it. I remember one day sitting on the front porch of Main and watching these two alumni in their nineties who'd been best friends since their first year at Hollins, riding around campus together in a golf cart and me and her talking about how that would be us someday.
Enough of that. So have a meme, instead, because music and memes are fun.
From delicatelight
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.
She gave me N.
1. Nothing at All - Kasey Chambers
2. Not the Same Girl - Leona Naess
3. Never Saw Blue Like That - Shawn Colvin
4. No One Like You - David Crowder Band
5. Nothing That You Are - Mandy Moore