I'm angry...
I'm angry about many things. Mainly myself for screwing myself the way that i have. They always say hind-sight is 20-20. And it is. Looking back the things i did weren't that important. Why didnt i just sit down and do my Econ work? Why couldnt i just pass math? So here i am, five weeks away from the big and i still dont know if i will walk the stage. Which disappoints me. I mean, i worked hard this year in everything else. So my senior project counts for nothing. how shitty is that? I got 7 out of 8 on my portfolio, compeleted it with flying colors and have a cool presentation yet it wont count. I'm so mad at myself for letting it get this bad. And of course it is this year, my last year that i F'ed around and now am in danger. Gad, why am i such an idiot.
I'm also angry for beliving what people tell me. For waiting for something that almost never comes. Of feeling used and picked over by people. What about me makes it so easy for pepole to walk over. I thought that it wouldn't effect me anymore. I thought that i could be strong and not care that something is slipping away but im the only one trying. How could they lie to me? I hate believe it? Why did i wait? Why did i check to see? I wish it wouldn't hurt this badly.
so. I'm going to watch Phantom of the Opera. I need something to take my mind of off this. Please on the who graduation thing, if you could keep it quiet. I dont want my mom or dad finding out yet. Thanks.
I'm also angry for beliving what people tell me. For waiting for something that almost never comes. Of feeling used and picked over by people. What about me makes it so easy for pepole to walk over. I thought that it wouldn't effect me anymore. I thought that i could be strong and not care that something is slipping away but im the only one trying. How could they lie to me? I hate believe it? Why did i wait? Why did i check to see? I wish it wouldn't hurt this badly.
so. I'm going to watch Phantom of the Opera. I need something to take my mind of off this. Please on the who graduation thing, if you could keep it quiet. I dont want my mom or dad finding out yet. Thanks.