Safe Space
So my post are very few and very far between but i figure that since rarely anyone reads these its a safe space for me. So let me start by say anything i say in here is not looking for comment or acknowledgement but more a way of letting something go without the questions or looks.
2006 is over. thank God. This year was the worst i can recall in all my 19 years. beside the obvious loses i am starting to wonder how my life came to the point it is at. my day to day life is average to say the least and for the most part i am ok with that. but there are moments where i feel like i am about to be sucked into a life of always making others happy and numbers and lost time. its not normal to drive to work and think if i get hit by a car, does that mean i wont have to go in? i see other peoples lives but i dont envy them i just want something new. some new adventure to go on. to leave all the things behind for just a little while. although my personal life is at a slow pace i am happy. i am happy it is for the most part drama free. i am happy that i am in with the people that i care about and that care about me. i guess the saying is true... i would rather have two friends that really care about me than 20 that dont. i have many things i hope to change this year and i think that if i free myself of certain things, i can achive them. i have people watching over me in a real way now and i want to make them proud. i want to be the person that God and i know that i can be. i know this is random but it is where my mind has been. i wouldnt mind working in retail or something of that sort for the rest of my life if it would mean i get the things i really want. someone who loves me, who is willing to wait for me. someone i love. a family. a home that is ours. i know these things are very tabo now adays but its what i want. i want to be a wife and a mom. maybe not now, maybe not in the next five years but its what i want. maybe i can find the person who wants them too this year. well cyber space thanks for listening and i will talk to you in a another 6 months.
2006 is over. thank God. This year was the worst i can recall in all my 19 years. beside the obvious loses i am starting to wonder how my life came to the point it is at. my day to day life is average to say the least and for the most part i am ok with that. but there are moments where i feel like i am about to be sucked into a life of always making others happy and numbers and lost time. its not normal to drive to work and think if i get hit by a car, does that mean i wont have to go in? i see other peoples lives but i dont envy them i just want something new. some new adventure to go on. to leave all the things behind for just a little while. although my personal life is at a slow pace i am happy. i am happy it is for the most part drama free. i am happy that i am in with the people that i care about and that care about me. i guess the saying is true... i would rather have two friends that really care about me than 20 that dont. i have many things i hope to change this year and i think that if i free myself of certain things, i can achive them. i have people watching over me in a real way now and i want to make them proud. i want to be the person that God and i know that i can be. i know this is random but it is where my mind has been. i wouldnt mind working in retail or something of that sort for the rest of my life if it would mean i get the things i really want. someone who loves me, who is willing to wait for me. someone i love. a family. a home that is ours. i know these things are very tabo now adays but its what i want. i want to be a wife and a mom. maybe not now, maybe not in the next five years but its what i want. maybe i can find the person who wants them too this year. well cyber space thanks for listening and i will talk to you in a another 6 months.